Picnic Panic

They hadn't even reached the place where their date was supposed to be, when Helen started arguing with her boyfriend, Matthew. It was her time of the month, and she was more irritable than usual. Matthew did his best not to let them crash on the highway, with the girl’s yelling in his ear. Everything was supposed to be perfect. Or so he thought.

“This better be nicer than the last place we went to! That waiter at that cafe spilled coffee all over my silk dress! The coffee wasn’t even good anyway-”

“We had to get reservations in order to get into that cafe. I’m sure their coffee was fine-- you do have a certain way of having your drink made.”

“And what about that clumsy waiter! He should pay for staining the dress that I got.”

“Actually, I was the one who bought you that dress-”

“Technically, I bought it too. We share the money in our bank account, remember?”

Matthew didn’t bother answering her until he arrived at their destination. It was a hill, shaded with trees of red, orange, yellow, and brown. It had a lovely view of the city, off into the distance. He took the picnic basket out of the trunk of the car, as Helen’s jaw dropped at the sight. She wasn’t in awe if you’re thinking. Much rather-- great disappointment in her boyfriend for taking her to such a “horrible” place.

Helen refused to have a picnic and stayed in the car, texting her best friends how disappointing her boyfriend was. Matthew looked at her in disbelief, and then dragged her by the arm for them to sit on the orange and white striped blanket that was spread out on the ground. She ripped her arm out of his grasp, causing her to lose her balance. Helen wobbled backward and fell down the hill. Matthew stifled a laugh as he checked to see if she was alright. She was, but she made quite a big deal about it. He couldn’t hold his laugh after she got even more pissed.

“MATTHEW! I NEARLY DIED AND YOU’RE LAUGHING AT ME?!” she screamed.

“Pfft, you didn’t even fall that far. You’re fine.” he chuckled.

The girl stomped up the hill barefoot, holding her high heels as if she was gonna kill him with them. Her hair was a mess after tumbling down the hill, her dirty blonde braids were all a mess. She brushed off her white dress, removing bits of grass and leaves. Matthew was already setting up their picnic, placing their sandwiches and chips on plates. He planned on having a picnic under the autumn trees, watching the sunset. They had arrived early because Matthew was worrying that the traffic would make them late. It was Friday afternoon, and usually, there were lots of cars heading back home from work. But there were none. 

Once Helen made it to the top of the hill, she started chasing Matthew. She ignored the fact that her feet were getting dirty as she ran after him-- she just wanted him to stop laughing at her for “overreacting”. The squirrels watched as they stealthily took their snacks, one by one.

“How long do you think he’s gonna last?” one squirrel asked.

“Hmm. Maybe 5 minutes.” another squirrel snickered. 

For the next few minutes, she continued chasing him while yelling empty threats, until she saw that all of their chips were gone. Helen throw one of her high heels at Matthew, missing him completely, and ended up rolling down the hill. She muttered curses as she went back down the hill to retrieve it. This only made Matthew laugh harder. The squirrels were laughing with him. 

He heard their happy chirps and turned around. They were snacking on their barbeque-flavored chips that were for their picnic. Matthew attempted to whack them with the picnic basket, but that gave them another opportunity to steal another snack, running up a tree, laughing their heads off.

Helen finally made it up the hill again, noticing that even more snacks were missing.

“You fatty! You know I’m bleeding and you just had to eat most of the snacks!” she yelled.

“It wasn’t me! It was the squirrels!” he pointed at the tree. 

The squirrels stop laughing as the terrifying girl got closer, clutching her high heels. They ran higher up the tree with the chips. Helen threw a high heel at them, and surprisingly, hit her target. The squirrel holding the bag of chips dropped it, holding its fluffy tail in pain. It glared at her as it scurried away.

“Oh yeah, I have some more snacks in the car. How do cookies sound to you?” Matthew walked over to the car.

“That...would be nice.” Helen said, regretting how she yelled at him earlier.

When he returned to the hill, he saw a beautiful sight. After all that yelling and chasing, the sun was setting. Helen turned around and saw it as well. She took the box of cookies from Matthew and placed it on the blanket. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he smiled.

“Uh yeah, but not as beautiful as me! Now come on, take a picture of me next to the sunset!” she handed him her phone.

He sighed as Helen posed as if she were going to be on a magazine. Matthew had to redo the picture multiple times because he apparently didn’t do it right. After taking picture after picture, the sun had almost disappeared completely.

“Ugh, just give me my phone. I’ll just take a selfie. Stand next to me, and try not to look too stupid on camera, cuz I’m posting this online.” she snatched her phone back.

Matthew stood next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Maybe this picnic date wasn’t as bad as he thought after all. Suddenly, the camera on her phone flashed, startling him. They ended up falling down the hill. Again. 

“You idiot,” she was about to punch him until she saw the photo, “Actually, this one’s not that bad.”

Instead of her getting angry for falling down the hill again, she and he laughed together. The end.