The Pandemic Ends

Dear Diary,

Now is April 9,2020 at 11:43pm

I want to fall asleep yet I can’t.

I close my eyes, I open my eyes, I close my eyes again. Oh! I still cannot sleep. Am I over stressed? Or something is just bothering me?

The community lock down is finally over. Everything is back to normal. I see happiness and joy in every person’s face while giving hugs and kisses to their loved ones. Well-off families have parties with relatives and friends. Others go to a beach picnic. Some lovers have dates on a park and some watch new shows in a movie theater. Children run freely anywhere. Employees are now back to work. Public utility vehicles are now causing the highway traffic again.

Diary, how about me? Of course I am delighted and happy too. Finally, I’ll not be staying at home the whole day and night scrolling my cellphone up and down, waiting for a text message or a call from somebody; I’ll no longer be eating noodles, canned food, and processed meats; I’ll no longer be visiting to different dating sites not to find a partner but just to ease boredom. I can now go and hangout with my friends.

It seems that now is the most precious and valuable day of my life. I am now as free as the eagles flying toward the skies. I can do what I opt to do.

Diary, it was been five years then since the time I struggled and always had an headache over my first college Mathematics class with my terror professor; the time I had felt of having all the butterflies fluttered in my stomach and felt like I flown in the air with nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide, and other elements every Monday during my Science class because I had a crush to Mr. A, my handsome and brilliant professor; and a time when I found it hard dealing with my arrogant classmates. So annoying and disgusting, right? But I still manage to pursue my education.

Haven't you remembered Diary when I told you about my first broken heart?

It was been three years ago now when I experienced those heartache.  Ouch! The extreme pain I felt made my tears trickled down my cheeks. My friends bullied me and laughed at me. It seemed nobody cared for me.

I was down in the dumps that moment but I took solace in the fact that I am definitely not the first who have that heart broken. 

It was also a year ago today when my family planned to have a trip to Philippines’ greatest Ultra Wind Resort to celebrate my graduation. So exciting! Unfortunately, it was a failure. I’ll no longer mention why it became a failure, it will break my heart again. But I still moved forward toward my goal in life. I fought the battle alone and will still fight until the end.

You knew me so much diary. 

Sleepless nights and restless days did not hinder me to pursue my dream. Behind my hectic schedule, I still found time to review my previous lessons.

Finally, I passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers a month ago. “This is it! I am now a Licensed Professional Teacher! “ I felt that there was a clear sense of purpose deep down my bones. My heart filled with excitement. 

Me and my friends planned to celebrate my success. Today is the day we suppose to have a beach party for a big celebration. But until now, it remains a plan.

I was supposed to apply for a teaching position at Cagayan de Oro University, the best university in CDO and my most dreamt university to work into. I already prepared all my requirements and got myself ready for the interview and teaching demonstration. However, Mr. President declared a total community lockdown. My application was then delayed. 

Do you know what happened next Diary?

Here I am now, quarantined. Staying at home the whole day and night scrolling my cellphone up and down, waiting for a text message or a call from somebody; eating noodles, canned food, and processed meats all day long; visiting to different dating sites just to have fun; already watched more than a hundred Korean love stories; getting fat as time goes on; having ample time for myself; and feeling bad sometimes upon reading social media posts grumbling against the government.

“The community lock down is finally over. Everything is back to normal. Seeing the happiness in every person’s face while giving hugs and kisses to their loved ones. Well-off families have parties with relatives and friends. Others go to a beach picnic. Some lovers have dates on a park and some watch new shows in a movie theater. Children run freely anywhere. Employees are now back to work.” 

Wow! What a great and an overwhelming image to look at! But when will this happen? After a month? After a week? Tomorrow? It may surely be the question of every weary individual in this time of world wide crisis. This community image may be the dream of every hungry child; the dream of every front liner who is in hospitals and medical establishments taking care of the suffering patients; the dream of every soldier and police officer who watches the whole community; the dream of every teenager who seeks freedom; and of course it is my dream as future educator who’s heart is filled with enthusiasm and eagerness to be with the students soon.

Hey Diary! Am I bored enough or am I getting frustrated? Am I already insane? Surely not.

“The community lock down is finally over.” Hahaha.. I am hoping and anticipating so.

Having the pandemic ends is a meaningful picture coming from my ambitious thought and a product of my wild imagination due to my urge of wanting to be free and my desire and eagerness to persist what I failed to do. Maybe this is because in my entire life I struggled a lot and wished to be a great educator who guides and inspires students of young minds. Yet this is where I am now, waiting the pandemic to end. I felt defeated this moment yet I will never surrender.

Diary, it is undeniable that I’ve been in a long and winding journey. I did many climbs. I encountered many failures but one thing is for sure, I always persisted. Now that I am almost at the finishing line, I am hoping that there will be an answer not only to my prayer but for everybody’s prayer that may God heal this land and this pandemic will end. I never lose hope and I will persist.

Diary, thank you for being with me all the time. You are my trusted companion and you are more than a best friend to me. You have no ears but you listen me speaking. You do not have emotion but you feel me. You are an empathetic friend in this unsympathetic world. I have no one to talk to except you. Thank you for letting me jot down on your simple pages all the thoughts that flash on my mind, the things that bother me, every emotion I feel, and all the memories I reminisce from my past that touch my heart. I apologize if I have disturbed you especially during this late at night. See you next time. Bye.

Yours truly,

Len