Keep the story coming

Keep the Story Coming

           I was sitting on my couch, wondering whether I should give her a call when I hear a sudden loud noise. There was a bang, bang, bang on the door of my apartment. I knew that it would be Dwayne. His apartment is right beside mine, and when he gets angry he often knocks on my door forcing me to listen to the story of why he is angry. I had a dark thought about what he might be angry about, but I still went and opened the door to let him in.

           “That bloody brother of yours, I am going to give him the beating of his life. He will learn to regret what I heard he did at the bar the other night, and who he did it with . I can’t believe he had the nerve to do that in plain sight.”

           I knew that I had to start telling him a story, and keep it going until he settled down.

           “Speaking of the bar, I’ve got to tell you about the funny thing that happened there two nights ago. You’ll laugh.”

           “Okay, tell me the story, but keep it short. I don’t want to be distracted from my anger. Dave has to experience it at full force.”

           I began with a story, totally made up about Ralph, someone I know that he really didn’t like. I made it as elaborate a telling as I could, only slowly coming to the climax of Ralph being hit by the washroom door square in the face (it goes both ways). Dwayne didn’t quite laugh, but there was something approaching a smile that slightly turned up the far corners of his mouth.

           Then, before Dwayne got a chance to leave my apartment and punch out my brother, I continued my tale telling with, “And that’s not all. You know Fat Frank don’t you?” He nodded his head. “Well fat Frank was dancing to the music as he walked towards the washroom, holding a bottle of beer up high in his right hand like it was his guiding light. You can picture it right? Well, imagine what happened next. I know you can. Picture it. Fat Frank tripped over Ralph and squashed him like a bug. Everyone laughed and laughed. I near peed myself.”

           Dwayne’s face came closer to what could be called a smile than it had after the first part of my story. I repeated my “And that’s not all.”  He looked to be hooked into my story telling.

           “Well, you know that Fat Frank has a girlfriend called Wide Wanda?” Dwayne nodded eagerly. “She walked as fast as she could waddle, over to the scene of the accident, shouting her concern for her boyfriend. Well, sure enough, she slipped on the beer that Fat Frank had spilled on the floor and collided with Fat Frank, just as the big guy was halfway up to a standing position. There were laughs all around the bar.”

           This time Dwayne actually laughed almost out loud. I could tell that pictures born of my story were appearing in his mind’s eye, and that he was totally enjoying what he saw on his inner screen. I was getting closer to the part of the story, another lie, that I felt I would be able to tell him without any repercussions.

           “Then slowly, awkwardly Wide Wanda and then Fat Frank got to their feet. Fortunately, my brother was there to help them up”. I saw a frown return to Dwayne’s face, so I moved quickly to the next part of my tale. :He didn’t help Ralph though, because he really doesn’t like him any more than you do.”

           Then my brother walked back to his table where a woman I hadn’t ever seen before was applauding him for what he had done, and maybe for what he hadn’t done, because few people like Ralph. She looked a bit familiar, and then I realized that she looked something like your girlfriend Wendy. Not near as pretty though, but similar enough to Wendy that if you had a few too many beers, you might mistake her for Wendy.”

           There, I had just planted a seed of doubt concerning what he had been told that had made him so angry. There was a look of puzzlement that took over a large part of Dwayne’s face. He looked like he was thinking, or as close to it as he could reach without help.

           Then he shook his head, and said, “I think that I was a little hasty concerning what I was going to do to your twin brother. You can’t believe everything that people tell you.” I thought, ‘That is certainly true buddy’.

           “Well, I think that I will go back to my apartment. Thanks for telling me your story, especially that last part.”

           We then shook hands, his being much bigger and stronger than mine. I was glad to know that no one in my family would be on the receiving end of a blow from those large hands.

           He walked out, and I closed and quickly locked the door. I then went over to my phone to make the first of two calls I simply had to make.

           First there was my look-alike twin brother Dave. I told him what Dwayne had thought about him, and what he was going to do him for his alleged fooling around with Dwayne’s girlfriend. Then I said that I invented a story to take away the threat. I told him about the story I had spun to fool Dwayne. He laughed at the funny bits, and told me that he was glad to hear that I had convinced the big guy that the woman he was allegedly with was not Dwayne’s girlfriend.

           Then there was question on his face, which was soon spoken. “But didn’t I see you with someone who looked a lot like Wendy one night coming out of that other bar?”

           “No you did not. The person you saw me with was Wendy. You see, the two of us were both being drunk and foolish in a bar where no one we know goes to. I didn’t know that you saw the two of us together, and someone who knows Dwayne must have as well.. I’ll have to hang up now, brother, and give Wendy a quick call to tell her what the three of us were able to escape, due to my story-telling ability and Frank’s gullibility. I don’t think that I can take a chance like that again.