My Own Worst Frenemy

“Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.” The words whispered through Oshima’s lips.

“Can you stop it?” Kelly’s words not as quiet but still in a hushed tone.

“Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.”

Kelly just shook her head and watched as Oshima’s mouth curled up at both ends. She never was very fond of Oshima, but she promised James that she would try to be nicer. She didn’t have much choice since James was her best friend and Oshima was his most recent prey. Kelly wasn’t jealous of Oshima as much as she was protective of James. And Oshima was not the first target of James attention, but he had kept her around the longest.

“The party was nice the party was – “ Oshima’s words were cut short by a loud booming sound that seemed like it was right beside the two of them. They both froze as they stared at each other. The dislike that Kelly had in her head was gone. All she could think about was how if she sat still enough, she might just turn invisible. The two of them sat motionless for what felt like a hour. While they sat there, Kelly thought about how all of this even happened.

It was the day before Halloween when Kelly saw James and Ohsima walking down the hallway at school. She gave James a little smile and a wave as she walked pass the couple. Kelly knew to give James his space while he was with one of his targets. She walked a few steps before she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to see James smiling.

“Hey, are you still gonna go with us to that party?” He always asked questions with such energy it was hard for most people to say no to him. Kelly knew him better than most. His charm didn’t have the same effect on her that it had on girls like Oshima.

“Yeah, I guess,” Kelly said with a shrug. If for no other reason, Kelly had to be there to keep an eye on James. He could get a little carried away at parties. It was like that since they were eight. They would both go to a birthday party and James would find a way to break something. If it wasn’t another kid’s new toy, it was his own wrist or a window. One way or another, James seemed capable to find something that would take the attention away from the host and put the spotlight on himself. Most of the time, he didn’t even realize that he did anything until it was too late. More recently, he went to a party with a girl named Melody and left with a girl named Heather. The next day he met Oshima and they had been together for the past month.

Kelly had a few boyfriends in her past. Most of them were James’s teammates. She would flirt enough and do just enough to get a ride somewhere or a quick meal. But there was only so many times that you can listen to a guy talk about himself or touch you with one of his six arms before it isn’t worth it anymore. She would ignore that jock and he would be feeling up some other poor girl the next weekend.

 There was one guy that Kelly would consider a boyfriend, but she would never tell him that. That guy was named Clarence. Clarence was not athletic, popular, or even very cute. But Clarence was putty for Kelly to mold as she saw fit. Not even James knew about Clarence. He was a complete nerd, minus the glasses. He would tell her how much he liked her, and she would make sure he knew that what they had was not like that. It was only for fun and practice.

Kelly did like Clarence, but she would tell herself that she needed to keep it open so if another opportunity came along it wouldn’t get in the way. She had gone out with a couple other people while with Clarence, but they would eventually annoy her. When they did, she would go to Clarence to get out a little frustration and then continue with her day.

Now here she was, stuck with Oshima in a impromptu stare down. A few seconds had gone by and although she was wanting to think about something happy or pleasant, all that was in her head was that song.

“Who let the dogs out?” Kelly whispered the words as softly as she could, and it seemed to break the tension. Oshima cracked another little smile and blinked. Kelly thought to herself, “Ha! I won.” A second later they both looked up and heard little more than the typical sounds of the night. The night sky took Kelly back to the past few hours.

It was Devil’s Night, October thirtieth, and there was a party at One of James’s friends. The name Chad, Brad, Brett, Chet, or some other douche name was hosting the party. And judging by the size of the house, he was probably Douche the Third or Douche Junior. Kelly walked up to the house and watched as every player of every sport was easily represented through the windows. She stood at the front door long enough to take in a deep breath, then she went inside.

As Kelly walked through the house, she saw a couple guys that she went to first base with, three guys that made it to second, and the one guy who made it to third base. She kept walking through to the back yard and caught sight of James and Oshima. And standing right beside Oshima was Clarence.

For a second, Kelly thought about turning around and started to before closing her eyes and heading back to the three most unlikely candidates. Once there, Kelly looked around nervously, pierced her lips, and gave nonverbal greetings, looking like a bobblehead on a bumpy road.

“Soooo, how’s it going?” Kelly tried to look at all three of them while asking the question.

“Hey, Kell, look who we ran into,” sarcasm was oozing out of James’s words. “I think Clarence here is in one of your classes.”

“Oh yeah, I thought he looked familiar.” She tried not to look directly at Clarence, but when she did, a little smile crept onto her face. “How’s it going, Clarence?”

Clarence gave a shrug and a crooked smile towards Kelly before turning away and looking into the darkness behind him. James was zoned out on the dance music that was playing through the entire house. Oshima, needing to be the center of attention, entered the conversation in her typical energetic way.

“James, I forget something at my house, can you get me a ride? If not, it’s no big deal. I can just walk. It’s just through the cemetery. No big deal.

“What?” James responded without looking at her.

“I need to grab something from my house, can you at least walk with me?”

“Kell, can you go with her? I’m waiting on something.”

“I can wait her for your whatever,” Kelly responded with a quickness.

“No, I don’t think that would be the best idea.” James started to shake his shoulders as the Baja Men were pumping.

Come on James. I need you to go with me,” Oshima said. There was frustration in her voice. She turned and started to head towards the darkness. As she did, Kelly realized that Clarence had left. Clarence lived close to Oshima so Kelly decided to walk with her and take a little detour on the way back to check on Clarence.

“Hey, Oshima. Wait up!” And Kelly jogged to catch up with Oshima.

The two of them crossed a field that was before the cemetery. When they made it to the edge of the cemetery, Oshima stopped.

“Maybe we should just go around,” Oshima said. A tinge of nervousness in her voice. She looked over at Kelly and Kelly glanced at her. If they went around the outside, there would be no way for Kelly to check on Clarence.

“Nah, we should just go through,” Kelly had her brave voice on. “If you’re afraid, we could just run all the way across.”

“I don’t know, Let’s just go around.”

“We can run and I’ll hold your hand.” Kelly meant it as a joke. She never really wanted to make any connection to Oshima, but before Kelly could tell her it was a joke, Oshima grabbed her hand and began to pull her into the graveyard. Kelly wanted to shake her hand loose, but decided that it would be a few minutes of awkwardness and then she could check on Clarence.

They bothtried not to step on any of the graces, but one would pull one way, then the other would tug the other way. They almost seemed to take turns stepping clear of the sacred ground as they ran. Then it happened, Kelly pulled one way and Oshima pulled the other way at the same time. Kelly’s foot hit soft ground and caused her to turn awkwardly, pulling Oshima even faster towards her. At the same time, they both began to fall, but instead of landing on someone’s final resting place, they fell in the future resting place of someone more recently departed.

Oshima hit the ground hard, but Kelly was lucky and landed on something soft. She was fortunate enough to be the second one in the grave and fell directly on top of Oshima. And even luckier, Oshima was unconscious

Kelly pushed herself off of Oshima and went to stand up. Her ankle did not cooperate, and it caused Kelly to fall back against the foot of the grave. Dirt sprinkled down on her head. She jumped and tried to grab hold of the edge of the opening, but the dirt slipped through her fingers. She landed on bother of her feet but the one still didn’t want to stand so she fell against the side wall this time. More dirt fell o her.

She put her back against the wall and slid down ito a squat, placing both of her hands into her face. Kelly began to let out a few tears, some from frustration, some from pain. She did not know what she was doing. She was stuck in a hole in the ground with the one person that she never wanted to be alone with.

It was another minute of solitude before Oshima came around. She pushed herself up from the ground and sat on the far side of the grave, brushing dirt off the side of her face.

“What happened?” Oshima asked while shaking her head for some form of clarity.

“I guess we shouldn’t have held hands,” Kelly said with a hint of anger in her voice. “or ran.”

It was then that they heard it for the first time. A single pop of a sound. It wasn’t very loud, but it didn’t have to be. They both knew that they were the only people in the cemetery and the softest of sounds from anywhere would have caused the skin to crawl throughout their bodies.

“Did you hear that?” Kelly asked.

“I think so, but I thought it might have just been inside my head. I can’t get this out of my head.” Oshima said while shaking her head even more vigorously.

Then they sat in silence for a few minutes before Oshima broke the silence with her own rendition of Who Let the Dogs Out.

After the second loud boom and the Uncomfortable silence that followed, Oshima did the most curious of things. She crawled over the dirt, sat down beside Kelly, and placed one of her arms around Kelly’s shoulder. It was going to be okay.

“Let’s try to get out of here.” Oshima had a kind voice that Kelly never noticed, or cared to notice, before. “You’re taller that me, so you should try.”

“I did,” Kelly said in frustration. “The dirt was too soft. Plus, I hurt my ankle. I can’t climb out if I tried.”

“Well, let me try.” And Oshima stood up and tried to jump, but the result was the same either way. Dirt falling down on them both.

“Maybe we could work together,’ Kelly said before she could catch herself and stop. “You can climb up a little higher if you use me as a step. Then you might be able to get out.” Kelly pressed herself into the small side of the grave and Oshima fumbled her feet onto Kelly’s limbs and finally up to her shoulders.

Oshima pressed against Kelly’s shoulders with force. It almost made Kelly fall, but Kelly caught herself in time to give Oshima a firm enough base to get her stomach on the edge of the grave. She started to flip her leg onto the grass when Kelly heard a loud high-pitched ting from above her. A second later, Oshima slammed hard against the ground. Kelly jumped up as fast as she could and looked at Oshima before turning to the area above her where Oshima was just a few seconds prior.

Kelly saw a shadowy figure standing on the edge of the grave. In one had was a large metal pipe. His other hand tossed a pie tin into the grave that landed on Oshima's back.

"Oh ladies," the man's voice was soft and cool. "Usually there is nothing that I like more than apple pie, but it's all gone now. I guess you'll have to do."

The last thing that Kelly heard was the ping of the pipe and the thunder that accompanied the lightning that Kelly saw as the man brought the pipe down upon her skull.