Love Makes You Blind

From the moment you walked through that door, I knew I had to have you. Our eyes met and it felt like time had stopped for us, like the world had ended and we were the only two in existence. And I was okay with that. The idea of spending an eternity with you and only you not only made sense, it felt right. 

You walked towards me, your dress billowing as you walked. My mind worked overtime just to take in every little detail of you. I saw a cut on your finger, I counted the eyelashes on your face, I noticed the glimmer of the gloss on your lips.

You smiled at me, and I knew then it was okay for me to die. That nothing in my life would compare to our first meeting, but then I instantly regretted the thought. Fool, I told myself, how can you say you’re fine with death when the reason for living is standing right in front of you? I would have slapped myself for such a horrible thought if you hadn’t been around, but seeing you made me think better of it, and instead I stood and shook your hand.

Can I make a confession? I had already gotten your name the first time you spoke it. So why did I make you repeat yourself and say your name over and over again? Because there was nothing sweeter than to hear you say your own name. Try to understand it from my point of view: if an angel had spoken to you, wouldn’t you want to hear everything she had to say again?

But I don’t want you to think of me as shallow. It is not just your appearance and voice that made me fall in love. No, it was also your wit and intelligence. As soon as we sat down, you said the most humorous thing I had ever heard. I guffawed loudly, drawing the attention of numerous eyes in the restaurant. But I didn’t care! Let them watch as I laugh at your words! They are only jealous that they cannot join me in my worship of you.

When you’re in love, everything about your mate seems perfect and appealing, but for me I knew it’s true. Everything about you is great, even the way you eat. Every bite you took was perfection, art. I barely had time to finish my own meal, so distracted I was by the sight of your consumption. 

And now that I come to the end, I must apologize for what I did next. I began sobbing in front of you, startling you and making you immediately ask if I was okay, which only made me cry harder. You probably think that I was crying out of sadness, and I berate myself for making you feel that way. The only reason why I haven’t ended my life was to write to you and explain my tears.

I cried because I was overjoyed with being with you. And when you asked if I was okay, I was touched by your warmth and compassion, thus the reason for why I cried harder. I ask you to forgive me for being so weak, it’s just difficult for me to handle such greatness as yourself. I want you to know that if you accept my apology, I would like to ask you to marry me. I don’t want to imply that we’re equals, I know that’ll never be. I want to be your husband to be your loyal servant forever. I know I don’t deserve you, but I promise to do everything for you if you will let me.

From,

Your Loyal Servant

***

I went on a date with a freak last week. This guy I go to work with said that he was trying to find a date for his friend who was having a really hard time. I really didn’t feel like going on a date, but this guy promised that he would pay for my part of the meal if I said yes. In hindsight, offering to basically pay me so I’d go out with his friend was a red flag.

As soon as I walked into the restaurant, I knew it was a mistake. He kept staring at me as I walked towards him, mainly staring at my boobs. I tried to be polite and smile, but he looked even creepier when I did that. 

He asked me for my name, and I swear to god, I had to repeat it like five times for him. I’m not even sure why his friend didn’t tell him my name, but whatever. We sat down and I apologized to him for being late. I explained that something had come up at work and I had to stay longer than usual. I called my boss a dick, and he laughed like he had never in life heard a joke before. Seriously, he was cackling like a hyena and everyone was staring at us. I wanted to ditch him right there, but I was pretty hungry, so I stayed. And wow do I regret it.

I ate a lot (might as well make the best of a free meal) and this freak kept staring at me while I did it. I think he has some weird fetish or something, because I could have sworn he actually licked his lips at one point. It was pretty off-putting, but I tried to ignore him as best as I could.

The date was coming to an end- thank god- and this weirdo had to pull one final stunt. He started crying out of nowhere! Everyone was staring at us again, but I was already used to it at this point. I asked him if he was okay, which made him cry even harder for some reason! I mumbled something about having to feed my cat (which I don’t have) and left him.

Now I got a letter from that guy. I don’t even want to think about how he got my mailing address. As soon as I got the letter, I threw it away. Hopefully that guy will leave me alone in the future. Still, I got to admit I think it was worth it just for the meal.