Two Destinations

No answer; my heart is pounding. I am in a dark room at a doorway with light peaking through

The bottom. I can hear the echo as I asked the question. I have no recollection of how I got here. I don’t even know what my last memory was. I am not overly scared, but I am becoming anxious.

Just then I felt like I wasn’t alone; yet I couldn’t see anyone or anything. I helplessly probe my surroundings with desperately seeking hands.  My shaking hands meet partial resistance, like one would in water. My hand is warm, but not wet. “Who is here?” I gasped. “I am” called Vero.

“Who are you – what are you – what do you want?” “I am a spirit, sent to guide you temporarily.” “Like an angel?” I reasoned. “No. A spirit. I have no form.”

“Oh” I said. Thinking that didn’t clear up anything. It didn’t answer what I am doing here, or if I am even alive.

“You are!” Vero answered, seemingly able to read my thoughts. I am paralyzed with the

implication of speaking to a being with physical power (?). “Don’t be scared” Vero assured.

“You are everywhere and yet nowhere.” “How is that possible?” I questioned. “In this place

you can see all the Past, but no Future, and you can’t change a thing. For this is a place within a place, that only exists for its inhabitants.” 

The ambiguous nature of this place added an ominous element! “I want to go home!” I blurted, feeling vulnerable. “Home! What is a home for someone like you? Do you believe you can independently claim a home? Everywhere you go is borrowed by you. You own no home.”

I quickly recalled a sermon about Heaven being our true home, and not Earth. I slyly said to Vero that Heaven is my home. As soon as I did that, I felt myself being lifted in the air and simultaneously squeezed. This was uncomfortable, to say the least. I tried to push back with my arms, but it was futile. “Heaven! Ha! You didn’t live like Heaven is your home. Do you want me to show you your sins upon sins upon sins? Many mercies given and yet an animal you became. Even this place of interrogation is too good for you." When Vero said that, I felt a lifetime of guilt permeate my whole being, and was consumed by immense sorrow. Worse than that was the defeating thought that I can’t change what I did or who I am. Rather than be further shamed, I conceded my guilt.

I am guilty, but who isn’t? - my defense or deflection: “True, you are guilty, but many are not.”

“That’s impossible” I retorted. “Impossible for humans, but that is a low bar to pass. I have never sinned, and yes, Heaven is my home. Many mortals seek a place they can never understand, let alone appreciate.” “I suppose not.” 

“Do you have free will?” I turned the table on my questioner. “Like for everybody, the answer is both yes and no.  We freely choose, but are limited in what we can choose. We can never choose the consequences.” “What is my consequence?” I gulped. “Never ask a question that you aren’t prepared to have answered. The consequence for you is beyond detail, and even more than experience! The awareness alone will ravage you of any peace. No hope lives where you shall reside. An abode for rebels; a lost abyss for the independent. A vacuum for the strong willed, or sand storm for the self- pious.” Vero said coldly. Do you pleasure in torturing me?” “I have no emotions, and yours won’t negate the truth I tell.” he stated calmly.

“Your soul is in flux, and your spirit is wanting. You must be sent somewhere and I am here to take you there.” “To Hell?” I trembled, fearing there were no other options. “Hell? That is a bit of a human concept, but this place is almost that.  There is no peace in your new destination, no repentance.” “I repent now!” I begged. “It’s simply too late!” “How can that be? Why? What’s the point of that?” “Reason to me why you shouldn’t go where we all know you should.” Vero said flatly.

“God gave us the ability to reason and senses to understand our world. We were given the ability to think critically; it’s a must. Any disbelief on our part is a byproduct of our design. One we didn’t create.” “Intelligence does not negate faith.” Vero dismissed. “It doesn’t help!” I snapped back. “What doesn’t hep is pride that runs in tandem with intelligence. Your abilities or lack thereof are never the problem. You should humble yourself and be grateful for the gift of life!”

“Why? A gift is positive and isn’t conditional. This life is obscure and has many, many, many conditions. If it is a gift, I should be able to refuse it without penalty. Imagine I gave a child a toy truck and demanded it love me after. The child enjoys the truck, but gives me no credit. I then take the child and throw it into the fireplace. “That is foolish” Vero cut in.

“So you agree? Vero you must see Hell is a fireplace for children who don’t fawn over the gift giver. First of all, the child never asked for a truck; moreover, the child never asked to exist. If the price of life is an eternity in flames, then I freely ask to not receive this loaded gift.”

“It isn’t a foregone conclusion that one will go to Hell. It’s your choice. God has warned his creation from the beginning of time. Your blood is on your head. If one is deceived, it is because they chose the words of Satan. The choice was always clear. How many miracles must be shown foolish mankind? God is Love, and knows your heart. He is Just, and won’t permit Sin in Heaven. You know all this and yet don’t bow to our HOLY GOD!”

“My questioning why things are the way they are doesn’t take away from my love for God. If I ask it is because God created me curious and a bit obsessive. Back to the free gift with Hell price tag: the one no one can refuse. You also speak like there are only 2 destinations after our sentence on Earth. If one is obedient, one needs not worry about what God will or won’t do. You act like God doesn’t know your plight and your lack. You were created in his image and sent the Holy Spirit. If you want answers, pray, your faith will be rewarded. There is much I don’t know and I am curious of nothing. If God wants me to know this, I’ll know.”