Diamond Of The Rough

Written in response to: Start your story with a character canceling their plans.... view prompt

12 comments

Contemporary Fiction Mystery

2024 Part 1 

Riley decided against going through with her meeting with Mason at the abandoned warehouse at noon. She already knew she was too involved with this. If I don’t go what will happen? It weighed heavily on Riley’s mind. No, I won’t go. Riley instead chose to stay inside her home. There was nothing Riley could do. She was done helping Mason. She placed a tea kettle on the stove and pulled out a mug, placing a peppermint tea bag inside. As she sat down, her watch chimed, it was now noon. There was no going back now. Mason would know she was done. Suddenly Riley’s phone chimed signaling a text message. She wasn’t frightened by the message at all. She typed in a response with newfound confidence. Then, his texts seem to become more like a threat rather than just a typical Mason response. 


You better get here soon. I don’t tolerate tardiness. 

 Mason  

12:05 p.m.  

I’m not coming, Mason. I’m not coming to you ever again.   

 Riley 

 12:07 p.m.  

You’re making a big mistake. 

Mason 

12:10 p.m. 

I don’t think so, Mason. Just admit that I’m no 

 longer helping you and you're afraid of what will happen. Just give up. 

Riley 

12:11 p.m. 

We’ll see, Riley.  

Mason  

12:12 p.m. 

Riley threw her phone across the couch. A shiver ran down her back. Was he threatening her? BANG! BANG! Riley looked up with a start. Was Mason here? How had he arrived so fast? The banging continued for what seemed like hours. Riley made no move to get the door. Riley was embedded in her spot on the couch. Then, she heard a clicking noise coming from her door. Riley then knew Mason had picked the lock.

"Riley, you didn’t really think I would just let you get away, did you?” Mason asked.

Mason was sporting a black leather jacket, with his favorite dark sunglasses, and smooth hair. Riley had a solemn look on her face. Riley was actually frightened by Mason. She wanted to run but didn’t want to risk it.

“You seem to think you could just walk away, Riley, but it's much more complex. "Mason laughed.

Riley knew she needed to get away before he could hold her hostage. At that moment, the tea kettle whistled.

“I need to get that.” She spoke.

It would be her only opportunity. Mason studied her for a moment, but he said nothing. As she walked up to the kettle, Riley clasped her hands together. Riley turned the stove handle off. She grabbed the tea kettle and poured steaming water over the mug. It’s now or never, Riley thought. She picked up her mug and threw the steaming liquid at Mason. It splashed his jacket and shirt and Mason growled. Riley took off running towards the back door, yanking the door as hard as she could. She ran across her yard towards the side of the house. Riley climbed the fence, but her shirt snagged on a fence post. When she reached the front yard, she took off in a sprint. That was until Riley felt a strange pain in the back of her head. Oh no, Riley thought before she thudded to the ground. 

****** 

Riley awoke with bonds on her wrists and ankles.

“Hmm.” That was the only noise Riley could make with a gag in her mouth.

She looked around, but she couldn’t see much. She was in what seemed to be a truck with two men in the front. The two men appeared to be talking to each other. I need to get out of here, Riley thought. Just then, the truck stopped and one of the men got out. He opened the door to where she was lying down.

“Time to get up, Riley,” Mason said pulling the gag out of her mouth.

“I can't walk these bonds on tied on me.” She spoke.

“You think I’m that dumb, Riley? I know what stunt you’ll try to pull.”

“I won’t I promise. Besides, you could just hit me in the head with that stick again.” “Good point, Riley. I’ll keep that in mind.” Mason removed her bonds while the other man locked the truck.

“Move forward,” Mason commanded.

Here they were, at the abandoned warehouse. No one would find her here; it had been abandoned for 15 years and Mason knew that.

“If you don’t do as I say, things will be bad for you,” Mason said.

The other man took hold of her and tied her arms and waist to a chair.

“You’re going to answer my questions, and maybe I’ll let you go,” She nodded her head in agreement.

“Did you tell anyone about the diamonds, Riley?”

“No!”

“Someone did and now they’re gone. I think you either told someone to steal them from me or you did it yourself.”

“I promise you I didn’t steal the diamonds or have someone else steal them for me.” Mason looked into her eyes and said, “I’m not dumb, Riley. You did something and I know it. Those diamonds are mine.”

“I don’t have the diamonds and I mean that.”

“You want to get out of here? Well, you better cough up my diamonds.” Riley looked away.

It was obvious Mason didn’t believe her, but how could she change his mind? “Come on, Jack, let’s go.”

Mason and Jack left her in the room alone. The warehouse was a large run-down building with broken, stained windows, broken floor pieces, and gaps in the roof. There weren’t many rooms in the warehouse, which meant that Mason and Jack were nearby. Riley had an idea. She began to rock her chair back and forth until her chair fell and hit the floor.

”What was that?” Mason asked.

She was right, Mason was close.

“What are you doing?” Mason asked.

“I had to get your attention.”

“What is it?”

“The diamonds... they’re at the creek.”

Riley hoped Mason would believe this and go to the creek. Then, she could escape while he was away.

“I knew you had them, Riley. I told you; you can’t outsmart me.”

“Jack, untie her and follow me.”

“Wait! Why are you untying me?”

“You’re coming with us, Riley. How else will I find the diamonds without you?”

 Now, she was in a big mess. She assumed they would go off on their own. She hadn’t expected them to take her with them. Riley was worse off than before. What could she do now? 

TO BE CONTINUED.... 

June 04, 2024 22:20

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12 comments

Beverly Goldberg
05:22 Jun 15, 2024

Well, so you are a mystery writer. I've come to this story after reading your great Ton story. Here, I think you need more dialogue. I don't feel I know these people at all. The story line is strong, but perhaps a little more info about Riley--what was she wearing, a quick description of an aspect or two of her looks. Steely gray eyes? Long legs in jeans? A little would go a long way toward making her someone we care about

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15:50 Jun 15, 2024

Thank you for comment. Those are valid points. I will definitely consider your advice in writing the next story in this series.

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Kathleen March
22:46 Jun 07, 2024

Curious: Why not diamond in the rough?

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00:01 Jun 08, 2024

That was my original name, but I think this one makes more fitting. You'll probably understand better after I do the next story of this series.

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Kathleen March
01:58 Jun 08, 2024

Great.

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Mary Bendickson
22:03 Jun 07, 2024

This reads much easier. Thanks for the follow.

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22:08 Jun 07, 2024

Thanks for the comment, and you're welcome.

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Trudy Jas
03:36 Jun 06, 2024

Hey Lady, Read your story. You picked (in my opinion) one of the hardest genres to make believable. And yet, I believed you. :-) I agree with everything John said. Just want to add a few points. Think hard before using the word "and" it works great when you do a series (red, white and blue) but is jarring when trying to pull two or more actions together. She picked up the mug and threw the steaming liquid at Mason. It splashed his jacket and shirt and Mason Growled. Try: Picking up the full mug, she flung the hot liquid toward him. Mason...

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14:19 Jun 06, 2024

Thank you for commenting. I will take use your advice in my next story. This is very helpful for me.

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John K Adams
22:03 Jun 05, 2024

Ms. Stephenburg, you really hit the ground running in this story. I don't know enough about any characters yet, to care deeply about what happens to them, but you promise more will be forthcoming. Dialogue is traditionally broken into paragraphs for ease of reading. Large blocks of type discourage modern readers. Most of the dialogue is believable but some might be a bit repetitive. I've found that reading my stories aloud before posting them helps me to reduce wordiness and improve clarity. Welcome to the site. I look forward to reading more.

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23:12 Jun 05, 2024

Thank you for responding. I appreciate your comment, and I will definitely take your advice in consideration in writing my next story.

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John K Adams
23:53 Jun 05, 2024

Writing can be difficult and tends to be a solitary pursuit. This is a supportive site. No one gets better without feedback. You are welcome.

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