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Contemporary Fiction Funny

Sheila snapped awake to the phone's dull vibration. The dog leaped to the floor, whipped downstairs and barked to be let out.

Four in the morning.

Auntie's faint voice broke up on the phone. Silence.

Sheila had booked the Residence tour two months ago. What a shock seeing the wheel chairs lined up in the lobby like they were waiting for a bus. Then the elevator to the seventh floor apartment.

'Look at the view,' their enthusisastic guide exclaimed. 'You'll get the beautiful morning sunrises, a view of the garden and so much more. There's the social outings, gourmet dining, fitness in the gym, Friday night dances. Top drawer life sytle.'

Auntie would be safe.

She had been there less than a month. On the weekly visit to walk the nature trail, then check out a local restaruant for lunch, Auntie seemed to be transitioning well. They had place her paintings, sifted throug her wardrobe for items to be recycled and organized her book case, text books she insisted on keeping from her years of teaching grade four at Foster Elementary.

This morning's call meant something was going on at the Retirement Home. Auntie needed her.

Outside it was minus twenty-five with blowing snow that re-designed the road to town and zero visibility which meant it would not be fun. It was not a choice.

The engine turned over on the second try. The car struggled but stayed on the road. Then aa short distance down the road everything changed. It came flying out of nowhere, into her glaring headlights. Thudded against the front bumper. In the rear view mirror, the inert form on the road. One less feral cat to invade her barn. Hailey leaped into the passenger seat. The engine supttered to a stop.

A ten ton truck with blade attached crawled towards her, the County snow plugh. It stopped a few feet away. The drvier lifted the blade and jumped down. Looked at the cat on the road.

"Damned cat's knocked out your radiator." He pointed at the grill. "Likely the air conditioner, too. Not htat you'll be needing it any time soon. The cat's history."

He waited by the truck. "Name's Woody. You're needing a ride. Here, I'll give you a hand up. Hold on to the dog."

He released the brake and lowered te blade. "What brought you out on a night like this?"

"I'm Sheila." She sighed. "A family thing. It's complicated."

Auntie had not married and had designated Sheila with power of attorney for her financial and physical well being. Too much information to share with Woody.

"Sit tight. I'll get turned around and take you to the edoge of town. Then you're on your own." He raised the blade, slowly backed the truck into the lane, eased forward, lowered the blade and turned towards town as he pushed piles of snow off the road.

"Lucky no cars on the shoulder. I'd have to bury 'em. Nobody out walking their dog." He laughed.

xxx

Today's the day, Auntie, thinks. Last day to be stuck with these folk who've lost their marbles, can't remember their name, day of the week or where to pee. I'll take my chances- damn blizzard or not. I've phoned Sheila. She's expecting me. Four layers of sweaters, boots, mitts and tuque will keep me warm and I'll start walking to meet her. After that phone call I know she'll be on the road. She'll know I need her.

Retirement home not for me. Gave up my independence, my dog, Hailey, the whole nine yards. Sure I slipped on the ice, split open my head, broke my arm. But, picked myself up and headed home. Shook up. Blood spilling down my face. Hailey was off leash but stayed close. End of story.

xxx

"Spoke too soon. Another soul's out there with a death wish." Woody shook his head and pointed down the road.

A short distance ahead, they saw a figure standing by the roadside. Immobile like a statue in the blowing snow. Then movement as the person shuffled on to the ploughed section of the road. Struggled towards the truck, stopped and waved.

"Can you believe it, whoever's pushing a walker. God, it's not like I'm out here to pick up passengers. Got a job to do. Clear the damn..."

"It's my aurnt. I don't believe it," Sheila gasped.

"Craziness runs in the family." He laughed as he pushed through mounds of snow. Closed the distance, slowed to a stop, shifted into park, raised the blade and jumped from the cab.

Sheila followed the dog which had leaped from the truck, tail wagging, and fought its way through the snow to reach her buddy.

"Room for one more," Auntie giggled. "Not a great day for hitch-hiking." She hugged Sheila.

"Here, I'l boost you into the cab," Woody shouted into the wind.

On board, he lowered the blade and stepped on the gas.

"Where to, folks?"

"Home, James, and don't spare the horses." Auntie giggled.

"And where's home?" he muttered.

"Fire number, 434, please," Sheila groaned.

"Hell, that's some ways back. Boss not going to be happy when I call in the change of route. Okay, one more back up and change direction. Gettin' sick of this stretch of road."

"So sorry," Sheila murmured.

No further conversation until they reached 434.

"Thanks, Woody. You're and angel."

"Call a tow truck and get that car of yours off the road, eh?"

"Promise. First thing when we make it to the house."

Hailey escaped, jumped over snow banks and high tailed it up to the house as the women followed.

"I'll pull the walker, Auntie. You push. One step forward. Half a step back, probably. We'll not break the sppeed limit. Keep breathing."

Finally, they reached the snow packed steps and shouldered open the front door into the house.

"Come, Auntie, let's get your out of the wet boots. How many layers on top?" Sheila tugged off the boots. "We'll be having a talk, you and I, after breakfast."

"I'm dying for a coffee." Auntie heaved a sigh of reliefs as Hailey jumped on to her lap. "I've missed you so, darlin'. I've retired from that place, Sheila. Just not for me."

"We'll talk, you and I, after breakfast."

"Sorry you went to such trouble to make it happen, helped me move, closed my house and cared for Hailey. I miss her so. Miss my house. Miss everything. You'll have to carry me out in a box on my next move. My final one. When I'm in the grave and my last cheque bounces." She wiped up the last of her scrambled egss with her toast."

"You didn't want to be alone. A retirement home seemed like the way to go."

"What I miss are my woods, my bird feeders, the garden, my neighbours..."

"It was your fall-a broken arm. Next time it could be a hip and that's a different story, Auntie."

"Yes, I hear you," she snapped.

"How about Hailey moving in with you?"

"Dogs not allowed in my cell," she muttered.

"A therapy dog. We'll get her trained as a therapy dog."

"How does that happen?"

"You both train for it. Takes some time. Think you could do it?"

"Back to school, right?"

"Yes, Auntie. I think you would qualify for a refresher obedience course since there are some rules you're apparnetly ignoring at The Manor."

"Like what?"

"Skipping meals, Having take-out deleivered. Happy Hour back in your neighbourhood. Did you drive after your happy hour enjoying wine and cheese?"

"A neighbour drove me back. I may be old but... I only order in when there's no salad. No green veggies. Meat and potatoes. Not a healthy diet. Others complain. Just because we're older we're not stupid. We know about vitamins and that stuff."

"You're doing something about it?"

"The chef talked to me. Didn't listen, couldn't hear or agree with what I said."

"The other problem is not registering with the concierge when you leave the residence."

"It's none of their damn business. I'm not a child-pay my rent and know the roads and how to get to my destination. I found you this morning, right?" Auntie giggled.

"Not funny. What's next?"

"This is a nice visit, dear. I'll stay awhile if you don't mind."

"And Rainbow Manor?"

"Rainbow Manor. Whoever came up with that label is no genius."

"Why not negotiate with the CEO? Discuss your issues and have other residents share your ideas with the administration?"

"With the enforcer, the control freak?"

"You've spent time with her?"

"That's the rumour."

"Auntie, that's a judgment."

"Why can't you be my advocate? Let's try that one."

"Why not? You round up other residents with the food issue and we can go from there."

"I'll do the obedience stuff. Maybe I'll consider lodging at Rainbow Manor after that. If and when I'm ready."

Sheila realized her mistakes: answering the damn phone and having the County truck take her to town instead of back to 434. Auntie would have survived. Auntie was a survivor.

October 31, 2022 16:19

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