The Adventures Of Ari and Charlie: The Wedding Of Doom

“Ugh, why are we even here? Couldn’t we have just stayed with Billy?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Sheesh, oh right, you’re too stupid to know am I right, Ari?”

“Hey… I only asked why you asked!”

I smacked him in the back of his head as we sat at a table that our family was assigned to at our cousin, Felipe’s wedding. I mean, it was pretty awesome, very… white… but awesome. Girl he was going to marry was awesome. Food was awesome… my gosh the food was amazing… it was just…

“Ari… I’m sorry. Alright? Can you just tell him for me?” Charlie asked me. “No. You have to tell him yourself!” I respond as I crossed my arms. “That’s all you, buddy!” I exclaimed and he groaned in annoyance. You see, a few days before the wedding he’d met the girl Felipe was to marry, and he wasn’t exactly the nicest to her. I was, but I mean…

It’s me…

Ari…

Of course I was.

Pfft- Why wouldn’t I be?

Anywho, he said some things about her he shouldn’t have, he’d claimed she… what’s the word? Y’know? When someone who’s already in a relationship goes out with someone else behind their partner’s back and keeps it a secret?

Huh? What?

It’s called… ‘cheating’?

Oh… I didn’t know that… Thanks!

Anywho…, Charlie accused her of the that. Said he knew the guy too, that it was his friend’s older brother. Felipe confronted the guy and… well… it didn’t end well. Didn’t end well at all. I ain’t gonna sugar coat nothin’! It was bad! VERY BAD- in fact, let’s just drop the whole thing ‘cause I ain’t talkin’ about it. Felipe wasn’t happy with Charlie at all, Charlie didn’t even apologize to either of them. Also I don’t know the girl’s name, I forgot, sorry. Heh, I got a lot of things on my mind…

Like the time Linda Ronstadt was on Sesame Street back in 1988. She was also on The Muppet Show- Oh, am I getting off topic? I am? My apologies…

“Felipe hates me! I can’t do it! You go! He’s not furious with you!”

“Mhm… that’s because I didn’t say his fiancé went out with another guy behind his back and then told him who the guy was and had it result in him and that same guy getting into an all out battle over a girl!”

I told him and he slumped over in his seat. You see… having a sibling isn’t that nice…

Okay well sometimes it is, but this was one of those times that it wasn’t at all.

“I get it, I screwed up, but this wedding is one of absolute doom because of it! I mean look!”

He sat up and pointed to where our parents and Felipe’s parents stood. They seemed to be arguing and it looked like the girl’s parents were a part of it too.

Just arguing on such a sacred and special day. Lord help us all…

“I caused that! It’s my fault this wedding is doomed! Doomed! Ari, it’s just doomed!!”

He’d exclaim over-dramatically as I sat there and sighed. I didn’t really want to be there either... My Tia and mom made me wear this terrible dress! This dress that was pure white and then- and then had this like big skirt and these painful shoes and it was just horrid! Absolutely horrid! Charlie’s suit was horrid too!

“Okay… But it’ll only get worse if you don’t say anything. I mean, what you said was rude and uncalled for. Even if you didn’t like the girl you didn’t have to say that…” I told him. I could tell he was feeling really guilty. “I know… but….”

He paused.

“But I wasn’t lying…”

Wow…

Now that took a turn. Took a very big turn indeed…

“You weren’t- wait, Charlie, what do you mean you weren’t…”

I paused as well.

I had finally processed what that meant, she actually did go behind my cousin’s back!

I slammed both my fists on the table.

“Are you telling me that two bit blonde went behind Felipe’s back?! Just like that?! Like he was nothing?!”

I was absolutely furious.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying!”

He slammed his fist on the table.

I sighed and then sat back and looked up at the ceiling. “Charlie, I owe you an apology. I was so caught up in this corny excitement about him getting married that I never stopped to think maybe this lady wasn’t the right one for him…”

My tone changed from furious to somewhat guilty. Charlie shook his head, “Don’t apologize. They all put that thought in your head that I just hated her and you’re only thirteen like me and don’t need to worry about what so you just went with it.” I nodded. He was right… and I felt bad. Really bad.

“We should go talk to Felipe.” I told him. “But the… Say, they haven’t actually officially gotten married yet! We have time before they do! Before the priest stands before them and marries them!”

“HUH?”

“He gets them married, Ari. He doesn’t actually marry them both.”

“Oh…”

I said in relief. My poor confused mind finally came to its senses. Charlie only shook his head and laughed. We both ran like the wind to Felipe. Pushed through the crowds of people to get to him. But he was with her… that two bit blonde!

“Hey, Felipe? Can we speak to you for a moment?” I asked him, he turned to me alongside the two bit blonde. “Sure, Ari. What’s up?” He said as he stopped to listen, and so did the two bit blonde… ugh.

“Uh… Felipe. Can we talk to you… by yourself?” I ask as he chuckled and smiled at the two bit blonde. “Anything you need to say to me, you can say to her to, she’s going to be my wife after all!” He told me.

“Felipe that’s the thing…”

I whispered in his ear in Spanish. And he stood there in shock before following me and Charlie away from the crowd. We did a lot of explaining on what had happened. We stood there outside the fancy salon that was decorated like some ballroom that was lit dimly and had white flowers hanging out on the walls and tables, many people dressed their very best and stood around talking or were sitting at their tables waiting for the actual wedding to begin. Meanwhile the groom was getting the worst news possible, and on the day of his wedding. He then walked back in and in front of the crowed with me and Charlie holding each other, absolutely terrified about how everyone would react. He then spoke into the microphone.

“I…”

He paused and glanced at me and Charlie as we nodded our heads to encourage him to speak. I have no idea why a few nods helped him but they did.

“I’m sorry but…”

An annoyed expression crawled into my face as I also looked somewhat tired, and I was indeed tired… of that nonsense. I grabbed that microphone from

him.

“Alright everybody just go home and go sleep or somethin’ cuz she…”

I pointed at his fiancé, aka the two bit blonde.

“Went out with some other guy after Felipe proposed and so like we told him what happened because she kept it a secret from him, and like I think that guy was gon’ propose too, so like yeah. There’s no wedding today….”

I sighed.

“Okay, bye.”

I then said and handed the microphone back and a screech from it was heard. Everyone’s jaws fell open and some people cried, others were furious. Charlie sighed with relief and Felipe just hugged him.

“Thank you, Charlie. I should’ve listened to you…”

“Don’t worry about it! We totally just exposed and canceled someone!”

Charlie said turning to fist bump me as we another laughed. We felt awesome. But he was right, the wedding was doomed. But honestly, that was the best ending

ever.

And that my friends, is the story of

me and Charlie… and the wedding of doom.

Did I mention that me and Charlie raided the coolers and took home like twenty Pepsis? Yeah…

Yeah that happened…

Well… have a nice life!