Contest #271 winner 🏆

163 comments

Drama Sad Fiction

The elderly lady shuffled the few remaining steps to the park bench and sat down, happy to catch her breath and rest for a moment. The autumn sunshine was warm, but the nip in the air made her glad of her warm coat. She placed her handbag neatly on her knee.

“Good morning,” said the silver-haired gentleman at the other end of the bench. “Beautiful day.”

Elsie smiled. “Yes, it is. Cold, but lovely.”

The man folded his newspaper and returned the smile. “I’m George.”

“Hello, George. I’m Elsie.” She re-arranged her scarf, her gnarled fingers struggling in the cold.

They sat for a few moments quietly, looking over the city. “I’ve always loved this view.” 

“Pardon?”

“The view,” George repeated. “I’ve been coming here since I was a boy. I used to watch the trains.”

Elsie looked to where George was pointing, down the hill towards the city. 

“I liked the steam trains. Do you see?” He added. 

“Yes, I can see. No more steam trains now, though, I’m afraid. It was different, then.”

George nodded. “It was. I’d travel the country. My folks had no idea where I was half the time. It wasn’t like it is today.” He paused. “Do you have children?”

“Yes, two. And grandchildren, now.”

“Then you’re blessed. What are their names?” George turned to look at Elsie, noticing her careworn face, the long, white plait that rested over her shoulder.

“Timothy, is the eldest. He has two little ones of his own now.” Elsie said, proudly. “Well, not so little now. They’ve grown and gone, too. I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like.”

“I’ve always liked the name Timothy.”

Elsie smiled. “And then there’s Ellen. She got married, finally, last year. She’s nearly sixty! She finally took the plunge.”

“Well that’s lovely!”

“It is. It was. She looked beautiful.”

George sat back. “I always wanted children.”

Another few moments passed by, quietly. 

Elsie looked over. “You can read your newspaper, George. I don’t mind.”

“No, no. It’s okay. I don’t often get chance to chat. Especially with a beautiful woman.” He said, with a wink. 

Elsie chuckled. “Charmer. I bet you broke some hearts.”

“I don’t know about that!”

“Did you grow up around here, then?”

“Yes,” replied George. “Not far. And I went to school here, too. Calder… Calder something.” He shook his head. “I forget.”

“Age does that to us, doesn’t it?” Elsie asked, softly.

George shrugged. “I guess it does.”

She sighed. “It takes away the most precious things. Our bodies, our minds, our memories.” 

They fell into quiet again, both looking at the city sprawled out before them, lost in their own thoughts.

“May I ask you something, George?” 

He turned to look at her again. “Of course!”

“Have you ever married?”

George shook his head. “No, I never married. There was a girl I knew… once. I forget her name. Have you?”

“Yes. I was lucky enough to marry my best friend. The love of my life.”

“Well that’s wonderful!”

“Yes. It was wonderful. I’ve… lost him now. And it’s lonely. Terribly, terribly lonely.” Elsie looked down at her lap.

George reached over and took her hand, tenderly. “I’m very sorry for your loss. How long ago?” 

“Around five years ago. Nothing has been the same since.” Tears filled her once, bright blue eyes. They were cloudy now; age and sorrow had faded their beauty. 

George frowned. “That’s such a shame. Do you have anyone close?”

Elsie shook her head. “They have their own lives. Timothy is in Chester, Ellen in Manchester. And I feel like all I do is cross names out of my address book.” She paused. “All of my friends… They’re all gone.” 

George reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and offered it to her. “There, now. It’s okay.”

Elsie managed a small smile. “Thank you.” She wiped her eyes. “It’s silly. You must think I’m an old fool, sitting on a bench, crying.”

“Not at all.”

“Well I feel like an old fool. I should be glad of what I have. I’m still here, my children are happy and healthy. You were right, I have been blessed.”

George looked puzzled. “What?”

“A minute ago, you said I was blessed. For having my children.”

“Oh, that’s right.” He shook his head. “I’m more forgetful, the older I get.”

Elsie tried to pass the handkerchief back but George refused. “Keep it, I have plenty.”

“Okay, I will. Thank you.” She opened her handbag and tucked the handkerchief inside. She snapped it shut again. “It’s a funny old life, George, don’t you think?”

He tilted his head, not understanding. “In what way?”

“I just… can’t believe I’m here. At the end of my life. And what do I really have to show for it?”

George didn’t reply. 

“I don’t feel any different than I did ten years ago. Twenty years ago, even. And now when I look in the mirror, an old woman looks back.” She sighed. “It all feels so… pointless.”

George cleared his throat. “I don’t know how to help you with that one, I’m afraid,” he said, a little uncomfortably.

“I know, George. I don’t expect answers. I just wanted to say it out loud.”

Quiet fell again. 

“I used to take the trains, you know. All around the country.”

“Yes. You said.”

George laughed. “I did?” 

Elsie smiled, indulgently. “Yes. And your parents didn’t know.”

“Not a clue. Not like today.”

“No, George. It isn’t like today at all.”

George turned to look at her. “Do you know, you seem really familiar. Have we met before?”

Elsie sighed. “Yes. We have met.”

George frowned. 

“And it’s time we went home. This cold is getting right to my bones.”

George continued to frown. 

“Come on. I’ve got a casserole in the oven. And then it’s time for the racing. You like the racing.” She stood, stiffly, then held her hand out. She smiled, encouragingly. “Come on, George. Home time.”

George stood, still frowning. “Home?”

“Yes, sweetheart. Home. And we can ring Tim later and see him on the screen. Remember?”

George nodded slightly and stood. 

“Don’t forget your paper.”

The elderly couple walked away from the park bench where they had sat every Sunday morning for the past fifty years, hand in hand, back to the house where they had raised their children. Empty now, thought Elsie as she lead her husband back through the park. Entirely empty.

October 06, 2024 12:36

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163 comments

Anu Sharma
22:46 Oct 24, 2024

Beautifully written, emotional short story with a touch of reality. Loved it! Congratulations Kate!

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Kate Simkins
08:42 Oct 25, 2024

Thank you! It’s based on my parent’s story, so I appreciate you noticing the reality ☺️

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Lou Jayne
20:49 Oct 24, 2024

What a sweet story. The ending put a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Well done.

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Kate Simkins
08:41 Oct 25, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 🙏

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Cathy Saali
16:38 Oct 24, 2024

a beautiful story!

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Kate Simkins
16:41 Oct 24, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 🙏

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Justin McCulloh
14:13 Oct 24, 2024

I love the way you carried the story until the end, then you ended with a bang! bravo , very well done !

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Kate Simkins
14:16 Oct 24, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 🙏

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Moty Golub
10:48 Oct 24, 2024

Touching, reminds me of my wife's father at this very moment. Thank you?

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Moty Golub
10:48 Oct 24, 2024

Touching, reminds me of my wife's father at this very moment. Thank you?

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Paul Simpkin
08:55 Oct 24, 2024

Loved your story. The dialogue is excellent. You make us care about the two characters.

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Kate Simkins
08:57 Oct 24, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment ☺️

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Kaoli Chona
23:23 Oct 23, 2024

This story I read and understood straight away and the story is close to my heart. I am also a caregiver for my 87 year old mother so I can relate. Further, I can never find the money and time to train but I love writing. Thank you for this story, it sort of inspired me to write again. You know I have written four or five stories then I just stopped because I thought I could never achieve a win because the style of writing seemed unattainable. Your story has woken my desire

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Kate Simkins
08:43 Oct 24, 2024

Thanks for leaving such a detailed response. I’m so sorry to hear about your Mother, my father is in a similar situation. I’m really glad to hear you have started writing again. I have found that Reedsy is a really good place to practice and to receive feedback. I am a firm believer in practice… the more writing you do, the better you get!

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MJ Brewer
15:12 Oct 23, 2024

I can’t say I’ve ever read a story that caused me to feel lonely—until now. Having amnesia for 32 years, and slowly recuperating, the shock of my daughter joining the Marines finally cured me—just in time to be alone.

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Zen Wren
11:56 Oct 23, 2024

“I’ve always liked the name Timothy.” Gah! Terribly, terribly sad. I feel for Elsie's loneliness. Well done, Kate.

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Kate Simkins
12:15 Oct 23, 2024

Thank you. This story meant a lot, so I appreciate the likes and comments.

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Sarina HB
02:59 Oct 23, 2024

This was such a sweet story! I felt like I was right there with them feeling the cold crisp air. Even made me tear up a bit. Reminded me to cherish the special little moments we have in life. Thank you!

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Kate Simkins
07:53 Oct 23, 2024

I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment! And I agree - the small moments are really important.

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22:04 Oct 22, 2024

I saw the ending coming and it still broke my heart!

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Kate Simkins
07:53 Oct 23, 2024

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It is really sad situation, and one that is close to my heart.

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09:00 Oct 22, 2024

That twist was a real gut punch, Kate! What a phenomenal story about love and ageing. You earned this win!

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Kate Simkins
09:24 Oct 22, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate the comment ☺️

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Karen Pole
00:28 Oct 22, 2024

Really good I enjoyed it. Thank you

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Kate Simkins
08:16 Oct 22, 2024

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it!

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Sophia Marvin
23:40 Oct 21, 2024

Write a book now?!!!

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Kate Simkins
08:15 Oct 22, 2024

On it!!

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Brian Bosader
21:30 Oct 21, 2024

My gosh that dialogue of yours .... I felt as if I were sitting there between Elsie and George listening to them go back and forth! Excellent story and writing!

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Kate Simkins
08:15 Oct 22, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment :-)

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Adrian Yepez
19:35 Oct 21, 2024

It's like a never-ending meet cute. A little flirty, yet a little sad, with great dialogue, and warm characters, you created a beautiful story, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

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Kate Simkins
19:36 Oct 21, 2024

Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 😊

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Lynne Boyd
19:03 Oct 21, 2024

Beautifully written, and what a sweet but sad ending. Congratulations on your win.

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Kate Simkins
19:08 Oct 21, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.

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Story Time
15:15 Oct 21, 2024

I love how grounded the piece is. It has a real impact to it that resonates and all due to your admirable restraint in language. Well done.

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Kate Simkins
15:37 Oct 21, 2024

Thankyou! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story and leave a comment.

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10:28 Oct 21, 2024

It’s beautiful Kate. And so smoothly and easy written. Deserved win. Congratulations. 🌹

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Kate Simkins
11:32 Oct 21, 2024

Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 😀

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