Broken Heart, Who?

Imagine this, walking into your home and seeing your boyfriend sleeping with another woman. I walked in my home after a weekend down the shore with my friends and I saw him sleeping with his “best friend” he told me not to worry about. I was completely devastated, it took me about a year to get over him and to realize my worth. I realized that I don't need him, I realized that I don't need anybody to make me happy besides me, myself, and I. After I came to that realization I got a Tinder, started to see other guys, went on a bunch of dates but never found a real connection that everyone craves for. Everyone craves real love, affection, and a connection to the person they want and I was determined to find it but I couldn't. I started thinking about how I was looking way too hard for the connection that I wanted then I decided to step just back for a while. I decided to just stop looking because I don't need a boyfriend, I just wanted one because I was lonely and also wanted to fill a void in my heart. I decided after that point to stop looking for happiness within other people and to be just happy with myself. I started to take better care of myself and I deleted Tinder because I would get at least 20 messages a day asking if I wanted to just “hook up” but I wasn't going to do that because I'm not a “one night stand” type of person and mostly it is demeaning. I started to finally understand myself, I liked who I truly was, not who I pretended to be for a guy who never truly loved and understood me. I never will fully understand why someone would cheat on someone they are in a relationship with. If you don’t want to be “tied down” in a relationship then don’t be in one, youll spare so many people's feelings. I feel like if you want to cheat on someone that means that you don’t like them anymore (if you ever did in the first place). I find that it is much easier to tell someone that you're breaking up with them because you don’t feel the same and want to be with other people than just being secretive and cheating on someone who loves and trusts you. Don't be in a relationship if you are not going to give the person your all, they deserve your love, honesty, and support. I  completely stopped looking for a new boo and just went solo for a while and I decided that I am enough for myself. 

A few months down the road I got a new job at a movie theater. A few months after I got the job I was talking to the manager about my last relationship and how I have completely given up on men. After ranting about my ex for a while he came out and said “i'm having a party tonight at my place, you should come and let loose,” I agreed and after work I began to get ready. I put on a very low-cut sexy red dress that ended about 3 inches above the knees. I showed up “Fashionably late” and was greeted by my manager at the door. The first sentence out of his mouth was “you look very sexy, I have someone I’d like you to meet” so I went with it and met his friend. His friend was very attractive but he had a sort of, if I may say, douchey look to him and I wasn’t ready for all the bs I thought he was about to say. He was actually very sweet and I decided to give him a chance. We hung out all night and eventually we went back to his place when he did the unexpected. He came out and said, “I’m sorry if you assumed that I am a douche, I promise I am not. I’m actually a pretty cool guy and I don’t do one night stands by the way,” and I was shocked. I couldn't believe that he was an actual genuine guy who cared for people instead of using them for sex. He was very nice but he just got out of a relationship. He was in a 2 year relationship and they broke up about a month previously due to her cheating. I assured him that I would NEVER hurt him if anything happened between us because I know how it feels to be cheated on and to feel like you are just a piece of garbage that people just throw away and forget about. He believed me and gave us a chance and we started dating on July 15, 2015. He was the best boyfriend that I've ever had, he was very genuine and sweet, about 3 months into our relationship he met my family. Everyone in my family loved him so much, they were all happy for me that I finally found someone that they like. 

Fast forward to our anniversary 4 years later, July 15, 2019, he proposed to me! We were at the restaurant where we went on our first date. For dessert, the waiter brought out a cheesecake and on the plate was written “MARRY ME?” and as I saw that he got down on 1 knee and proposed to me. Yes, I hate my ex a lot but I thank him for breaking my heart. If it wasn't for my ex cheating on me then I would have never found my fiancé and I would never be planning a summer wedding. My family is beyond happy for me that I finally found someone to love me for who I am and someone who won't ever break my heart. This man is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm happy for the past 4 ½ years and I'm excited for that MANY more that are awaiting.