Inside the Mind

Hello, my name is Magyk. I am making this recording to record my experiences for my own record of healing. It is the 11th day of December and today, on my healing journey my counselor asked me to go on a meditative journey to the inside of my mind or at least how I view the inside of my mind. This should be interesting. That’s what I plan to do. Let’s breathe. In…and out…in…and out…

Everything goes dark. Now I find myself standing at the entrance to a huge labyrinth. Well, this isn’t what I was expecting. When I was younger I always saw the inside of my mind as an office or a train on a mountainside. I was definitely not expecting a dark and scary looking labyrinth. Yet here we are. I take a deep breath and enter slowly. I run my hand along the walls as I take turn after turn. Once I feel totally lost I start to notice that there are doors at random spots of the labyrinth. Where do they go?

I approached one. It almost blends in with the blackness of the walls but its smooth where the walls are made of brick or stone. I turn the knob and push it open. I stare into the blackness. I walk forward into the dark room. As I do it suddenly brightens and comes into focus. 

I appear to be watching a movie. As it plays I recognize that it is a memory from my childhood. The day I got my first pet, a dog that I named Lulu.

As I open more and more doors I notice that they are all different. Some hold memories…some good and some bad. Others seem to have monsters in them which I learnt to escape quickly from. And others seem to have floors that give away as you enter them. After a few almost falls I learnt to be a little more careful as I entered the rooms.

It feels like I have been here hours when I finally found the center. It was a big open square area with 3 doors on one side. These doors are different. I walk over to the door on the left. It is gray and metal and there is a small opening near the top. I peer inside but all I can see is a field with a tree in the center standing over a grave. The gravestone was too far away to read but it was surrounded by beautiful black roses.

Next I go to the door on the right. It looks very similar to the one in the left but when I peer inside I see a snow covered cliff. On the other side of the cliff I can see a small village underneath a rainbow sky. 

I back away and move to the one in the middle. This is the one I feel the most called to. It seems to be made of a heavier metal but its all beat up. There are chains covering the door. The window at the top is barred. I look inside but all I see is a small room with a cot but it is empty.

I feel called to open it so I begin prying at the door. After several attempts and much struggle it starts to come open. Once its open enough for me to slip through I do. It looks like someone has been kept here…but who? And where did they go?

I sit down on the cot. My eyes feel heavy. All this wandering had made me tired. I lay down and close my eyes. 

I do not know how long I slept but when I awoke I was no longer in the room. The cot was now in the middle of a white desert. I stand up and looks around. I don’t know were to go so I just start walking.

After a few steps in hear a sound. I turn to see what it is and the ground is beginning to fall behind me. It is almost unbelievable. The ground isn’t just collapsing it almost looks like pixels falling. I begin to feel a sense of dread as I watch the cot fall and then turn to run. I keep running until I reach a cliff edge. I barely stop before going over. The ground all around me falls. 

It feels almost surreal as it comes to a stop leaving me standing on the last patch of ground. Down below nothing but endless darkness. There are blue butterflies everywhere. They float peacefully above me. As I watch them they start to land on me. Usually this wouldn’t be a problem because I love butterflies. However, these butterflies fill me with a sense of dread. I just know that if one lands on me I will fall. As I am shooing them from above me I forget to watch the ground and one of them lands on the ground near my feet and then suddenly the ground gives way and I fall.

As I fall into the darkness I can feel it wrapping itself around me. I feel it inside me, wrapping around my brain and slithering through my veins. I feel a power I haven’t felt in a long time…my power…I feel alive…

With a deep breath I come out of my meditative state. The shadows dance around me and wrap around me giving me a beautiful cloak. They dance across my lap providing an elegant sword. I can feel their power rushing through me. The gift of the labyrinth. My power coursing through my veins. 

I can barely remember a time I felt like this. How could they take this away from me? My nature…my being. They were afraid of what I would do…and perhaps they should be. Power like this could bring great good or evil. I know I can bring good into this world but what if I fall into darkness? Perhaps I should have left it in the labyrinth…or perhaps falling into darkness is exactly what I need to do to resurrect this dying world.