Amelia

The dim hanging lights would creak with every step. The small papers fall off the wall with every gust of wind. With every step taken the school breaks down. I hate this school. Amelia Stewart hated school. She hated the white brick walls and the small drab library nobody used. She hated the students, the teachers, the guidance, the principal, and the custodial staff. But she loved the nurse. The nurse, a 20-year old college student, working at Jefferson High School on the weekday was perfect. Her name was Phoebe Brandt and she was kind, down-to-earth and she had the dry type of humor Amelia wished for. Amelia was as strung up as a grand piano, she hated dumb jokes, and hated the sharp pain in her chest she got when she laughed. When Amelia was with Phoebe she felt calm, she loved every joke Phoebe would utter and she never stopped laughing, even when her chest hurt. 

Consequently, Amelia was always sick. Her teachers soon found that Amelia was extremely sensitive to bright lights, cold temperatures, hot temperatures, computer screens, loud noises, cardstock paper, certain classmates raising their hand, and popcorn reading. Amelia was always in the nurse’s office. On the 4th day of October Amelia had a specifically bad migraine because the teacher turned on the lights while Charlie raised his hand to ask another dumb question. She laid down on the 50% blue and 50% plastic nurse bed as Phoebe sat next to her organizing the school bandaids. Amelia looked up at the white plaster wall after she talked to Phoebe. “I hate it here,” Amelia said

“Why is everyone so annoying?” Phoebe started to grin as Amelia complained 

“No seriously, I might actually have a headache this time.” the room went silent 

Phoebe turned her chair towards Amelia, her eyes bulging 

“Do you need Advil?” She sarcastically asked. Amelia let out a small chuckle before she grabbed her chest and solemnly turned towards Phoebe. 

“I need to leave.” Phoebe paused 

This was not a light-hearted comment for Phoebe. Amelia had brought it up before. 

Amelia wanted to leave. She didn't just want to leave her school, or her town, she wanted to leave her state or even her country. Amelia wanted to move to Italy or France, or anyplace that would take her. She talked to Phoebe about starting a small family practice in the heart of the city. She wanted to be a nurse like Phoebe. She wanted to be with Phoebe more than she wanted to be with herself. 

Phoebe wanted to stay. She wanted to become a pediatrician for a big and bustling hospital. But she loved the school. She wanted to work there for as long as she could, sometimes she would imagine herself staying at Jefferson High School forever. She hated it when Amelia wanted to leave. Mostly because she loved the school, but mainly because Amelia made her want to leave. She wanted to leave with Amelia more than she wanted to stay with herself. And this particular day, Phoebe felt for Amelia more than she ever had before. “Why don’t we leave?” Amelia asked 

“I love it here!” Phoebe replied, in a high pitched voice

“No you don’t, you like the comfort.” Amelia sternly responded 

“I like the coffee, I like the computer keyboard, I like your sophomore English teacher, I like th-” 

“Mr. Kefler gave me an F y'know.” 

“And that’s exactly why I like him,” Phoebe said as she tried to push a smile Amelia didn’t even try to smile. She took a deep breath and looked into Phoebe's pale blue eyes. 

“What will you do when I leave?” Amelia asked 

Phoebe pondered for a moment, unable to think of a joke she realized she had to tell the truth 

“I’ll ask you to stay.”

“Why would you ask me if you know I want to leave?” Amelia questioned

“You ask me to leave.” Phoebe rebutted 

“Because you will still be happy in Italy, I will never be happy at Jefferson High school”

“Italy?” Phoebe asked 

“Or France, or Germany, or Argentina!” Amelia’s eyes grew large and larger as she thought about leaving. 

“What about California,” Phoebe asked 

“California?” Amelia questioned 

“I've always wanted to go to California, start a practice, helping families” Phoebe felt defeated as she let go of her plan. 

“Yes, yes, yes” Amelia felt a rush of excitement

And that was it, Phoebe and Amelia were ready to go to California. They found an apartment, near a vacant building, and a small private school. Amelia couldn’t even bear to finish her last semester of senior year at Jefferson. In 2 weeks they were ready to move to California. Well, Amelia was ready. 

Phoebe didn’t want to leave. She was sure she was ready when she packed her bags, and when she rented the apartment. But, sitting at home, looking at her 2 weeks notice she couldn’t turn it in. She didn’t want to ever turn it in. How could she? Amelia made her want to leave, but if Amelia was willing to give up the school, was she willing to give her up as well. Phoebe had never once thought of Amelia in such a dark light. What if she just didn't leave? Was it betrayal? 

The last thing she would ever want to do is to betray Amelia. Even worse than leaving her she couldn’t betray her. Amelia hated everything, and Phoebe worried that without her, Amelia would do worse than go to California. And yet, she wondered why she had to give up her life. California, Amelia, it felt more like a wistful thought and a poorly edited postcard than reality. 

414-497-3676. The phone rings. A quiet young voice answers the phone. “Hello?” a  woman asks politely, while the sound of a baby crying and a toddler screaming plays in the background. 

“Can I speak to Mr. Kelfer please?” Phoebe asks

“Who is this?” The women replies 

“It’s Phoebe Brandt, the school nurse, I need to talk about a certain student Mr. Kefler had” 

The women's voice went silent for a second, Phoebe held onto the phone tightly as she wanted for a sound, any sound.

“Phoebe?” A young scruffy voice blares through her ear

“Hello Mr. Kelfer” Phoebe quietly replies 

“What student do you want to talk about?” Kelfer asks

“Amelia Stwart” 

“What about her?” 

“Why did you give her an F?” Phoebe asks “What was so bad she deserved an F?”

“Um, why do you want to know” Kelfer asks, Phoebe could hear the confusion in his voice

“Just tell me” she stuttered

“She lived in a fantasy world, I would ask her to write about Shakespear and she would tell me a story about her and a girl named Polly starting a small practice in Italy, she said it related to Shakespear because he wrote “A Midsummer Night's Dream” and that was her dream” Kelfer explained. “Thank you” Phoebe briefly replied before she hung up. She didn’t know what to feel, she wanted to be part of Amelia’s dream but she knew that a dream never lives up to reality. 

Phoebe stared at her phone, hands trembling. She wanted to make one more call, but she didn’t have the strength to. Her hands shook as she pressed onto Amelia’s number. She waited for an answer. “Phoebe?” She hears that same familiar voice 

“Phoebe?” Amelia repeats 

“Why do I have to be in your Italy dream? Phoebe abruptly asks

“What?” Amelia asked, she had never heard phoebe talk this way

“I can’t go, why do I have to be the dream, why can’t it be someone else” Phoebe mutters in one short breath, her words undistinguishable to anyone except for Amelia

“Listen, I need you, and you need me. It’s us against the world and I can’t imagine being so far away from you. I’ll miss your graduation and you will miss mine, you will be too busy to fly out for my wedding, I’ll never get to see your 3 kids, we will forget to retire with each other, and we will spend our ending days apart and alone” Phoebe let out a single sigh 

“And worst of all” Amelia continued 

“We won’t even remember each other to care, don’t you see, this is the only wa-” Phoebe hung up. 

She sat for a moment. She thought about her future, her kids, her picket fence, her drive to work. Then she thought about Amelia, starting a practice, having an apartment in California, living a dream. She was stuck. After a year's worth of stress, crying, chocolate, and drinks, Phoebe made her decision. She turned over to her two weeks' notice and hoped to never see it again.