The Freedom in Virtue

Have you ever heard the expression “The truth will set you free?” I am here to tell you that that statement is very accurate. I am going to tell you a story about a woman who always lied. Her lies got bigger and bigger until one day she had herself in such a conundrum and had no way out. Let her story serve to you a lesson on the importance of truth. 

Kennedy grew up in a large family. She was one of five children. Smack dab in the middle. She spent the majority of her childhood fighting for a spot in the bathroom to get ready for school, for mom and dad’s attention and for teachers to remember her for her individual characteristics; not just the family name she was attached to. One day, she grew terribly frustrated when she wanted to get into the bathroom to get ready for “Opposite Day”. It was Spirit Week at school and it was her favorite. She needed to make sure she looked just right! That also might help her be remembered by her teachers as more than just one of the “Crawford 5”. She hollered on the other side of the bathroom door and told her older sister Avery that she had to get in the bathroom immediately as she had stomach pains. Avery reluctantly opened the door and got out. Before she was even fully out of the door frame, Kennedy squeezed past her and slammed and locked the door. Now that she had the bathroom to herself she could get ready just the way she wanted. This was the first of many, many lies. Kennedy learned that if you said you didn’t feel well, you would get special attention from parents and teachers. Any time she craved attention or affection, she would hold her forehead to a heater or run around and make her face red and then say it was due to not feeling well. Soon enough, parents and teachers stopped what they were doing to swoon over her.

If we fast forward a few years, as she entered college, Kennedy began to weave further lies about people other than herself to get extensions on assignments, an offer for special extra credit and even a placement on the cheer team. When Kennedy tried out for cheer, she initially didn’t make the cut to be on the team. When the cheer coach told her, Kennedy made herself cry and made up a lie that her mom had been sick and she was worried about her and therefore unable to fully focus on her tryout. The coach felt bad for her and allowed her onto the team. When applying to college, the admissions essay requested exploring a hardship one had overcome. Kennedy found herself fabricating an extreme exaggeration of a very minor incident that happened.

One day after school, a friend of hers came over so they could help one another edit their essays. When Kennedy’s friend confronted her on how ingenuine her essay was, Kennedy became red in the face and found it impossible to make excuses for why she had written what she did. Kennedy’s friend then stated that she did not want to maintain a friendship with someone who was so comfortable with lying. She challenged Kennedy that if she was content with lying for something as important as college admissions, she did not care to find out what other things Kennedy would be okay lying about. When her friend left, Kennedy sat there in contemplation on how to untangle the mess she made but felt too far gone. It was then that she accepted that a life of lies was the bed she made for herself and was now being forced to lay in.

The web of lies continued to grow well into her adult life. The sad reality is that at this point, Kennedy herself no longer knows what the truth is. She has lost all genuine characteristics she once had and now truly believes that lying and prescribing to the ideas that she thinks are best is the only way to be successful. Kennedy has had a falling out with all of her closest friends and relatives who all have told her that her company is not one they would like to keep. Her hometown is a small, close-knit community and if trust and truth are not foundations one operates on, the community will not have it as it will destroy the very foundation of values they created. 

When she was a young child, Kennedy could make friends wherever she went. For birthday parties, her favorite thing to do was pick out favors for all of those who attended. She loved being generous and caring. When her lies started, she lost all of her friends. Kennedy had no one in her life for whom she could rely on for support. It is a dark and lonely life when you have dug a hole for yourself so deep that you see no way out. 

At the height of her problem, Kennedy was alone on a vacation at the beach. She found herself unable to start conversations with passerbys about even the simplest of things. Kennedy was finally starting to see that this life she had created was not a good one. She continued to sit on the beach, staring at the waves crash against the shoreline and allowed herself to begin to come to terms with all the lies she had said over time. She remembered how happy and carefree she felt in her younger years before this full-time job of fabricating stories and lies took everything over. Kennedy found herself crying and smiling at various times as she sat there on the beach. She wanted to feel that freedom, that virtue again. She took out her phone from her bag and opened a notes document. There she began to write a list of all of the people she needed to make amends with. She tried to write out all of the lies she had told but there were just too many. Kennedy resolved with herself then and there that she was willing to do whatever it took to earn the forgiveness and acceptance of those she once held so close.

Upon returning home, Kennedy got help from a therapist and began to make her amends. Though hesitant at first, her family began to slowly let Kennedy back into their lives, though they were all guarded initially. Kennedy spent a lot of time re-figuring out who she was, the things she enjoyed doing, the company she liked to keep. She was essentially building back from square one but the hope of having a normal, truth seeking and truth telling life was a force that pulled her through.

Kennedy now has a podcast where she inspires people from all over on the importance of telling the truth. She is very transparent in her journey which allows leverage with those who may be struggling with the same past she once held. Her most recent podcast episode ended with her saying “Let this story serve as a lesson. Though the road where you tell the truth may be longer and the goals you may be trying to achieve may take longer to get to, the journey will be a much more optimistic one. When you live a life of truth, you can feel good about the steps you are taking and you have by your side to share the experience with. As the old adage goes, the truth will truly set you free. “