Broken Hope

I really love it whenever I see people taking care of other people, without expecting something in return. It’s like a vitamin to my eye when I see them making people happy for their small efforts. But sometimes life isn’t as shiny as you imagined. Some are taking it as an opportunity to brag, or cover their real deal of why they are helping.

“Hey, Nami!” I turn around to see who’s calling. It was Louie, my friend, who’s been busy for weeks in their institution. He’s always this loud whenever we meet in the most unexpected place.

I’m currently in a beauty shop that’s why I wonder what was Louie doing in a beauty shop.

“Hey, what’s up?”

He just passed by and was looking at some facial products which made it look weird. So I poked his cheek ‘cause he probably forgot that I was still here.

“Nam, can you suggest some eye-something product that can make a girl look pretty?” Okay? I didn’t see that one coming but maybe he’s buying it for his girl?

I keenly glared at him out of suspicion. “You got a girl now? And you didn’t even tell me?!”

He just shrugged and continues to pick some products that, I think, he has no idea what it was, at all.

“Whatever you call it. I got a lot of girlfriends to take care of, ya know.”

I sighed out of irritation. He’s always like this. Bragging about how many girlfriends he got already when I know that he’s a school nerd for being a shy-type boy. I also wondered why he became so shy when he’s got the looks girls probably are looking for, and he’s freaking a math genius! Now I wonder why he didn’t become one of my crushes way back in high school.

I don’t know. It just didn’t feel right whenever I think about us, being together. He’s like an older brother, for Pete’s sake!

“Tsk, that’s obviously lipstick, Louie!” And I took the lipstick out of his hand. “What does she want in particular? An eyeliner, eyebrow liner, eye shadow-”. He cut me off before I could even finish my word.

“Stop, stop, stop… Too much eye-something! I don’t know what kind of eye makeup she wants. Just give me anything.” And he dramatically massaged his temple.

Wow, the girl must be so lucky to have Louie. She’s gonna be a spoiled girlfriend for having him! Too bad, I don’t have anyone with me, like Louie.

“Hey, thanks for helping a lot! Wanna grab some lunch?” Usually, I would decline offers when I already know they have a girlfriend but Louie is a friend, you know, nothing malicious happening here.

He brought me to a fine dining restaurant, which he said is his favorite resto on earth.

“Would your girlfriend be mad if you brought me here?”

He just laughed and poked my nose. What’s funny mister? I’m just concerned. I don’t want someone to just blurt out of nowhere and pull my hair for flirting with his boyfriend. Girl, that looks painful even when I’m just watching it on any film. And the embarrassment! Gosh, I think couldn’t handle that.

“Hey! I’m asking, mister.”

“Just eat your lunch, Naomi.” And softly chuckled. This man right here is weird!

“Gosh! What should I do!” I panicked when my editor just messaged me that the company is receiving a lot of complaints about the books that were mysteriously lost. Now the customers want their money back. And she said the head of the company is nowhere to be found. What about my monthly salary as a writer?!

I just got scammed and the man in front of me is not helping ‘cause he’s busy taking a video of me, looking miserable.

“Hey, don’t be mad! There are a lot of jobs for writers, keep positive!”

“Well, lucky for you. You got a stable job in your institution. Writers are somewhat freelancers who are waiting to be discovered.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to put it that way. Why don’t you just join me in the insti for the meantime? You’ll get paid if you do good.”

“And what if I don’t?”

“Just go home and have some cup of tea.”

I rolled my eyes at him but took the job anyway. I don’t have any choice at the moment ‘cause I gotta pay for my rent this month.

Today is my first day in the Dare to Care Organization founded by Ms. Dale, Louie’s aunt.

“Why did you bring the makeup? Is your girlfriend there?”

“Yeah, they’re probably there.” What? Is he crazy?! He’s more than delusional.

We’re walking side by side in an empty hallway, heading to the conference hall for a gathering. The Dare to Care Org. is introducing the new staff, which is where I’m included, to the orphan kids.

I’m kinda nervous because I want to be the best person that I could to assist and take care of them. My mother used to tell me that she wanted a lot of kids but she didn’t get what she wants. They just ended up having me alone. So the plan has changed, she wants a lot of grandchildren! And it made me feel dizzy whenever I think about it.

“I’m nervous,” I said as we were finally in front of the door. He put the paper bag, where the makeups are, on the floor and held my shoulders.

“Take this as a privilege okay? Not all the time we can make a person smile. We’ll just do our best.”

And the most unnecessary part was him kissing my forehead. What a great opportunist!

“I’ll deal with you later!” I said and entered the room.

“H-Hi! I’m Naomi Elise but just call me Nami!” I smiled as wide as I could just to hide my nervousness.

They’re just genuinely smiling at me which made me sigh in relief. Some kids are playing around and some are getting scolded.

The first two months of working here were kind of tiring as I was still adjusting. Some kids are so stubborn that sometimes I want to cry out of tiredness. But that just made me put my whole patience on them.

I also earn money for my job but sometimes I would think that I won’t need the money for taking care of them. So, I decided to still receive the salary and just buy them something they want ‘cause they deserve it. I don’t need to be paid just to take care of these cuties.

“Hey, can you come with me? I don’t really know how to pick dresses for my girlfriends.”

One thing I learned when I started working here, Louie’s girlfriends are the cuties, ages four-seven. He’s treating them to anything they want ‘cause they’re indeed spoiled to Louie.

“Great! I have something to buy for my boyfriends too.” The second thing I learned from Louie!

“Hey! Don’t say that!” He snapped when he realized what I just said.

“Say what?” He’s acting weird these past few weeks. If I didn’t know him well, I’d probably think he’s jealous that I’m calling someone my boyfriend!



“That! You don’t have a boyfriend yet, babe! Want to make me one?”

He’s talking non-sense again that’s making me blush! What’s with him! And when did he started to learn the art of flirting? Where can I master that? 



“Shut up, mister.” And he just chuckled as he started the engine of the car.

I’ve been working here for almost a year now, thanks to these cuties whose been a great help in developing my character. I, sometimes, invite my mom to visit DTC Org. and she’s much happier to play with them. This has always been her dream, a lot of children. A dream got unlocked, perhaps?

Everything was going smoothly throughout my journey in Dare to Care. But we never really know when a problem wants to mess things up.

“Babe,”

We were just here on the bed on a Sunday night. I rested my head on Louie’s chest as a starting telling him that I want our own kids too. We’re not getting any younger. And we’re too old enough to stay in the dating stage.

“How many do you want babe?” And he laughed so hard that made me laugh too. Mom’s voice was echoing in my head as she said she wants a dozen of grandchildren.

“Mom wants to-” I answered with a soft voice. But I think he didn’t hear me ‘cause he keeps on repeating his question.

“I want-”

“What is it again, babe?”

I kept on murmuring words but no voice would come out of my mouth, though I tried to talk louder. Moments later, I felt something running down my nose that stained Louie’s white shirt.

He began to panic but I couldn’t hear him anymore. He kept on tapping my cheeks and I guess, he’s calling my name several times but I felt really dizzy and sleepy. The next thing I know was a flickering light in my eyes.

People around me seem too busy. And I was just here laying down. The series of lights were so fast to leave my eyes that it made me feel dizzy. What is happening? I couldn’t feel a thing. Every time I try to raise my hand to reach for Louie’s, it always falls.

I could feel the dryness of my throat. It’s like I went to a deserted island without having any water. I tried to move but I was just so weak. A thin sound kept on ringing in my ears and it hurts like it’s breaking my head.

“Hey, hey, you’re finally awake.” I saw Louie immediately pressed something.

Wait, why am I in the hospital? The last thing I remembered was the night when I was with Louie talking about our plans. What really happened?

“Hey, babe.”

I reached for Louie’s face. He looked sleepless and was losing weight. How did he become like this?

I tried to utter some words but they won’t come out. I tried again and again that it hurts to speak anymore. I cried as I tried to speak again. Louie was trying to make me calm when a doctor came in when his nurse.

He checked something on the machines beside me but that was the least of my concern. Why am I here? Am I that sick?

The doctor explained to me everything even when I’m in that state ‘cause I want to know the truth. The doctor said that I am a stage 2 cancer patient which made me almost lose my mind. They saw some infections on my body that triggered cancer. And the most painful part was, I can’t get pregnant ‘cause the baby’s life will be at risk.

I want to scream out of pain but my voice won’t allow me. Even with my state, I can’t let the anger out. Louie was silently weeping on the corner and it hurts to see him like that. I know he wanted to have kids too, that was our dream. Now, we can’t even have one.

“Louie…” I called him to ask about the children in DTC. Let them be my strength. Let me see them and be with them.

“Yes, babe?” His eyes were swollen and he looks pathetic in that state. I’m sorry if you have to deal with this, Louie. You could’ve got yourself a family by now. I’m so sorry.

“Let me see the kids, Louie. I want to see them.”

He immediately avoided my gaze and turn around. Why is he acting like that?

“Louie, please. Let me see them, just for once.”

He took a chair to sit beside my bed and held my hand. I felt comfort in his warm hands.

“T-They’re gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re gone, Nami, they’re gone.” And now he started crying out loud. Like his life depended on the kids. And it wouldn’t sink in my head too.

“What are you saying? I’ve been here for just a month and now they’re gone? Stop kidding, Louie. It’s not funny at all!”

My tears began to fall as he just bowed his head down on my hands.

“I’m sorry, Nami. I tried to fight for them but my aunt sold them away. I’m sorry I was so blind to see their real motives for the organization. I thought we’re making money for their future but she’s the only one making money.” He looked helpless as he explained what happened.

I was just there, spacing out, trying to sink in the words he just said but I couldn’t think of anything but the faces of the kids I loved!

“Where are they? Where is Dale?!”

Maybe my strength was piled up that I could even shout her aunt’s name.

Those pure souls, innocent smiles, and homeless kids. How could she do that to them?! I was so depressed to learn that I can’t even have my own child anymore, and now my comfort was taken away too!

Louie was holding my hand so I grabbed his hand and punched it as strong as I could. I want to burst out my anger, my frustration, and my pain. He just let me punched him. I couldn’t take this anymore.

Dale was haunted by the authority but they can’t trace even her slightest shadow. She must’ve made millions of dollars in exchange for the poor souls. Only monsters can do that.

DTC was their only chance of having a home! How could they break their hope! And I just lost my hope in this institution. It breaks my heart. It’s killing my mind thinking that they were sold out to some syndicate. I’ve got no hope for everyone or everything anymore. I just lost hope in humanity. And maybe I could only have my hope back if Louie’s aunt is put behind the bars. If humanity is restored. If justice is served.