9 comments

Sad

Warning: Contains suicidal thoughts


I once went to heaven.


It felt like a soft, pastel yellow. It had a glow that you couldn't describe, no one could express it. It was so...


Different


So idyllic, no worries at all. I had always thought of coming here, a little trip that would last forever. I would only feel peace. Happiness. Everything I was missing on Earth. This met my expectations at an overwhelming level.


And most important of all, I could see her.


The only person that ever cared about me, the only person that heard me. Saw me. Knew when something was wrong.


And yet, God chose her. HER. He chose HER to be his companion up in heaven, even though he had 101 billion others.


God probably hates me.


He gave me these ignorant parents, these non-existent friends. And the one thing that finally made me happy got snapped away, stolen by him.


And she...


She was perfect in every way. Straight-A student. The prettiest girl at school. A great athlete. Head of the student council. She had done nothing wrong. She had every reason to live. Her friends loved her, our parents loved her... I loved her.


It should've been me.


Please, God. Let me stay. Just let me have this one choice.


--


As the wind surrounded me, the reality of life hit me once again.


That fictional world had left me, God declined me once again. But yet left me, a girl on a cruise ship with the cold winter air.


He gave me a choice.


And He must've been almost certain that I was going to jump. To throw this life away. I was almost certain.


But then fear overcame me, a little voice in my head that whispered.


This won't stop life from getting worse. It just prevents it from getting better.

July 19, 2021 01:49

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9 comments

Triniti Brown
13:49 Jul 29, 2021

Wow!! I loved this story, it actually made me very emotional because I've felt a lot of these things, and thought a lot of the same thoughts. It is a beautiful story and I actually like the fact that it is so short, it adds something to the feel of it. Something about simplicity is so beautiful. Thank you so much for writing about something that is hard for a lot of people to talk about.

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𝔻okenai *
21:47 Jul 29, 2021

Tysm!!! Yeah, I really like to write about things that occur in real life, it's just something that pops into my head when I look at the prompts. I really appreciate it ❤️

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Lyn Mc Kinnon
23:26 Jul 28, 2021

Absolutely loved your story and the fact you could tell it so well in such a short time! I felt it in my heart - and related. As a kid my Dad was pronounced dead on the operating table by the Surgeon and he told me about going to Heaven for a visit - and he saw all his loved ones who went before him - he said he made the decision to come back too! Well done 👍 - please keep writing

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𝔻okenai *
21:50 Jul 29, 2021

Thank you!!!! Wow, that's a really sad story, but I'm glad your dad came back to you. I'm sure he made a great choice!! ❤️

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𝔻okenai *
01:51 Jul 19, 2021

Hi guys!!!! This is a really short story, but I decided that I should at least post one. Feedback and critiques are welcome! 🕊Doki

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06:06 Jul 19, 2021

This was a beautiful story and I absolutely loved the simplicity of it. good job! I loved the use of similies in the first paragraph and they made me feel like I was literally in that place. But my favourite part has to be the little quote at the end. Did you make it yourself?

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𝔻okenai *
08:35 Jul 19, 2021

Thx!!!!! It was SUPER short. I'm happy u like it. I should rlly be in tuition rn. Lol, no i didn't make the quote. I reworded smth from the internet. I'll send it to u :)

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22:36 Jul 19, 2021

aight thanks, yeah i think sometimes short stories hit different ya know

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𝔻okenai *
23:03 Jul 19, 2021

ye, sometimes they do

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