Two Blue Lines

Two blue lines. Hi there. I’ve waited for you a long time. Sixty-three periods to be exact. You’re finally there, you’ve finally chosen me as your mother. Make yourself at home, I’ve had everything prepared especially for you. Although shedding a tear sounds much more graceful, I am blubbering, like I’m sure you will do one day soon. I can’t wait to wipe away your tears. You are so incredibly loved. When I turn side-ways I feel like I can see you there already, but I know I ate too much pizza. You’re my little secret for now. Can you feel my hand, little one? These hands can’t wait to hold you and rock you to sleep. For now, I’ll settle for protecting your growing space. I’m going to eat some spinach. I hate spinach, but it’s good for you. I can’t wait to tell your daddy.

Hi little one. I heard your heartbeat yesterday. It’s nice and strong, like your daddy’s. You’ve spent seven weeks in there. The doctor says you’re the size of a raspberry. I love raspberries. I value this time together, before your daddy wakes up. When I can rest my hand on my belly and journal to you. Your daddy worries about you, and me, constantly. While I love him for it, this is where you’re made to be. I will keep you safe. I am mum.

You’ve already spent twelve weeks in there, little one! Everyone’s asking me about your gender, but daddy and I want you to surprise us! We’ll love you either way. I just want you to be healthy. I think you’re a girl. We spend a lot of time together in our early mornings, I just know. I’m your mum, after all. There’s still so much time until you join us out here but we’re already preparing for you. I hope you’ll like monkeys.

You can hear now little one! Our mornings just got a little bit louder. Do you hear my voice? Can you hear me telling you how much I love you? You’re also the size of an avocado, which was what I was craving when I woke your daddy up at 3am last night. You’re a hungry one. I’m going to start reading to you in our mornings, so you can be a smart cookie. My library is big, little one. I can’t wait to go through it with you.

What a way to say hello for the first time! I haven’t peed the bed since I was 4 years old! You had to kick me right in the bladder, didn’t you? Your daddy will not stop laughing, I don’t think I’ll be able to live this down for a while. Already a troublemaker! I can see you now when I look in the mirror, stretching my belly skin. You’re no longer our secret. I already have tiger stripes forming. Your daddy says I’m beautiful, and I believe him.

Halfway! Only four and a half months until I get to meet you little one! Daddy can feel your kicks now, so I value our mornings more than ever. He wants to touch me all the time, and you make me work up a sweat sometimes! Your room is already prepared, we’ve been waiting on you for such a long time, after all. I wonder what I’ll call you. It can’t be little one forever!

I’m the size of a planet now. People think there’s more than one of you in there! You’re so active I’m having a hard time getting good sleep. I have to pee fifty times a day. There’s my exercise, since I can’t walk for too long without my back killing. I guess it’s my payback for not having morning sickness when you first came to me. Our mornings together are getting earlier. I suppose I have to get used to that, but mum is already missing her sleep!

Your hiccups have been a source of laughter for daddy and I, little one. With every one you kick or squirm. My belly goes in a million directions in such a short time. You’re certainly taking advantage of every corner of your space! You’re the size of a large squash now the doctor says. It feels like I’m so much bigger than that! I’ve been craving more foods lately, and I gotta say you have some weird taste, little one. Onions with peanut butter? Your daddy wouldn’t kiss me until I’d brushed my teeth three times and gargled twice.

It’s almost time for you to join us out in the real world, little one! Thirty-six weeks is a long time but take your time. It’s been nice having you with me at every moment. Today, our family is coming over for your shower! You’re going to hear so many different voices today, some of whom you’ve never heard before! And I’m going to have so many hands on my belly. You’re so loved already. Everyone is excited to meet you, though no one more than your daddy and me. There is a bet going whether you’re a boy or girl. I haven’t told anyone I’m sure you’re a girl. You’ll be the first one on daddy’s side, so I’m sure he’ll be very excited!

We’ve finally picked names for you, little one! There’s only a week left until we meet you. We couldn’t decide! If you’re a girl, Sophie Iris. Sophie for your great-grandmother, a passionate, strong, and loving woman I wish you could have met. Iris for faith and hope, which we’d almost given up before you came! If I’m wrong, and you’re a boy, Gabriel Aster, because you’ll be our angel and our star.

Okay little one. It’s show time. I can feel you getting antsy in there. The doctor said I don’t have to come to the hospital until my contractions are more regular, so I’m going to stay home with you as long as possible. I’m sitting in your room right now, rocking in the chair your daddy’s mum rocked him in. I’m sure we’ll spend many mornings here. I can’t wait. Come soon!

Welcome to the world, Sophie Iris! I knew it! You’re so tiny, and you’re so beautiful. My tears are smudging the page again, I’ve come full circle little Sophie. Daddy and I are so happy you’re here. We’ve waited so long. Two blue lines to being here in my arms. It’s time to start your life here!