A Quest for Control

“Come on Zaz, pleeeease, I just need a little!!” Quinn begged, fidgeting with the pearl charm on the necklace her mother had given her. “Quinn, I told you I don't have it and even if I did I wouldn't give you any,” Zaz said calmly. “You have to have it! You have every spice, herb, fungi, and ingredient that has ever existed in the whole history of witchcraft!” Quinn shouted. Zaz gave one of her notorious looks. Quinn lowered her voice, “It’s just a small spell, I can handle it.” Zaz blew out a heavy sigh and leaned against the cash register. It was an old vintage one, full of character. The top was decorated with intricate swirling designs engraved on the silver metal. It was corroded in places and sometimes the drawer needed a thump to get it to slide out. Quinn thought to herself that Zaz was like her cash register, old, full of character, and sometimes needed a little persuading. 

Quinn needed this ingredient for tonight, she had foolishly assumed Zaz’s sizable collection of magical ingredients would have Wisproot. Zaz said sternly, “Despite the size of my collection, I don't have your ingredient and you still need to learn to control your magic.” Quinn looked down at her salt-crusted boots so Zaz wouldn't see her cheeks turn bright red. 

After an awkward pause, Zaz broke the silence gently asking. “Are you going trick-or-treating tonight?” “No,” Quinn said, still avoiding looking Zaz in the eyes. “Halloween used to be your Mom's favorite holiday, you know, she loved dressing up with you when you were little. I remember the year you wanted to be a “human” while all the other girls dressed up as witches, she got a real kick from that.” Quinn smiled with a soft sadness trying to hide the real pain of the loss. Since her mother died everything had changed, it felt as if her favorite color had been stripped from the world and now everything was just – off. 

For the past several months Zaz had been trying to help Quinn gain control of her magic again, but it felt useless trying. How could Quinn possibly do that when the hole her mother left felt so big. Quinn thought if she could just see her one more time, could talk to her again, then everything would be better. At first, the idea of ever seeing her again seemed impossible, until she discovered an ancient, powerful spell that could bring back the spirit of the dead for one night, the night of All Hallows Eve. Quinn had gotten everything ready for tonight, she had stashed her supplies in a secret location and had gotten all the ingredients except for one simple herb, wisproot. She was so close to being able to see her mother again, she couldn't let this set-back ruin her chance. 

“I have to go,” Quinn said abruptly. Zaz pursed her lips and said, “Fine but don't try using any magic tonight it will be amplified by all the energy on Halloween and tonight's full moon.” Quinn waved her left hand in the air brushing aside any notion that she would even consider doing magic and crossed her other fingers behind her back -“Pfft of course, I'll be safe I promise” 

As Quinn walked out the shop and onto Main Street she called out “Toast! Toast come on we gotta go!” and with that, a scruffy disgruntled seagull wearing a little red beanie flew down and perched on her arm. “She doesn't have the Wisproot, we're gonna have to get it from somewhere else.” Toast just squawked and tilted his head in response. “Good idea, Toast! We can check the community garden, Mom and I planted some magic herbs down there a while back, maybe one of them is Wisproot!” 

Quinn bent over the garden gate wheezing and out of breath. She hadn't been to one of Rhode Island’s Community Gardens since her mother died. The cold of October left most of the plots shriveled and bare. She walked down the path counting one, five, thirteen rows back, the witching number. She knelt in the soil to read the plants’ labels. “Shadowfern, bluethistle, frostmire-bloom, aha! wisproot” But all that was there was a dirt hole. Quinn looked in disbelief, who would want to take a whole cluster of wisproot? Quinn grunted with frustration. 

It felt like the universe was against her, as if the thief took it to foil her plan… the realization hit her like a slap to the face. “Zaz took the wisproot” she whispered through clenched teeth. Zaz didn't think Quinn could handle the spell, so she lied about having it in her collection and dug up the only other plant for miles. Quinn scraped up handfuls of half-frozen dirt squeezing it in her fists, the mud stuffed under her nails, and the cold made her hands numb, but she didn't care. She couldn’t believe Zaz would betray her like that. She hurled the dirt and let out a scream that cut through the garden like a boat sailing up-wind. 

Quinn walked out of the garden with a newfound determination. If Zaz wasn't going to give her the wisproot, she would just have to take it herself.

“Zaz closes the shop soon,” Quinn said. “She keeps a spare key tucked under the awning, It's high up so the only way to reach it is to levitate it down.”  Quinn stopped in her tracks trying to think of a non magic solution. She looked down at Toast, who was hopping down the sidewalk struggling to keep up. She grined. “Thankfully I have you.”

As she rounded the corner she saw Zaz standing outside locking the door for the night. Quinn quickly turned back around the bend, hugging the wall. After a moment she peered around to see Zaz walking in the opposite direction, and waited until she was out of sight. It was dark inside, but she could see through the window the shapes of the shelves lined with tonics and salves, along with dream catchers and scrap sculptures Zaz had crafted. Quinn picked up Toast and gave him a boost to the awning. He flaped his way up and dug around in the fabric until the key fell. “Yes!,” Quinn cheered. As she slid into the shop she whispered, “Stay here Toast.” Zaz had told her many times “no birds in the shop!” Quinn had been here thousands of times. It was like a second home but this time she felt out of place.

She crept into the back room where Zaz brewed all her positions and stored her supplies. Quinn found bottles, dried herbs, and pickled things. She checked the left corner where the roots were stored - but nothing. Then in the bottom middle where there was a cluster of purple ingredients - still nothing. She checked labels starting with the letter W, and bottles of dried and crushed herbs. She checked serums, and pickling jars, but there was nothing, not a single Wisproot. “No, no, nononono!” Quinn began to panic, Zaz wasn’t lying she didn't have any wisproot. 

Quinn paced the room fidgeting with her mother’s necklace. It reminded her of the time she was baking full moon cookies with her mother, they were out of sugar so they used some honey as a replacement, maybe she could use a substitute ingredient for the spell! Zaz always said magic is a combination of precise science, and intuition. Quinn would have to hope that her intuition would be enough. Wisproot was used in the spell to make the spirit solidify in the living world, so perhaps rootbound, a mushroom known for its mycelium that wraps around tree roots and is often used to connect oneself with the earth, would work as an alternative. She grabbed a vial and ran out of the shop, knowing she was beginning to run out of time. 

Trick-or-treaters were mobbing the streets. Quinn tried to weave through the crowds but she was slowed down by the bustling bodies. Under the brick arches of the fire station on Main street, volunteers were handing out candy and playing Halloween games. It was swarming with a large group of sugar-high kids. There was no way around it, Quinn would have to go through. 

She navigated her way through until she was stuck in the heart of the crowd. She tried pushing by, but was tripped up by the excited children. She fell hard on the asphalt, her hands scraped by the loose gravel. She stood up and reached to feel her mother's necklace, only to find it had fallen off in the crowd. 

She got back on the ground and started searching frantically. A sea of storming shoes had swept away her treasure, she could feel her breath speeding up, her head was spinning, she couldn’t think, only feel the overwhelming sense of panic and rage sweeping her under. Toast scampered close to her, nuzzling himself under her arm trying to comfort her. Quinn pushed him away. “I don't have time for this.” Realizing midnight was coming quickly, she stood and plowed through the crowd not caring who she elbowed or stepped on. She was fueled with the most powerful drive, desperation. 

Quinn sprinted back down the hill to the club and marina. She ran up to the little shelter by the docks where Kipper the marina's launch driver was packing up for the night. “Kipper!” Quinn called out. Kipper was about Quinn's age, they had seen each other around when Kipper was working odd jobs like delivering pizza for Twisted, lifeguarding at Goddard beach, and driving the launch boat at the marina. Sure, he seemed to like Quinn and would always try to talk with her when she was around, but she wouldn't consider him a friend, just an… acquaintance, and a useful one at that. “Kipper!!!” Quinn called again. This time he poked his head out from the little shack. At first, he looked confused but his face quickly lit up when he realized it was Quinn. “Kipper, I need you to take me out to the hidden cove out on Goddard.” Quinn told him as she ran towards Patience the launch boat. “But, uh, the launch is closed for the night, plus I'm not supposed to take it out of the harbor,” Kipper said, running his hand through his messy dark hair. “Kipper, just do it!” Quinn yelled,“It's really important, and I need to get there now, there's no time to walk down there” “I.. uh I….” he stammered. Quinn stomped back up the docs standing face to face with Kipper “If you won't take me I'll just go myself, " and she reached behind him to grab the keys hanging in the shed. “Fine. But only for you Quinn”, Kipper said with a sigh. Quinn knew he would do it, he was like a puppy, she thought, too loyal and giving for his own good. 

Kipper grabbed the keys and hurried down to the boat. He revved the engine to a quiet rumble and crept the boat out of Greenwich Cove. Once he passed the red marker buoy he sped up leaving a trail of wake behind them. Quinn sat in silent determination, her hands clenched in fists. Kipper looked back and asked, “So what's this super important midnight outting about?” Quinn looked him up and down, she wasn't in the mood, “It's none of your business” she replied coldly.  “Oh,” Kipper said, her words a stab in the gut. “ok,” he said looking back towards the bow of the boat. 

They rode in silence until the boat had gone past the main beachfront and then around the bend to a more secluded peninsula. “This is as close as I can get without beaching the boat” Kipper said. “Kipper, I need to do this alone.” Quinn snipped.  “Ok, I get it.” he said “No, you don't!” Quinn muttered without looking back. He waited to make sure she got to land then pulled the boat out and drove away. 

She pulled a cauldron, which she had stuffed with ingredients and a spell book, out from behind a shrub, gathered the timber she had stashed, and lit a fire below the pot. The beach was illuminated by the large full moon sitting in her throne of black night sky. The amber glow of the fire reflected on Quinn’s face while she toiled away at her brew. She tossed in ingredient after ingredient, each one diving into the cauldron with a splash. 

As her potion grew the swirling pulsing magic around her grew too. Wispy blue and indigo tendrils reached up towards the heavens and a luminous fog lingered across the sand. Quinn began to recite the enchantment written in the spell book. Her hands shook but her voice remained steady. The spell grew stronger and the beach was now covered with zapping, buzzing magic. Quinn was sweating and her whole body was trembling from the weight of the spell.

She squinted through the fog to see a figure emerging from the mist. It was her mother. The spell was working. She could almost see her face, only her mother didn't have a face, she was a silhouette of blue smoke. Quinn reached in her pocket and pulled out the vial of rootbond. She tossed it in the pot and the magic swooshed out angrily. Blue and purple swirls turned dark and red. The buzz of magic became a roar as powerful tentacles of light and smoke lunged up. 

The spell was going wrong. Quinn clenched her fits in the air trying to hold it all together. Amidst the chaos she heard the engine of a boat speeding towards the beach. She glanced over to see Zaz and Kipper wading through the water calling her name. “NO!” Quinn shouted she couldn’t let them ruin this. Her ghostly mother was right there growing closer and closer. “Quinn!!!” her friends yelled. They pushed against the tornado of magic and sand gaining ground faster than her mother was. “AUUAHHHGHH” Quinn howled. Using one hand to hold the spell she shot out her other towards the pair sending red zapping coils towards them. They wrapped around them, holding them up in the air. She looked back to see the shadow of her mother flicker. She refocused her concentration on the spell, frantically throwing ingredients in the cauldron, hoping something would work. Her mother was standing so close now she reached out her hand towards Quinn. 

Just then a bell rang out in the distance. BONG, BONG, BONG. It chimed twelve times, midnight. Her mother evaporated, the smoke dispersing out in all directions. It was over. She failed. Quinn fell to her knees, hot tears running down her cheeks landing in the sand. Her mother was gone. She had tried to control her magic but she couldn’t, she couldn’t bring her back. She felt all alone. 

“SQUAWK” Quinn looked up to see Toast circling the others. She had been so quick to blame them for her failure, telling herself they were working against her, but this whole time they were trying to help. She had to make it right, she had to save them. Quinn turned and pushed the cauldron over. It spilled into the sand and sea dosing out the fire, but the magic still swirled and thrashed around them. She would have to control her magic. 

She reached out and touched the energy strands, the magic pulsed through her. She closed her eyes and tried to focus the magic into one strand of energy, it fought back ripping and curling refusing to be tamed. Quinn reached deep down inside of herself and saw a pool of golden liquid. She saw her reflection and her mother’s too. She dipped her hands into the pool reached in and pulled out a glowing crystal ball. It sparkled colors filled with memories, loss, growth, and love. She slowly opened her eyes and saw herself controlling all the wild magic into one silver strand. Lowering her friends safely to the ground she let her magic disperse into the night air. 

Zaz, Kipper, and Toast all came running towards her. Toast flew hard into her chest making her stumble back a step. She hugged him tight, then Zaz came up and embraced her too. She rested her head on Zaz’s shoulder and breathed in her familiar smell. Kipper placed a hand on her shoulder. Quinn had been so desperate to see her mother again she had been willing to push away love in pursuit of it. “How did you guys find me?” Quinn asked, looking around at their faces. Zaz replied, “It was getting late, so I went to the docks to look for you but found Kipper sitting by himself. He told me everything. “Yeah,” Quinn said embarrassed. This time she didn't hide her red cheeks instead she apologized for everything. 

When Quinn got home with Zaz she dragged herself exhausted to her room. Toast perched on the edge of her bed and looked at her with a head tilt. She looked at him and then down on her pillow where her mother’s necklaces was waiting for her. She smiled to herself and clasped it around her neck. “Thank you” she whispered as she let the soft medley of ocean waves sing her to sleep.