Sugar Honey Iced Tea

“What do you mean it’s cancelled?” I asked. I dropped my phone down to my side, mid-text to Mum. 

Aaron only repeated himself. “The weather is too bad to fly, apparently. We’ve been moved to Thursday.” He did that annoying head-tilt he did when he felt bad for me; but he was trying at least.

I couldn’t believe this. I would definitely be the worst daughter in history. Perhaps even the worst human entirely. Missing my Father’s funeral because of some goddamn rain. I grasped the phone tighter in my hand, till the screen could have nearly cracked. I couldn’t feel my feet, so I dropped; unsure of where I would land.

Thankfully, it was on the bed. Our hotel room was small, so something would’ve definitely caught my fall. Aaron hadn’t moved yet, instead he still stood beside the window, half leaning. He was unsure how to help me here; which is fair...how do you help a 23-year-old woman stuck in a shitty hotel 3000 miles away from her grieving family? 

My phone buzzed in my hand. It was probably my Mum, we were mid-conversation about flower arrangements, I think? Honestly, it didn’t even matter. How was I going to tell her that I wasn’t going to make it to my own Father’s funeral. Ugh. It even hurts to think it. 

I raised the phone slightly. It wasn’t Mum. It was Kirsty. 

Isy!! Text me ASAP. I’ve seen the weather. 

Shit. The news was getting out. It wasn’t long before Mum would know - or should I tell her? I suppose it would be better if it came from me. I raised my phone slightly. I was scared to unlock it. Kirsty was typing. Shit. 

“It’ll be okay” Aaron said. The first thing he’d said in perhaps minutes, I didn’t know. “We’ll find another way back”

“Don’t be an idiot” I snapped.

I was hasty with my reply. I sighed. “I’m sorry” I said, “I know it’s not your fault. I just…”

I threw the phone on the bed. It bounced on the pillows. Dropping my head into my hands, I could feel Aaron’s presence approaching me. He knelt down and placed his hands on my knees. I instantly felt calmer. 

BUZZ.

I didn’t even turn to face the phone. If it was Kirsty, or Mum or whoever, I didn’t care. I’d already disappointed them. I bet...I bet that at the funeral, they’ll be gossiping about me. The horrible daughter who couldn’t schedule her flights correctly to make it home in time. Aunt Cassie would love that, something to bitch about behind my back. ‘23 years old, works in the city and can’t make a flight?’ she would say, her new, hideous hairstyle in full swing. I wonder if she’d be purple or pink this time? Either way, I’m glad I’m missing that.

Oh god, I’m actually missing it. I can’t shake that thought from my head. I’m not going to be late, or turn up looking disheveled...no, I’m missing it entirely. I’ve never believed in any deity before, but there is definitely something up there with a vengeance plan. Was it because I used to steal Kirsty’s shoes and wear them to school? Was it because I haven’t been travelling home as much as I promised? Is it because three years ago at the work Christmas party I slept with a colleague and haven’t told Aaron? Okay, let’s put a pin in that and come back to it later.

BUZZ.

I was adamant I wasn’t picking it up. It could stay there.

BUZZ.

Goddamnit. 

I leant backwards and collapsed onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling. Fumbling around for the phone, I grabbed in and was met by a tidal wave of messages. Kirsty. Uncle Tom. The Funeral Home. Mum.

SHIT. It had reached Mum. Well, now was the time of reckoning.

Your sister has told me about the flight. Can you call me? Mum xx

Okay, all things considered, that wasn’t bad. I thought she would be fuming, being the eldest child...I HAD to be there. I had to speak, I have the eulogy in my bag. I was prepared. This isn’t me, is it? I didn’t even know what I would say to her if I phoned, how could I apologise? I know the weather is out of my control, but I chose to be on this flight. I could’ve flown four days prior, but I had a meeting that I prioritised over this. Laying on this shitty hotel bed now, I don’t know if it was worth it; I could’ve been home and with my family instead.

“Why don’t you phone your Mum?” Aaron asked, still perching at the foot of the bed. It was like he was in my head, voicing the things I didn’t want to be doing. Wouldn’t be long till he somehow spoke about the Christmas party, if he really was reading my thoughts. 

“What do I say to her?” I asked. I figured getting out of my head could be a good idea. 

“Just talk to her. That’s enough”. He smiled, this time I didn’t hate it. It was genuine, he cared. 

I sat up, still grasping the phone. Suddenly, the room felt really tight. I glanced around, for perhaps the first time since arriving four hours ago. My Father would’ve found this funny, thinking about it. Stuck in a hotel, with two single beds and a dodgy tv screwed on the wall. If you moved too quickly next to it, the bolts would give way and it would fall, no doubt. He always wanted me to follow my dreams, so there’s a level of irony that it was my dream that stopped me from making it home in time. Or, at least it used to be my dream. I think that’s another thing I’ll put a pin in and come back to. 

Okay, phone call. Focus on the phone call. Right now, your Mum needs you. I looked at my phone, and thankfully it had calmed down. I had to compose myself, because even if I wasn’t going to make it home, I could still make my Father’s send-off a success. He deserved that at least. 

I unlocked my phone and dialled Mum.