Can you keep a secret?

I don’t think I’d really thought about what had happened that night and the subsequent fall out until I was sat facing my best friend at a quiet little Trattoria off San Marco’s square. Annie was looking good; she had lost a ton of weight after training for and completing the London Marathon the month before.

‘I had better stop stuffing my face. I am still in training diet mode but without the training.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t worry, you are looking fab! When in Venezia?’

‘Ha! Thanks! I’m so pleased I managed to shift four stone.’

‘That’s amazing, cheers to you’ as she raised a large glass of Aperol spritz. ‘It’s so beautiful here. I love that I can get a boat over to work in the morning. so amazing and so much nicer than my usual commute’

‘It feels like we’re in a film.’

‘I know, we’ll see Gwyneth and Jude Law in a minute. Ha’

‘Ha, you wish.’

Annie gulped a large mouthful of wine and then her expression shifted to serious mode.

‘I need to tell you something Mels.’

‘Ok anything, you can tell me anything.’

‘Well, you remember last year at Chris wedding?’

How could Mel forget. It was an amazing three- day wedding full of Sikh traditions and so much dancing. Annie’s brother Chris was marrying Gurpreet, his former boss which initially had surprised everyone. That and the fact that she was 15 years older than Chris.

‘Yes of course, it was amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever drunk that much whiskey.’

‘Well after I met Sunny at Chris’ wedding last year, I stayed in touch with him.’

Mel and her husband Kevin had found the encounter between Annie and Sunny incredibly awkward. Not only was his English poor but Annie was completely sozzled and seemed to launch herself at Sunny in front of her fiancé Peter. Peter had hollered ‘Annie, Annie’ repeatedly but she didn’t seem to listen. At this point, Mel had waded in and taken her up to bed for fear of a truly inappropriate situation escalating. It wasn’t fair to Peter. He was a bore, but he didn’t deserve that.

‘He flew over to Birmingham and Reading for a couple of weekends and we met up.’

‘What. What did Peter think you were doing?’

‘I used Sian as an excuse. I said she was she wanted a few weekends away for some music therapy thing and wanted a bit of company.’

‘And he suspected nothing?’

‘No, I should have known then. I can’t work out if he had just stopped caring by that point.’

Melinda felt quite bad for Peter. He wasn’t her cup of tea, but he was solid and committed to Annie.

‘Are you in touch now?’

‘Well, this is the thing. Last December, when I didn’t come home for Christmas…it was because I was pregnant.’

‘Holy fuck Anne. Why didn’t you say anything at the time? When did this happen?’

‘I just didn’t know what to do. I was technically still engaged to Peter, and I thought Mum, Dad and Chris would shit the bed if they found out.’

‘So, what did you do? Did you tell Sunny? What did he say?’

‘He said I should keep it and he would marry me.’

‘How would that work? you’d have to move to India.'

‘Exactly, he said we could get married and then we would live with his mum and sister in Jaipur so in the end I didn’t know what to do so called Sian.’

Sian, one of many moronic friends she seemed to give the time of day.

‘Yes, you were saying…Sian….’

‘She convinced me to see a doctor and get rid. He gave me a tablet to take then and there. It was awful. I experienced contractions and then later that day I flushed it out of my system.’

Mel started to feel rage at the thought of how stupid she had been but still tried to say the right thing.

‘I’m sorry you went through that alone. ‘

‘Sian has been amazing. I don’t know what I would have done without her. I just didn’t think I could say anything about it…you had just had Rory and I thought it would be too hard for you.’

‘I can’t believe it. How do you feel about it now?’

‘I do feel guilt all the time and I’ve been feeling quite depressed about it recently, what with not being with Peter and all I can think about is the date next month when he/ she would have been born’.

‘You can’t think like that and realistically you’re not in a position to have a baby. Not with him. What would you have done? Gone to India and lived with his mother. We wouldn’t see you again. ‘

‘Well exactly. I wasn’t ready for that but maybe it was my only chance.’

‘There will be other opportunities. You’re still young and not that bad looking.’ She smiled as she could see she was starting to well up. 

‘Please Mel. I have one request. Please don’t say anything…even to Kevin.’

Mel wasn’t sure how she’d keep this a secret from her husband or that she liked being told what not to say to her best friend.

‘Yes of course’

‘Thanks Mel. Anyway, sorry to lay it on you when I’m invading your work trip and we’re meant to be enjoying some time together.’

I know, let’s get some wine and enjoy wondering the streets of Venezia in a bit! 

Mel was an immunologist and had been invited to present at a mucosal immunology conference in Venice. She had suggested her best friend join her for the weekend as she knew she had wanted to finally ‘live’ after ending her engagement to Peter after 8 years together. He was a perfectly ‘nice guy’, reliable, ran his own business but she never felt her best friend had really felt the ‘wow’ factor. 

Mel spent the weekend in conference sessions and after presenting her paper, met Annie for an aperitivo or three but she became increasingly worried about Anne as she had a habit of trying to throw herself at any man in any setting. She wondered if the decision to end the pregnancy was impacting her more than she said.

***

Mel was never more pleased to return from a work trip. As she walked through the door, Kevin was cooking a delicious rump steak, glass of wine in one hand and Rory snoozing at the front in his BabyBjorn carrier.

‘My boys’ she showered them with kisses and with that Rory started crying.

‘I know, mummy is awful for leaving you..I’ll feed him upstairs and then be down.’

As she breastfed Rory and put him down to sleep, she couldn't stop thinking about the difficult decision her friend had taken but also found it incredibly upsetting now that she had Rory.

As she entered the kitchen, she showered Kevin with kisses.

‘Ooh you’ll have to go away more often.’

‘oh, don’t say that. I missed you both so much.’

‘Dare I say, how was wild Annie?’

‘She was ok, but she’s asked me not to share something with you. If I say, do you promise not to say anything to anyone?’

‘of course, you know I have no friends to share with.’

‘Ha! You’re so kind. Well, I didn’t realize but after Chris’ wedding, she stayed in touch with Gurpreet's cousin. You know, the one she kept throwing herself at?’

‘Oh yes, what was his name?’

‘Sunny’

‘Aah yes…where did they meet? Somewhere with Peter?’

‘No, of course not, they snuck away for weekends.'

‘And Peter didn’t suspect anything?’

‘No, anyway, you know last Christmas, she said she wasn’t coming home. It was because she discovered she was pregnant with Sunny's baby.’

‘Oh god’

‘I know and she obviously hasn’t kept it.

‘Shit. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Especially now we have Rory and he’s so perfect in every way.’

‘I know, it makes my stomach turn.’

Well maybe it was all a reaction to the wedding. Sometimes these occasions confirm how happy you are in your own life.’

‘God you’re so sexy when you psycho-analyse the situation. Let’s take this wine upstairs.’

A few weeks later, Mel was running down the Holborn Road to meet Chris for dinner. As well as being Anne’s younger brother, Mel and Chris had been at university together and had been the best of chums since.

‘Hello young man’

‘Sorry I’m always late for everything in London. Why does it take so much longer to get anywhere?’

‘Well, you’re here now…’

‘cheers’ as they both enjoyed very large glasses of Riesling.

‘you’re looking good Chris. Married life clearly suits you. I haven’t seen you since your wedding, have I? was it everything you hoped?’

‘It was. It was so amazing. It was exhausting but it went in a flash.’

‘And how’s Gurpreet?’

‘she's good thanks. How are your gang?’

‘Good thanks, Kevin and Rory send a big hug to you both.’

‘Aah Rory is such a gorgeous squidge and yes, we would love to be godparents. Thank you so much. Has Annie accepted her godmother duties?’

‘ergh. Not quite. I haven’t actually mentioned it to her. I'm just worried with everything that she’s been through recently. Breaking up with peter etc that it will be too much.’

‘oh, I'm sure it would be something positive to focus on.

‘you're right, I'll call her at the weekend.’

‘How was your trip to Venice? What goes on tour stays on tour?’

‘Mmm, not quite, I was busy most of the weekend with the conference which was fab and then we drank and ate too much.’

‘it’s just Gurpreet and I are a bit worried about something.’

‘Oh what?’

‘Well, I know everyone was quite pissed at our wedding, but we noticed that Annie was really quite wasted and saw her chatting to Gurpreet's cousin, sunny quite a bit. Anyway, Gurpreet's mum rang us the other day in floods of tears saying ‘sunny has broken off his arranged marriage but won't say why. I just wondered if Annie had anything to do with it. Has she said anything to you?’

Mel thought for a moment and despite loving both Annie and Chris equally said.

‘I do know something Chris but if I tell you something, do you promise to not say anything to Annie?’