It’s All 4YOU

Joo Mi stared out the van window as they headed back to the house after a full day of training. The steps to their new dance were hard, but she knew the fans would love it. Their group, 4YOU, was known for its intricate choreography and moving lyrics. They were also preparing to release their new album which was set to have a goddess theme, which meant dazzling costumes and fun new hairstyles. The fans were sure to eat it up.  

Their manager was reviewing the week’s schedule as well as the company directives for their upcoming tour. “Joo Mi, don’t forget you need to lose seven pounds by the next show. It’s in two weeks,” their manager said, flipping to the next page of notes. 

Joo Mi sighed and took a big sip of water, already feeling hungry but knowing she wouldn’t be eating much anytime soon. She pinched the skin around her stomach and glanced at her round cheeks in the window reflection. Personally, Joo Mi didn’t think she looked overweight, but the company disagreed. Guess she needed to be deathly skinny to pull off the Persephone vibe. 

“Oh well,” Joo Mi thought, “it’s better than Yoonie’s skin bleaching treatments.” 

The van finally pulled up in front of the house and the girls were offered a short reprieve from the bombardment of demands. 

Joo Mi set her bag down in the kitchen and pulled out a small bag of crackers from the cupboard. The snack would be enough to satiate her hunger so she could fall asleep later. It was almost eight o’clock, which meant she had about an hour until her VLIVE. She also remembered that her manager said she had to wear the new earrings they got from a sponsor. All she really wanted to do was lie down and rest for a while, but she needed to shower and prep for the live if she didn’t want to get any criticism from the company or expectant fans. 

Fifty-five minutes later, Joo Mi made herself comfortable in front of the computer. She wore an oversized hoodie with her hair up in a cute bun. The simple, yet expensive earrings, elevated the humble fashion to effortlessly chic. She had a no-makeup makeup look to hide the few spots of acne that had made an appearance on her chin recently, and the makeup had the additional benefit of concealing the dark circles under her eyes. She only had to appear natural looking on screen. In reality, the company would rake her over the coals if she actually appeared with no makeup in front of fans. Her bare face, with its smattering of freckles and light acne, did not quite meet the carefully curated image her manager had worked so hard to craft.  

Pasting her signature bright smile on her face, Joo Mi started her live fan video. In less than five minutes, she had more than 100,000 viewers watching her talk about the new plushie a fan had sent in. Joo Mi monitored the comments and answered questions for the 30-minute weekly update. Most of the comments were sweet, expressing adoration and gratitude. 

Others, however, made her want to cry or scream at the camera. The sexually suggestive comments or worse, the threats, always made her skin crawl. Most of the time she could ignore them and would let the company handle flagging the worrisome commenters, but it seemed like the unseemly comments were becoming more and more common. Or perhaps Joo Mi was just more sensitive to them after some of her recent disturbing fan encounters. 

4YOU’s fame had recently reached new heights, and there were certain fans who took the group name a bit too literally. One sasaeng had latched onto her hand at the last fan signing and had to be pulled away by a security guard. The guy insisted Joo Mi was meant to marry him as he’d been an avid fan since her trainee days. The creepiest part was he was at least twice her age. 

On the one hand, the attention and adulation were flattering. Witnessing fans crying over her performance and screaming for her attention was intoxicating. Joo Mi couldn’t believe how much people were willing to pay to see her dance and sing. It was truly a dream come true, and it was a dream she’d been working hard for the last nine years - since she was 13 years old.

At 13, being an idol seemed like a fantasy - the ultimate ticket to success. If you could debut with a winning group, you were nearly guaranteed fame and fortune. As a child who had just barely entered her teenage years, these two aspirations seemed like the most important things in the world. 

As a 22-year-old, Joo Mi now understood there was so much more to the idol industry than fame and fortune. Yes, she was rich and successful, but stardom came with a steep cost. Her free time was extremely limited thanks to the demands of their tour and training schedules, not to mention the variety and other publicity shows. Joo Mi couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone to the movie theatre with friends, and it had been more than a year since she’d been home to visit her family. 

Joo Mi also had quite a fortune saved in her bank accounts but didn’t expect she’d get to use too much of it until she was closer to 30. This was the age most idols started to retire and change up their careers to have a bit more freedom. That was still eight years out, though. 

The latest wave of obsessive fans had also left Joo Mi feeling unsettled and dirty. The over-sexualization of her body and the AI-generated nudes that were circulated online were enough to make Joo Mi question her decision to become an idol. The adoring eyes of her fans didn’t seem quite so sweet anymore. Instead, they looked hungry. 

They wanted to devour every bit of her until there was nothing left but a husk of a girl. 

“I ♥️ you, Joo Mi!”

“Ur earrings are so cute! Where can I buy?”

“Why can’t I be as beautiful as you”

“You’re gorgeous, but you should show more skin ;)”

“Joo Mi - I’m 4YOU!”

“You’re my favorite”

The comments kept flooding the screen as Joo Mi smiled into the camera. The words of affection, lust, desire, hatred, gratitude, greed, envy, and longing scrolled across the screen, all the while Joo Mi’s smiling face appeared underneath them all. Answering their comments with a practiced laugh that masked a growing fear that this was all a big mistake.