Who Let the Dog Out?

A Phone Call

"Hola."

"Papa?"

"Yes."

"I am sorry to bother you at work, but you have to come home right now. There is something wrong with Mom."

"What do you mean, 'something wrong'?"

"She is—I don’t know—broken."

"What are you talking about? If you kids would listen when she speaks, she wouldn’t yell as much."

"No, she is not yelling. That is what I am saying. She is not saying anything."

"You are not making any sense at all. What is she doing?"

"She is sitting at the breakfast nook—quietly."

"Look, Nina, I am very busy, and you are not making any sense. What is the emergency?"

"We are scared, Papa. Please come home now."

"Scared? Nina, there is no need to be scared. Your mother only raises her voice because she must have a clean house, and you don’t make it easy for her. Have you done your chores?"

"Yes, Papa. We did them when she sat down and got all quiet. She just watched us. We cleaned the floors, emptied the dishwasher, and picked up the living room after we let the dog in from the pool—"

"What was the dog doing out by the pool again? You know Rufus is not allowed there unless one of us supervises."

"We know, Papa. But this morning, we forgot, and we let the dog out to pee and then he came right back in. He had jumped in the pool, so he shook himself dry in the living room. Mama walked in on us. She opened her mouth, raised her finger to point, and then—stopped. She did not speak. She did not yell. She walked to the kitchen bar and sat down. I am not even sure she is breathing right now. Papa, please come home."

"I am on my way, Nina. Stay on the phone with me, okay?"

"Hurry, Papa. We are scared."

"What else happened this morning, Nina? Tell me everything, even if it doesn’t seem important."

"Well, Mama tried to wake us up, but we were tired. It took her three tries. She was yelling like normal. ‘Nina,’ she said, ‘you better get your ass up now. Don’t make me come up there.’ And we didn’t get up. So she said again, ‘If you don’t get up, I will make sure you never get up again.’ Then she came upstairs, and we jumped out of bed. ‘When you have kids, you’ll remember this moment,’ she said.

"Then we went downstairs. She yelled, ‘Don’t let the dog out. The pool is full of stagnant water. I don’t want him in it.’"

"And did you listen to her?"

"No, Papa. The dog wanted out. I thought it would be okay just for a moment, to let him pee, but he went straight for the pool and jumped in. We called him back right away, but he got past us and ran into the living room, shaking himself dry. I grabbed the throw off the couch to dry him—"

"Not the cashmere throw—"

"Yes, that one. But he got away and jumped from the couch to the chair and back again. Then he knocked over Mama’s vase, and Grandpa's picture fell off the wall."

"Oh, dear Lord. You kids are lucky to be alive."

"But that’s just it, Papa. She didn’t say anything. Her mouth opened, her finger pointed, her shoe came off—then nothing. She got real quiet. She walked to the kitchen island and sat down. She hasn’t moved since."

"I am right outside, Nina. I’ll be right in."

Another Phone Call

"Hola."

"Grandpa, you have to come over right now. Mom and Papa are acting really strange."

"Tell me what happened, Nina."

"Well, Papa came home to check on Mama, but when he opened the door, Rufus ran out and went straight for the pool. Papa gave chase and slipped in the mud because Nino left the hose running all night. When he finally came in with the dog, who got away again, he was covered in mud. That’s when it happened."

"What happened, Nina?"

"They started laughing. Papa sat down, and Mama reached over to wipe some mud out of his eye, and they both started laughing. They haven’t stopped since. It’s been a while now. Grandpa, we are scared."

“Right now, Nina, what are they doing?”

“Dad has put his head in his arms on the island. He is either still laughing or crying, but it is much softer now.”

“And your Momma?”

“She has her hand on his back and is staring quietly at the back of his head.”

"I’ll be right over, Nina. Stay quiet."

And Yet Another Phone Call

"Hello, Grandma’s house. State your emergency."

"Hola, this is Nina. I need help right now."

"Tell me what happened, Nina."

"I called Grandpa to come help with momma and pappa because they were acting strange and he came, but just as he was pulling into the drive, my little brother got into Papa’s car. Papa had left the door open and the car running after we called him because momma was acting strange. Nino backed into Grandpa's car. But Grandpa just ran inside to check on Mom and Pop. Then Rufus came running downstairs and knocked Grandpa into the big TV. Grandpa got up, looked around, and sat on the couch. He hasn’t moved since."

"Okay, Nina, I need you to do exactly as I say."

"Okay."

"Go to your Mama and Papa. They are sitting close to each other, right?"

"Yes."

"Put your mom’s hand in your pop’s hand."

"Okay. They stopped laughing."

"Good. Now go to your grandpa. Kiss his forehead and whisper, ‘I love you, Grandpa.’"

A moment of quiet.

Then—

"WHO LET THE DOG OUT AGAIN?!"

A crash. A bark. More shouting.

"Oh no! Rufus just knocked over the fruit bowl! Nino is screaming! Mom is yelling at Dad! Grandpa is yelling at Mom for yelling at Dad! Papa just told us we’re all grounded!"

Grandma chuckled. "Sounds like things are back to normal, huh?"

Nina sighed. "Yeah. Thanks."

"Anytime, sweetheart. Just remember—if they get stuck again, love is always the answer."

Click.