The Robot

Life had been good to Claudia. She’d never married or had kids but was friendly with her area's local children, neighbours, cats and dogs. She’d bought a cosy two-bedroom bungalow when she’d retired. Her tranquil property provided a peaceful sanctuary and was adorned with a quaint front garden enclosed by a low wall and a hedge. At the back of the property was a verdant backyard with many colourful blooms in large pots. 

Celebrating her 82nd year, Claudia's untroubled life was abruptly shattered when a misstep on a rogue paving stone sent her tumbling. As fate would have it, this stumble landed her in a hospital bed, where the verdict was a dire need for a hip replacement. The prospect of returning home loomed, but with it came the necessity of a caretaker to navigate her convalescence.

 ********

As the ambulance arrived at Claudia’s bungalow, the carer allocated to her was waiting at the front door. The carer was an overweight woman in her fifties called Audrey, and although a fully qualified carer, Claudia immediately sensed she didn’t seem to like her job too much. As Claudia was pushed up the garden path by one of the ambulance team, Audrey’s testy face and unfriendly body language greeted her. It only took a while before Audrey could be heard tutting and moaning. Claudia was handed over to the ministrations of the unpleasant carer, and the ambulance drove off.

Audrey wore her discontentment like a shroud and exuded an aura of disdain that matched her sour countenance. Claudia's attempts at friendship were met with curt retorts and overtly negative responses.

‘I hope you don’t think I’ll be staying overnight with you?’ she snapped, placing her unpleasant face close to Claudia’s in an intimidating manner.

“I don’t think anything, Audrey; I’ve never had a carer. You do what is normally expected of you, and I assure you I’ll be grateful.” Claudia smiled encouragingly.

“Well, fine, I’ll have to put you in bed early because I have many other clients to look after and obviously can’t stay with you for too long,” said the waspish Audrey.

*********

Once Audrey had left Claudia sitting up in bed in the increasingly darkened bedroom, the immobile patient watched the wall clock as the hour hand slowly moved from one hour to another. Claudia realised that she was stranded in the bedroom without sustenance or the ability to use the bathroom. “This isn’t going to be easy”, Claudia thought. “I must organise myself better and arrange with Audrey how I will manage when she goes home.”  As she sat in the pitch-dark bedroom, she almost started to cry. She immediately pulled herself together and told herself off. “Don’t be so sorry for yourself, Claudia. Audrey has many more people in greater need than you, so don’t be selfish.”

Claudia straightened herself in bed and strained to hear a little clearer. She felt sure she could hear a gentle whirring noise heading for her bedroom door. As her heart began to thump, she stiffened as she sat in isolation in the pitch dark. The whirring noise arrived outside her bedroom door, and surprisingly, she heard a pleasant male voice calling to her.  

“Claudia, I hope I haven’t frightened you; it’s me, Rob, the robot sweeper. Can I help you at all?”

“Who?”

“Rob - I sweep your floor. I’ve got some help from the kitchen appliances, and we’d like to see how we can help. Can we come in?”

The bedroom was suddenly flooded with light. Claudia couldn’t believe her eyes. There was the robot sweeper, a mop and the floor brush. The mop, being the tallest, had switched the lights on.

Claudia was intrigued, and although she felt sure she was hallucinating, she welcomed Rob and his cohorts, the mop and the brush. She thanked them profusely for letting her use them as crutches and, despite the struggle, transferred herself to the wheelchair. 

“Audrey isn’t very nice, so we’ve decided to help look after you. Don’t tell Audrey, will you, Claudia?” said Rob conspiratorially.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Rob, " said Claudia, laughing and thinking, "Am I really chatting to a robot sweeper?”.

************

After the bathroom visit, Rob asked solicitously, “Can we get you a drink and something - toast perhaps - to eat?”

“What about a coffee or tea?” two girlish voices shouted from the kitchen.

“That’s Connie Coffee and Theresa Tea. I think these two ladies will become close friends of yours. Timmy Toaster will meet your bread requirements, and I’ll sweep up any crumbs afterwards with the help of Bruce Brush and Millie Mop.”

***********

As the hours passed and the night began to turn slowly to day, Claudia was amazed at how quickly she had found solace in the camaraderie of her newfound companions. Connie Coffee and Theresa Tea were imbued with warmth and companionship, while Timmy Toaster stood ready to fulfil any bakery culinary cravings as often as needed. Rob whirred around, ensuring all crumbs were rapidly swept up, and Bruce Broom and Millie Mop helped ensure that the kitchen was gleaming. These strange friends formed a makeshift family, a beacon of light amidst the shadows of hip rehabilitation.

When Audrey arrived the following morning, Claudia was tucked up in bed. It seemed that Audrey was either stupid or didn’t care how her patient had managed to get to the toilet or whether she had consumed any liquids or food since arriving home from the hospital yesterday.

Resentfully, Audrey pushed Claudia into her chair and then to the kitchen. Surprisingly, a begrudgingly made coffee appeared in front of Claudia, and she soon realised she only had the coffee because Audrey had other furtive things to attend to. Leaving Claudia alone in the kitchen, Audrey disappeared into the sitting room, and Claudia could hear all her cupboards and drawers being opened and closed.  

Claudia shouted, “Audrey, can I help you find whatever you are searching for?”.  

Claudia heard Audrey’s big feet thumping into the kitchen. Audrey stared with loathing at Claudia and started to make her habitual low-moaning sighs and tuts.

“Is there something wrong, Audrey?” said Claudia, 

“I was simply trying to tidy your sitting room. You people have no idea how much work you cause,” said Audrey venomously.  

As Audrey thumped around the kitchen, opening cupboards, she seemed to get angrier and angrier, and the usual peaceful sanctity of Claudia’s home was becoming a distant memory. Claudia looked helplessly at the robot sweeper and the broom, who remained perfectly still and quiet. The mop suddenly slid down the wall, clattering as it landed. Audrey picked up the mop, shouting and shaking it as if she almost knew that Milly was a sentient being. Claudia suddenly found strength in this face of adversity and heard her strong, clear voice say:

“Audrey, I know you’re doing your best, but I’m a woman who usually lives on her own, and because you find me “difficult”, you keep losing your temper, and I don’t like being shouted at or watching you mistreat my broom. You will break it. I think this isn’t working too well. My friends have said they will look after me until I am up on my feet again.”

Surprisingly, Audrey didn’t seem to like that she was being sacked. Audrey’s venom spat out, and her shriek began to reach its crescendo until Claudia firmly persuaded Audrey to leave. Claudia's admirable resilience, backed up by her silent, supportive appliances, seemed to have conquered Audrey’s unpleasant, aggressive personality. They heard the front door slam behind Audrey’s rapidly disappearing broad, expansive back, and every appliance in the kitchen cheered.

**************

Despite recovering from a replacement hip operation and only being able to move around in a wheelchair, Claudia’s new life was fun. It consisted of a good night’s sleep in her neat and clean bedroom, and as she moved around in her chair, she would hear Connie happily making her a lovely coffee. Meanwhile, Timmy Toaster was busily sorting the bread to be toasted. Rob, the sweeper, was now sweeping the kitchen and the hall as he had already done the bedroom and bathroom area a little earlier. The house was full of laughter, noise, and the delicious smells of coffee and toast. After all the cores were done, Claudia and her new friends would spend the rest of the day telling jokes or listening to plays on the radio.  

After the last visit, Audrey had yet to be seen or heard from, and they assumed she had been sacked. The hospital never rang to find out how things were going, so Claudia and the appliances just enjoyed themselves entertaining each other. Loud hoots of laughter could be heard regularly coming from within the bungalow. After a few days, Claudia’s human friends began to visit, and because the house looked so clean and cared for and Claudia’s physicality noticeably improved, no one thought to ask how Claudia was managing. If visitors arrived, all the appliances kept perfectly still and quiet so that by the time the human friends had gone, no one was any wiser about Claudia and her appliances.

***********

Joan, the Estate Agent and her two excited clients pulled up outside the badly overgrown front garden. The front door and the rickety gate needed a good paint job to be restored to their former glory, and the windows were covered in a thick sheet of grime.

As Joan opened the door to expose the inside of the house, she revealed a house that seemed strangely clean and polished compared to its exterior.  Joan sniffed and said, “It’s funny; I always think I can smell fresh coffee and toast as I walk in”. 

Derek, one of the potential buyers, said: “I can smell it too. It’s a lovely, homely smell that is very welcoming. I’m surprised by how clean everything looks”.

“Yes”, mused Joan, “it’s always clean - some houses are surprisingly dust-free.”

“Remind me. How did she die?” asked Derek’s partner Ian.

The Estate Agent hesitated and then shrugged her shoulders. “Ah, mmm, what the hell it was in all the newspapers. Not a very pleasant story, and I hope it doesn’t put off potential buyers.”

“No, we’ve already heard about it, but we just wanted to hear your take on it”.

 “Audrey, Claudia’s carer, tried to murder her. But surprisingly, for a bedridden old lady, she seemed to have tried to defend herself heroically to the end. The carer was found beaten to death, presumably by Claudia, using a broom and mop. 

“Although Claudia died of a heart attack in the ambulance on the way to hospital, the Inquest said it was obvious Audrey had attacked her. It seems that Audrey had broken into the house in the middle of the night, and when they checked her numerous bags, they found money, jewellery and anything that could be sold. Audrey, the carer, was an unpleasant woman, and previous clients who attended the Inquest all related their horror stories at the hands of Audrey. She’d also helped herself to past clients’ money and valuables. It makes me shudder to think that a carer would do this.”  

“Did Claudia manage to call the ambulance?” asked Ian.

“No, there’s a twist. One of Claudia’s friends received a phone call from a man. He didn’t say who he was but had used Claudia’s phone. He told the friend that Claudia needed an ambulance urgently and to ring the police because of a break-in at Claudia’s house. He has never been located, and her friends were unable to help the police as they had no idea that Claudia had a male friend. 

Anyway, I hope none of this puts you off buying the place.”

“No, despite its history, it’s a lovely place. Well looked after and loved. 

“Everything in the house is included in the selling price.”, said the Estate Agent.

“Even all the electrical equipment - the robot sweeper, coffee maker, toaster, etc?” asked Derek, looking thrilled.