Twasn't The Night Before Christmas

‘Twasn't the Night Before Christmas

or Account of an unexpected Visit from St. Nicholas

inspired by the poem 'Twas the NIght Before Christmas' 

by

Major Henry Livingston Jr. (1748-1828)

(previously believed to be by Clement Clarke Moore)

 Written by

Synia Sidhe

‘Twas the night before July 5th, when all through the house

Air Conditioners were whirring, so no one would grouse;

Fireworks boomed and sparkled in the air,

It was almost midnight, but tonight no one would care;

Except for two children stubbornly wrapped in their  beds,

Twins who were a bit different in their heads;

Their eyes angry and wide like they'd split a venti frappe,

wincing in unison with each explosive clap,

They'd soaked in long baths and were diffusing attar,

But with each wave of patriotism their nerves would shatter.

Through the window they saw a colorful flash,

which only made them grumble and thrash.

"When will it be over, this awful show?"

"It's long past our bedtime, as you know."

Their complaints about the celebration would disappear,

When  their door was nudged open by a reindeer,

Upon the hardwood floor its hooves did click,

.As it stumbled into their room, definitely sick

The boys yelped as into the room it came

Though they calmed when they realized it was tame;

"Around its neck, its collar says Vixen!"

Which was confusing enough, then in stumbled Blitzen

Vixen rubbed his head against the wall!

Leaving a glittering snot trail covering all

"How did they get here? Can reindeer really fly?"

One twin asked while the other scanned the sky,

But only colorful fireworks in the air blew,

So the twins looked back at the reindeer, all two.

Then they heard a great scuffling, up on the roof

And then someone swore, rather uncouth.

To the hallway two boys and two reindeer bound,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas fell without a sound.

He was dressed in Hawaiian print, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were without the slightest bit of soot;

He sagged as if he carried a heavy load on his back,

But all he had in his hands was a bright red first aid pack.

The twin greeted him from a distance, wary.

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His frowning little mouth was drawn down low,

And clean shaved like this, his chin was pale as snow.;

He angrily chewed a sugar cane with his teeth,

explaining the large jelly belly jiggling beneath;

"Get down here you beasts," Santa was yelly,

His tactic lacked nuance, he was no Machiavelli

The twins held hands, was this shaven Santa the real deal?

Or just some bandit coming in for a steal?

They studied his ears and saw they were pointed

It seemed with Yuletide destiny the intruder truly was anointed

"He's does have magic, he's some kind of elf,"

The twins stepped out from behind their bookshelf;

One laid his hand upon Vixen's head,

The other petted Blitzen, who felt half-dead;

"Boys, would you like some good honest work?

Help me heal these reindeers instead of just lurk.

While you're not the vet assistants I would have chose,

They've taken a liking to you, that much shows."

The Twins guided the reindeer down the stairs

Which their hooves didn't touch, but hovered in the air

Until they sat down on the sofas below

And Santa asked if some kale and cheese he could borrow

"I thought you liked cookies," One twin asked

While completing the deed of which he was tasked

"Oh, I do, I eat them every day," Santa snapped

"These goofs will only eat their medicine if its wrapped," 

He tucked the little glowing pill in cheese

And offered it to the twin, who put Vixen at ease

"I was called back and couldn't debate,"

Santa explained as Vixen ate.

"There I was enjoying my vacation South of the Equator,

where I tanned, swam, and even wrestled a 'gator,

When Mrs.Claus called me quite upset;

Screaming that she needed a vet,"

Santa continued to weave his tale

While passing the cloaked medicine in kale

Blitzen ate it without protest

Relishing the dark leafy green with zest

"I can see they are sick Santa,

but that doesn't answer why they're in Atlanta?

Shouldn't they be at the North Pole,

with all the ice, elves, and snow?"

"Ah, well the thing about reindeers is,"

Santa began that sentence but didn't finish his

As Vixen let out a great sneeze

and disappeared into the breeze

"They can teleport, it's part of their magic,"

Santa sighed, finding this predicament tragic

"So I've been chasing them all over the globe,"

Santa sighed a massaged his frontal lobe

Blitzen sneezed later by only a second

"Should follow them, Santa, I reckon,"

Twin one dusted the reindeer fur off of his hands

The other chimed in, "Wait, wait, I have a few demands."

Santa snapped his fingers with a nod

"Yes, leaving without paying you would be quite odd,"

Santa opened up his first aid pack, bright red

But what he pulled out wasn't a med

He handed each boy a coin made of gold

Although it was summer, the metal felt cold

"For your help, my junior veterinarians,

I have a side hobby as a bit of an antiquarian,"

The two boys looked down at their coins

With join their two hands did join

"Hold onto those until you get big,

then sell them and you'll never work a rotten gig,"

Then Santa backed up to the chimney

And hopped back up the chute nimbly

The boys eyed their treasures

While of their different options they took measure

"Do you think I should give it to mom?"

Twin one asked and rolled the coin in his palm

"Then she could buy  us all the video games we want,"

Agreed his brotherly confidant

"But Santa did say we should keep them for a while,"

Both twins flashed each other a wry smile

"If you keep your secret I'll keep yours,"

That night they shook and keep their silence for years

At 18 both brothers opened accounts at the bank

Auctioned off their coins and into savings sank

Of those kinds of coins there were only five in circulation

So selling them for a profit raised both boys stations

The twins spent their million dollars in different ways

One mostly invests, the other mostly plays

But they bought a quiet cabin far in the woods together

And they spent July 4th there every year, forever

So when the sun sets behind the towering pines

The twins don't have to adjust the bed times

Because despite all their fortune and luck

At exactly 9pm into bed they like to tuck

It wasn't that they were particularly nice

But when Santa asked for help he hadn't asked twice

And sometimes that's all you need

Is a single chance opportunity to succeed