Confidence

It was a cold winter day in Indiana. Two young women met at their favorite cafe. It was warm inside, and the aroma of espresso lingered in the air. They walked over to their usual table and sat down. Soon, they ordered their usual drinks. This was their typical everyday life. 

One of the girls, Ryn, lost in thought, began to wonder about the approaching new year. Who did she want to be? What did she want to do? New Years is a time to reinvent yourself and set goals. She could focus on getting a promotion at work, or to become more active in the community. Trying to picture herself in ten years, she thinks about who she wants to be at that time. 

Ryn wants to be kind, and smart. She wants to be gentle and forgiving. Success is something that she has always strived for, and the word at work is that they are looking for someone to move up to partner at the company. Maybe she should just go for something easy, that she knows she can achieve. 

The waiter interrupts Ryn’s thoughts, to give the girls their order. The latte art is in the shape of a heart, and she looks to see who the barista is that day. It is Cam. He is so cute, and she wishes that she could have the nerve to talk to him. He always seems so nice, and he smiles at her every time she comes in, but that is just his job. Sighing to herself, she looks at her best friend, Lilly, and asks her what her new year's resolution is. Lilly says she does not believe in resolutions. People do not change just because of a certain day of the year. As she rants about it not being an actual holiday, Ryn drifts back into her thoughts.

Ryn does not think about resolutions or holidays, she thinks about Cam. She thinks about the way he probably smells like coffee, and the way that his smile melts her inside. How could a man like that, ever think twice about someone like her? She knows that she should not think this way. That she is perfect the way she is, but she does not feel like it. Ryn is very self conscious and not your typical beautiful woman. She has black hair, and brown eyes. She is very pale, and not the skinniest woman you will ever meet. Not to say that she was not pretty, she just did not think of herself as beautiful. 

The longer Ryn’s mind drifted the more erotic her thoughts of him became. Soon she was blushing so hard that Lilly interrupted to ask her what she was thinking about, but she already knew that it was Cam. Ryn had been into him since they started coming to this cozy cafe three years ago. She was always daydreaming about him, but would not say a single word to him. She just lacked the confidence to go up to him. 

One time Ryn went up to talk to him, but lost her nerve at the last possible second. She ended up just grabbing napkins off the counter, before half-running, half-stumbling back to the table. Another time, she went up to the counter, and got so flustered that she dropped her latte, and Cam had to make her a new one. The most embarrassing was probably when she went to walk up to the counter, and tripped over nothing. She face planted hard, and had a black eye for a week from the incident. 

Lilly lets out a chuckle, and tells Ryn that she should go talk to him. She knows that Ryn will never go up there on her own, but maybe with a little nudging she will finally get the nerve to ask Cam out! Ryn just looks down at her untouched latte. The heart is disappearing already, but the drink is still piping hot. She sets it down, and checks her work email. Seeing that she has no unread emails, she logs back off. The disappointment sets in and she wonders who will get the big promotion. It probably will not be her. There are so many people working in the company, and she does not want to get her hopes up. 

Eventually, she drifts back to New Year's. Ryn has no clue what to make her resolution, so she looks up some ideas online. She does not like any of them. Ryn is not a party girl. She does not smoke, drink, or do any drugs. In fact, she is twenty-four and has never even been kissed before! She goes to work and the cafe. If she is not at either of those places she is at home. She spends her nights curled up in front of the television watching scary movies. Her life is pretty simple, and easy to follow. She does not adventure out like Lilly does. Ryn prefers her quiet nights alone. 

Ryn thinks that maybe she should resolve to be more adventurous, but decides against it on account of living in such a big city where so many bad things could happen. She thinks about pursuing singing more seriously, but her stage fright is far too bad for that. She would surely freeze up in front of all those people. She can barely do a presentation at work in front of her coworkers! She could take a makeup class, but she can not guarantee that she can always be there. She does not want to waste the money on a class that she can not attend. 

Suddenly, Cam catches her eye again. He is staring directly at her, and she blushes a deep red. Seeing her face in that shade makes him smirk. Ryn tries to look away, but can not seem to take her eyes off of him. He is just so breathtaking. In that moment she decides what her resolution will be. The one thing she wants more than anything in the world. She is going to talk to Cam. All she needs is a little confidence.