Familial Ties

Keeta pressed her laptop and power cord into the navy blue suitcase next her cell phone charger. The bag was already filled to the zipper line, but there was still something missing from its cache. Clothes, shoes, toiletries, electronics... She was not sure what exactly she had forgotten, but the the lack of--whatever it was--nagged at her.

She spun around to survey her bedroom. Everything she needed from the closet was already in the bag.The essentials from her desk had been removed and included amongst the clothes. All that was required for daily hygiene was bagged and the sizes checked to be sure they were TSA approved. So what am I missing?

Keeta stared at the neatly-packed--yet very full--wheeled bag. Nothing came to her. Oh well. If it was important her mom could send it to her or she could pick up a new one in Phoenix.

Phoenix. It felt weird going to a desert state. Keeta had never been out of the upper mid-west before. The reason for her going south was an even odder thought to absorb. Her mother wanted to see her.

Keeta winced. Even the term felt wrong in her head. Diane wanted to see her. That was the way she had always known the woman that had physically given birth to her. As her biological mother and nothing else, Diane would never be able to hold the hallowed title of mother. Lisa was her actual mother, the one that had raised her, cared for her, and loved her enough to stay through every up and down life threw at her. Diane had just left.

Ever since she was young Keeta had known the truth about her adoption. She had even sought to find Diane at the prodding of her mom, but every inquiry to the state had turned up empty. The only legal records Keeta had been able to find showed that Diane had state-hopping for several years before eventually disappearing into the Arizona desert with a camper and no address.

Keeta had given up the search after that. If Diane did not want to be found then nothing she could do would change that. At least, she had made the attempt. And, after all, Keeta already had a mother and a family she loved and did not need the other woman in her life.

Then a month ago--and three years after her search--Diane had popped up and asked after Keeta. Her wanderings in the desert to "find herself" had apparently stirred her desire to reconnect and now she wanted to be a part of Keeta's life. Keeta had initially dismissed her advances to make contact. She had already gone down that road and been ignored, so why would she want to pursue a relationship she really had no need for?

Her mom--Lisa--had coaxed and eventually convinced her to at least make an effort to reach out to other woman. "She's a part of you and always will be," she had told her, "even if she's not acted like family."

Her mother's words had hit Keeta like spaghetti on a wall and only part of it stuck. Yet as days turned into weeks Keeta had relented and made contact. The woman had snapped up the opportunity to reassert herself and their connection with enthusiasm--which made Keeta a little uncomfortable. Still, there was some sort of bond between them--even if only biological--and initial conversations had taken place.

The light chatter and superficial details had been manageable. Then last week Diane had asked to meet in person. It had taken both her mom and dad time to convince Keeta to make the trip to visit her.

So here she was packing and preparing to meet her other mother for the first time. The proposed plan was for her to fly out and get picked up by her dad's Uncle Milo. The man lived a few hours outside Phoenix and would be able to take her to a coffee shop so she could meet up with Diane. Although Keeta had never actually met Uncle Milo, somehow she felt she could trust him more than Diane. Each time she even thought about actually meeting the other woman she got chills--which could be a good or bad sign.

From the minimal correspondence she had had with Diane, Keeta assumed that the woman was nice and would behave in a civil manner, but there was no guarantee. People only showed others the side of them they wanted seen. They often hid all the negative parts and Diane was a good candidate for checking all the boxes for having a scary hidden past. Which was why Uncle Milo would be her room, board, chauffeur, and chaperone while in Phoenix.

With one last look at the packed suitcase, Keeta zipped the hard top closed. Footsteps echoed down the hall to her room and her mom poked her head in a moment later.

"How's it coming?" she asked.

Keeta pulled her hair into a ponytail and reached for a hair binder to hold it. "I feel like I'm missing something."

"Well, you've packed all of the essentials haven't you?"

"Yeah, and I have my phone and wallet sitting out, but I still feel like there's something else I should be taking with me."

Her mother gave her a gentle smile. "You'll be fine. Try not to be too nervous. Remember, you're not moving in with her. You're just going to meet her. If you decide it was a bad idea and you want to cut ties with her forever, that is your decision. We'll support you no matter what you choose." Her eyes were soft as she scanned Keeta's face. "Will you be all right?"

"Yeah."

"And you know that we love you very much."

Keeta nodded as her mom stepped into the room and gave her a hug.

"Nothing will ever change the way we feel about you, okay? Even if you decide you need to stay away longer to spend more time with her. We'll still support you."

"I know." She gave her mom another squeeze.

"Here." Her mom stepped back and handed her an envelope. "Maybe this will help with your nerves."

Keeta glanced at her mom as she opened the flap and pulled out a photograph. It was a print of their family--her family. Her mom, dad, older brother, and younger sister where all there huddled in a group smiling. This was her family. 

"I thought you might want to introduce Diane to your family. Just as she's a part of you and always will be; you are a part of us and that will never change."

She brushed her fingers down the side of Keeta's face with a smile and in that moment Keeta realized what it was that she had been missing--this picture. This was the piece she had neglected to pack, the part of her that needed to stay close as she made plans to reconnect with her past.

Without the support of her current family she would never be who she was today. They had helped her grow by taking her in yet Diane had to have shut her out for that to happen. Maybe there was more to it than one family over another. Maybe "family" could mean a great deal more than what she had a first thought.