Wanting. Waiting.

Kevin glanced sideways at her from his seat at the bar. Though he had deliberately positioned himself in front of the mirror that reflected most of the restaurant, the one blind spot was the table to the right. The one she chose to sit at. She was laughing and touching his arm. They were awfully close, and Kevin feared the worst. She always made him feel like this: wanting, needing, exploding with desire. But he never let her know his feelings. If he did, he knew he would lose her forever.

They worked for the same company, but not in the same office. He would see her at tea-break, on their lunchbreak. He timed his arrival and departure to work so that they coincided with hers. It gave him a chance to look at her another couple of times in the day. He dreaded the weekends though. He did not always overhear her plans, so sometimes it was tricky to be in the right place at the right time.

To Kevin, Paula was the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on. It sounds like a clique, but for Kevin it was reality. The first day he met her, she interviewed him for the assistant buyer position. He got tongue-tied and reddened up quite a lot. He was sure he had messed up, until she contacted him the next day to offer him a position. Though the salary offered was less than he hoped for, he took the job. He would get to see her every day.

Any chance to work with her directly, Kevin took it. Many projects came up that required an administrator; Kevin always volunteered though the position was beneath him. Because Paula was in HR, there was a fifty percent chance that she was going to be on the project team. HR have only two in the department and were always required to be on a project.

Working together so often, they got to know each other over the years. They would chat amiably, discuss work issues, talk about the weather; everything but what Kevin wanted to talk about. If he had the nerve, he would know her inner, deepest thoughts. He wanted to get inside her head, get inside her. He wanted to be one with her every night when he lay his head on his pillow, sometimes on the sofa, or in the back seat of his car. One day he started daydreaming in work and “had” Paula right there on his desk. When he snapped out of it, he reddened up, sure that Ciara across from him had seen his thoughts.

Four years on, and here he was watching her chat to this guy who just happened to walk up to her. Some random guy she did not know. But they were getting to know each other now; a bit more than Kevin was comfortable with. He decided to stick around to see what happened. His position at the bar allowed him to be inconspicuous to Paula. She had her back to him, and they had table service.

An hour passed and Paula was getting very drunk. She was very animated and was slurring her speech. Kevin knew that this was out of character. He started to worry about the guy she was with. Had he given her something? Was he plying her with doubles? He watched as the man paid the bill and stood up, put his arm under Paula and helped her walk out the back of the restaurant. Kevin followed quietly.

The restaurant was in a quiet part of town. There was a vast carpark used a lot by truckers, as it linked straight to the M1 motorway. It had a lot of passing trade, but the locals loved it also because there was always room to park, and if you wanted to walk, you could access it via the stony pathway that went through the town park. It was a trendy place to meet for a cocktail, yet convenient and functional for the truckers.

Kevin followed in the shadows. He watched Paula stagger in the arms of this man. He stumbled once or twice with her; he had had his share of alcohol too. Kevin watched them go towards a van near the edge of the carpark, by the laneway into the park. Crouching behind a car, he watched them go into the park; he inched slowly around the car and towards the pathway. He could just make out their shadows in the distance, so he crept from tree to tree, trying to remain invisible. As he got closer, he could see they were kissing. But Paula was barely able to stand. She slumped down on the ground. The man looked around. He took his time. After what felt like one exceptionally long minute, he started to undo his belt. Kevin’s eyes widened. He watched as the man undid his button and pulled down his jeans and his boxer shorts in one swooped motion. He knelt in front of Paula and pulled her legs apart. She was wearing a dress, so he put his hand up under it and yanked at her underwear. He got them down over her knees, then over her ankles. He put them to his nose and took a deep breath in. He then put them into the pocket of his jeans. Looking at his victim, he smiled. He was going to enjoy this bitch!

Kevin’s breath caught in his throat. He was both aroused and afraid as he watched this man do to Paula exactly what he always dreamed of. He was watching his fantasy play out before him; watched her body as he waited for his penis to plough into her. He wanted to feel it, so he took his own penis out. But it felt wrong. This all felt wrong. This was not his fantasy. This was another man with Paula, not him. He searched in the darkness for something hard.

When Paula came round, Kevin was next to her. She was lying on his sofa. She looked strangely at him, wondering what was going on.

“What are you doing here Kevin?” she asked as she sat up quickly. Her head pounded. “What am I doing here? Where am I?”

“You are okay now, Paula. You had too much to drink, that’s all.”

“Oh God, was I a disgrace? Who saw me? Did I make a show of myself?”

“No, no. Nothing like that. You were fine. You got tipsy, so I brought you back to my place to sleep it off.” Kevin replied with a reassuring tone in his voice. He did not want Paula to remember the ordeal he had seen her go through.

“But I was with a man, Jim was his name. Where is he now? Did he see me acting the eejit? I don’t remember much of this evening.”

“The man you were with was a perfect gentleman. When I told him that I was a friend of yours, and that I lived near-by, he was happy for me to take you home.” Kevin did not want to tell Paula the truth about the kind of man he was, and to throw her off he added “He said he would give you his phone number, but because you got so drunk so fast, he did not want a second date.”

Kevin waited while Paula digested this new bit of information. As he hoped, she was mortified and hoped she would never bump into him again.

“He said he was not local and was only passing through. There is an incredibly good chance you will never see him again.” Kevin reassured her.

Kevin knew this man would never come near them again. Kevin had hit him such a blow on the back of the head, he could still hear the crack. The man stumbled and fell against a tree. He was conscious though, so Kevin used his opportunity to warn him never to mention anything about what had happened tonight. If he did, Kevin was going to produce the video of the attempted rape. He told the man he had it all on his phone. Kevin did not have any recording, but he was sure the man was not going to question him. The man simply nodded. Kevin grabbed Paula’s underwear from his pocket and let him watch as Kevin gathered up Paula and took her away.

“Kevin” Paula asked. “Why are my clothes all muddy?”

“You slipped when I was taking you to the car.” He lied.

“God, I am mortified. Again!” Paula put her head in her hands. It was thumping.

Kevin sat next to her on the sofa. He put his hand on her knee and said reassuringly “Paula, you were fine. Honestly. Do not be worried. No one saw. Okay?”

“Okay” she sighed. “I suppose I better be getting home. Will you bring me home please?”

“Of course, but I have a question for you first. Would you mind if I asked you out some time?”

Paula looked at him. She was not sure what to say. She looked away, then looked back at him again. She had a sick feeling in her stomach that if she did not give the right answer, she may never get home; ever. Kevin was always looking at her strangely; always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. She was not a fool. This was going to get ugly one way or another, but for either her or Kevin. She hoped it was the latter and she gave him her reply.