Safely Insane...Or Not

“Dreams allow us to be safely insane every night of our lives,” I murmured to my friend, Julia, as we walked along. We were on our daily morning walk and she just got done telling me about the dream she had last night.

 “You know,” I almost whispered as if talking to myself, “there’s a great deal of  truth to that statement if you really think about it.”

“I agree,” Julia answered thoughtfully, “because if you actually remember your dreams, they can be pretty insane.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to say anything because when it comes to being insane, the dream I had last night takes the cake as far as I’m concerned. I didn’t know exactly how you’d take it since you are in the dream. Do you want to hear it?”

Julia just looked at me with ‘that’ face, so I said, “Okay, it went something like this…

"It all started when I was lying in bed once again tossing and turning; the usual dance I have most nights waiting for sleep to come. I listened to some meditation music, closed my eyes and tried to relax, only I'm really not because the pillow isn't right, my leg itches, the blanket is stuck under my arm; you know how it is when you're begging your body and mind to settle down.

"So I rearranged my pillow, itched my leg, fixed the blanket, and closed my eyes yet again. Nope, sleep was very elusive last night. Not liking this game of 'just relax' anymore, I decided to get up to do something more productive than pretend to go to sleep. I shove off the blankets and opened my eyes, but something was wrong. Not just wrong, but the ultra confusing, what the hell is going on kind of wrong!

"The last thing I remember was me tangled in my blankets unsuccessfully trying to get to sleep, and yet when I open my eyes, it's morning , or at least light enough for me to look around and see my dresser, my Snoopy blanket, and the pretty light blue of my walls. And this is my bed. But it's not dark in here and my bed is, well at least my husband’s side is unused, not a wrinkle to be found, and why is he, Ron, not here, in our bed where he was the last time I turned over?

"Dazed and rather confused, I walk into the bathroom to find everything as it should be. I go through the usual routine; I brush my teeth, splash water on my face, brush and put up my hair, pull on some sweats and a sweatshirt, and head down the stairs where I can hear Ron probably making his ham and egg specialty in the kitchen. Instead I found him singing and drumming on some pots and pans!"

"Wait, he was doing what?" Julia exclaimed as she glanced over at me.

"I know, right! Never have I seen this behavior before, but wait," I laughed, "it gets better! Listen to this..."

"I say good-bye to Ron and he just nods and keeps banging. I know drumming and chanting can be very liberating, but...I head out the door to meet you for our walk. Most people who know me would think this normal, and it was, until it wasn't. I show up at your house and off we go, two buddies on their morning walk. You start to talk about your kids as you so often do, but it's all wrong again! I mean really wrong and I don't know what to say or do. I'm actually in shock as you start to tell me how Sydney didn't pass his driver's license test again and how you were no longer just disappointed, but now you were pissed. Why were you wasting all of your time and money on the tests if he wasn't even applying himself? And on you went; he doesn't do this, he doesn't do that. I don't even remember what you actually talked about being  as dumb-founded as I was."

"So you're telling me that Sydney was my"-Julia stopped walking and stared at me-"my son not my daughter?! I think your dream is even stranger than mine!"

"Indeed, I would have to agree with you! And as we keep walking in my dream, you just keep right on talking not noticing that you have completely lost me. I am not understanding, no it was more than that, I am questioning everything that had happened that morning so far. What is happening? Is this some kind of joke? Everything is normal, but not so at the same time.

"And the strangeness continues as we get back to your house and are wishing each other a good rest of the day when you stop and say that you have finally got around to getting the new key to your front door made for me. I wait on the sidewalk as you go in and come back out with the key or at least what you say is a key. It looked like a small piece of plastic to me, not resembling a key at all. And I'm glad you didn't seem to pay any attention to my jaw-dropping to the ground. I wanted so badly to yell out, "How is this a key?" Luckily I still had enough wits about me to just put the key in my pocket and say good-bye. I didn't want to act as if I was from another dimension or something!

"I walk back home still shaken and deep in thought about my morning so far. As I enter the door, I hear Ron talking to someone which I have to admit, even tough I didn't recognize the voice, was better than his singing and drumming. I walk around the corner

only to see my husband and some young man talking in the kitchen. Before I can say anything, my husband casually turns to me and explains that Jessie needs some money for the school dance and did I have any cash. Now I was beyond confused and I can't imagine how this was prominently displayed on my face. I thought I was having a serious nervous breakdown! You remember, Julia,  before I gave birth to Jessica, Ron and I had toyed with the idea of calling our baby Jessie. I must have stood there and stared blankly for too long because  Jessie  came up to me, gave me a hug, and with a little laugh said he hoped that his mom loved him enough to spare a little cash.

"Julia, I swear on Nikola Tesla's grave I fell to my knees right then and there in my dream! Jessie knelt down next to me and Ron came running over too. They dropped to the ground with me, mouths moving and worry evident in their faces, but I heard nothing.  It was as if I was there, but I wasn't. I'm not sure how to explain it. I gazed up at each of them, got to my feet, and just walked back to my bedroom with Ron and Jessie on my heels. I just stared at my bed having no idea what was going on, who I was, or what to do about any of it. As bits and pieces of the morning ran through my head I guess I had had enough, my body just slid to the ground. The last thing I remembered was looking up into the scared faces of my husband and... my son?"

"Wow, if you made all of that up just to have a stranger dream than me...I have to tell you I'm impressed!"

"Julia, why would I do that? I know I'm competitive, but seriously. All of this really  happened in my dream. And another strange thing, I remembered everything. Usually I don't remember dreaming at all or sometimes I will remember part of a dream, but this was different. It was so real. I can't explain it. The colors were so vivid, the cool of the morning during our walk, the touch of Ron and Jessie when they held me; it was all so real somehow. I know this will sound insane so don't judge, but it's as if I somehow went through a portal to a parallel universe or something."

"If you didn't just make this whole story up," Julia mused with a smirk on her face, "then maybe you did go through a portal and end up in a parallel universe! But luckily wherever you went, you had a husband and a son who loved you very much. It could have been much worse; you were safely insane! Either way, I'm impressed!"

I had been so intent on the telling of my dream, I didn't even realize that we were back at Julia's house. We said our good-byes and I walked back to my house lost again in thoughts of my dream. It just felt so real.  As I was walking up the driveway, I reached into the pocket of my jacket for the house keys and I heard something hit the ground. I turned to pick up what fell and nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. There on the ground was what appeared to be a little piece of plastic. As I stared at it, the saying I had mentioned to Julia earlier during our walk came back to me. Dreams allow us to be safely insane every night of our lives. As I was picking up that little piece of  plastic, I swear it shimmered and, was that another hand?!  But if this wasn't a dream, does that make me just plain insane?