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Horror Suspense Thriller

This story contains sensitive content

Trigger warning: Sexual violence, horrendous language, physical violence and some gore.

Honestly a little ashamed at how depraved this is - but the content was a situation my partner was warned against as a teenage girl growing up in Australia. Unfortunately, a very scary reality.


Ryan blinked over his contracting pupils against the bright lights that signaled closing time. The heavy drinks he’d had earlier in the night, although keeping him happily inhibition free, were not enough to guard against the sinking feeling in his chest brought on by surveying an emptying dance floor. He was going home alone again tonight.

Probably better this way. All those bitches were ugly or fat. He thought while still staring down any stragglers. I’d only have regretted it tomorrow even if I’d scored…I guess its plan B for another weekend instead.

He dumped his empty glass down hard on the nearest table and strode with feigned confidence out of the double doors, cold night air stinging his face and blowing his favourite dark jacket backward as he sped across the car park. It took him a few tries to get the single key, light in his hand without its usual ring of jangling friends, to line up with the lock of his beat up old Holden Commodore. Once finally inside, he settled in, firing the AC so it had time to warm up and waited to see who else would show.


Jonno landed first, letting himself into the passenger side and dropping down heavily, reeking of whisky.

“HEYO Ryan! We both stuck out then!” He said in a loud voice, not yet accustomed to the lack of loud music.

“Looks like it mate.”

“Hanging on in case of a plan B are we?” He asked, volume naturally adjusting a little.

“Aye, lets see if anyone else comes through with a winner.”

They waited in silence for a few minutes before Jonno couldn’t resist playing with the radio, tuning in to a Saturday night station playing non-stop dance beats. It would keep the party going a little longer Ryan figured, but he didn’t hold out much hope for a good end to the night.


He was beginning to consider giving it up, heading home and resigning to a nightcap of porn and junk food when one of the back doors suddenly swung open and in popped Jacky-boy’s head.

“OI OI lads! I was hoping you’d be here! Any of you’s up for a night of star hunting?”

“What the fuck are you on Jacky? There’s no one famous lives in Perth, they’re all in Byron Bay!” Jonno replied.

“Not stars you stupid cunt, STARS, like in the sky? I promised Chloe here we would take a drive into the outback to see if we could spot the Milky way, maybe even get lucky with a bit of the old Aurora!”

With that the other side door opened to reveal a real beauty. Long black hair cascaded over her pale skin and a tight red top barely contained the biggest pair of soft tits Ryan had seen in a long time. Fitted jeans to a slim waist and heels rounded off the absolute prize…some nights really turned around with plan B in action.

“Hello boys! Heard you were heading out on a drive, mind if I tag along? I haven’t been out of the city in forever!” Chloe said. She was confident too…this could be fun.

“Of course, climb on in and lets get going before we lose the night. Come on Jacky-boy get your ass in, lets get this show on the road!” Ryan said, rejuvenated with enthusiasm and leaving behind all traces of his previous disappointment. 


The speed dial behaved itself until they broke free of the suburbs, at which point Ryan floored it out onto the long and deserted country roads of rural Australia. His poor old girl wheezed in protest but Ryan was too excited to play it safe.

“Yo Ryan, got any booze in here?” Jacky asked over the now blaring music

“Lean over the back seat there should be a bottle we can share” Ryan instructed.

While his best mate knelt on the seat and rooted around amongst the accumulated trash for something to drink, Ryan took the opportunity to glance over Chloe in the mirror. She looked fit, like she worked out to stay toned but had managed to hold on to the best feminine parts in the process. Not like those nasty butch girls at his local gym who he wouldn’t let anywhere near his cock, lest they rip it off.

“So Chloe. What’s possessed you to take a liking to our Jacky here? Girl like you could do way better than a knob-head like him!” Jonno said, turning to peer through the gap between the front seats.

“Jon was it? Well, I think he’s cute! I bet once you get past that gruff exterior he's a real teddy bear underneath and besides, I like a man who isn’t ashamed of who he is”

“I don’t know…I still think you’d be better off with someone a little more handsome, like me for example!”

“Shut up Jonno. If she wanted dumb she would have said so!” Ryan interjected. He wanted to put an end to that line of questioning, shit for brains was going to blow it.

“How about you Ryan, anyone special you wanted to bring on our little adventure?” Chloe asked.

“Not right now” he said “I’m keeping my options open, plus I’m driving tonight so I wanted to stay free.”

“I see.” Chloe said, a little too knowingly for his liking.

“GOT IT!” Jacky-boy said taking a swig from the cheap whisky he’d reclaimed from the jungle of old chip packets behind the back seat.


The rest of the drive went quickly, mostly due to Ryan’ speed, as they passed the bottle around making sure to take smaller sips and leaving the lions share for Chloe. Music pumping, empty roads and the promise of a good time meant Ryan’s spirits were high and so he chose to ignore the niggling feeling in the back of his mind that started to question…why wasn’t she worried? Most girls started to get concerned this far out in a car with a bunch of men they didn’t know. Chloe just seemed to be having a good time.


After almost two hours, Ryan made the call. He pulled over onto the side of the tarmac strip that disappeared into the darkness in both directions, leaving the engine running and the headlights illuminating the grass carpeted field ahead.

“This should do it” He said to them all “Sorry for the long drive Chloe, had to get clear of the city lights”

“Hey I get it, you don’t get true darkness until at least this far out” She replied, still a little too jovial for his liking.

They all piled out of the car, Ryan and Jonno taking up seats on the bonnet and Jacky-boy walking out onto the grass ahead with Chloe, who was already staring up into the night sky. She stood there for a few minutes, wondering at the natural light show until eventually turning to look at the rest of them. She must have noticed then, that they were all looking at her, rather than upward. That was when, at last, her smile faded.


Jacky-boy began immediately. Ryan leaned back on his elbows, patiently listening to the same prepared speech.

“Here’s the deal Chloe. We’re about a hundred and fifty kilometres from civilisation. It’s an impossible walk back in those heels on a cold, dark night. Not to mention the heat that’s coming with the day tomorrow. There are no cops out here, no cell reception and no one passes by.” He paused for effect and Ryan watched the expected confusion ripple across the beautiful girls face. “We are going to leave you here unless you do as we ask.” Boom, there it was, realisation. God damn Ryan loved this part.

“What do you want.” She said, deadpan and to the point. She was confident, that’s for sure.

“You are going to suck my cock. Then Ryan’s, he drove us after all so he gets second; fuel ain’t cheap you know. Then you’ll do the same for Jonno and listen close, you’d better be enthusiastic with it. Make it nice and pleasurable for each of us, tears ain’t sexy. After that we’ll go for another round with you bent over the bonnet. If you satisfy, then we should be good to offer you a ride home, right boys?”

“Haha! You know it Jacky!” Jonno hollered.

“…No.” She said, folding her arms and shifting her weight onto one leg.

“What do you mean no? No one ever says no! You want to die out here bitch, because that’s what’ll happen if we leave you!” Jacky stressed. He looked back and Ryan met his eyes, seeing the question in them,

What do we do if she says no?

All Ryan could offer was a shrug.


“You’ve made a mistake here boys.” She said “See I grew up way further out than this. This here is just abandoned farmland, it would be an insult to call it the outback. I was raised where mother nature rules, where man has barely tread and where help will never find you. Do you know what that means? I’ll answer, since you all seem a little slow. It means I know very well how to take care of myself in the wilds, in fact I find it far more comfortable than that city we left behind. It also means I’ve known far worse men than you, men who thrive in hardship and take what they want from a lawless, wild-west landscape. I would never have got in that car if I thought I was in any danger from the likes of you.”

Jacky-boy stepped up and back handed the girl across the face, dropping her to one knee.

“Damn you’re a chatty bitch all of a sudden. Last chance! Do the right thing and help yourself, preferably without another word.”

To that, she…smiled? Before any of them could react Chloe had hurled a fistful of red dirt into Jacky’s eyes and vanished into the darkness beyond the reach of the cars headlights. All that she left behind were her pretty heeled shoes.


“FUUUUUCCK! FUCKING BITCH! I CAN’T SEE SHIT! GAH, GOD DAMMIT!” Jacky’s anger fueled screams pierced the silent emptiness around them. Ryan stood still for a moment, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go, he couldn’t grasp how to react. Jacky was still clawing at his eyes and Jonno was staring at him, dumbfounded and expecting an answer.

“Jonno, go find her and bring her back. She won’t be able to see shit and she's tiny, just pick her up and drag her back. I’ll deal with Jacky” He said, figuring it was better than standing around with their dicks in their hands. He went back to the car and pulled out the almost empty liquor bottle and headed over to his friend, grappling his hands away from his face and pouring the last of the booze over his eyes.

“FUCK, FUCK, FUCKING CUNT THAT STINGS!” He yelled, shaking his head but also finally opening his eyes that were so red that they almost glowed under the bright headlights. With Jacky finally calming down and catching his breath, sight restored, Ryan took a moment to glance around them. It was completely open darkness in all directions, how they were going to find her, he had no idea.

Dammit. If she dies out here and they trace it back to us… shit, they never say no. They aren’t supposed to say no. We are all supposed to get some and then go home satisfied for another week off the back of a slut dumb enough to get in the car!


His eyes scanned the border of the lit arena around them, waiting and hoping to see Jonno appear with a tight ass hung over his shoulder. Instead his eyes caught on movement in the sky, something dark and spinning…getting closer. Jacky paced around next to him, gathering his wits and unaware of what Ryan had spotted. His mind couldn’t process what it was, only movement slinging from side to side like a rope caught in the wind and so he said nothing, trying to understand what he was actually seeing first. He was still stood there, staring, when he realised his night vision had completely misjudged the distance and it was already advancing too quickly to avoid. The rope descending at high speed suddenly slammed into Jacky’s face and wrapped around his neck. It…reared up…from one end and slapped down into his skin, then with a loud hiss it did it again, then again directly into his face. The pale brown scales twisted and writhed around his friends head, the drab colouration telling Ryan all he needed to know. It was a fucking Eastern brown snake.


Even when his mate had fallen to the ground, kicking his legs, Ryan dared not get near him. The thing was still resting on Jacky-boys shoulders and looked pissed. Ryan looked side to side, heart beating like crazy, simultaneously needing to watch the snake in front of him and afraid another was going to come flying out of the darkness.

What the fuck even is that! Where the fuck did that come from!?

He started throwing rocks at it and eventually managed to land the empty whisky bottle right on its head, which sent it slithering off away from the light. He rushed to his friends side and found half his neck turning black and froth coating his chin. His eyes were glazed over and it didn’t look like he was breathing. Ryan sat back on his heels.

What the fuck man. What the fuck is this…

“Jacky! Jacky come on man this isn’t funny. Is this some kind of wind up?” He stood and spun around in circles, looking out into the darkness. “JONNO! JONNO get back here! Where are you, you dumb fuck! Jacky’s hurt!”

A few minutes passed, his heavy breaths the only sound for miles, Jacky motionless at his feet, until finally he saw Jonno stumble out of the darkness.


“Oh thank Christ! Get over here, we gotta get Jacky to a hospital…” He broke off as Jonno stumbled closer, revealing a red soaked shirt and a hand clasped to his neck.

“Ryan…I…need help…bitch…stuck me” He pulled his hand away slightly to show a wooden shard protruding from the crease between his neck and chest, blood pouring from the wound. 

“Holy shit! What is that!? She stabbed you with a god damn branch!? This crazy bitch think shes Mick Dundee?”

“Mick…?” The idiot started to ask, as if it was more important than the half gum tree sticking from his jugular.

“Look just shut up…can you get to the car…I need to carry Jacky…Jonno? JON!” Ryan yelled as the other man’s eyes began to roll back in his head. His hand dropped limp from his neck and his knees buckled, dropping him into the dirt.


Ryan’s heavy breathing turned to gasping pants, his eyes were wide and his hands trembling. He was alone, in the dark and two of his friends were fucking dead on the ground.

What the hell. Jesus fucking Christ what is happening. I just wanted to get my dick wet before going home. Why couldn’t she just take it like all the others.

“WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST FUCKING TAKE IT BITCH!” He screamed into the darkness, turning in circles, hands on his head in disbelief. He paced one way and then the next, confused and in shock, unable to make a decision on what to do. He couldn’t just leave them there and run, he might be able to drag them to the car, but what if she was out there, what if she came for him? His bottom lip began to quiver, tears running down his cheek, anger and confusion boiled his mind into a state of paralysis.

“WHERE ARE YOU, YOU CUNT! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE! YOU’RE GOING DOWN FOR THIS! YOU CAN’T JUST HURT PEOPLE AND GET AWAY WITH IT!” He screeched into the emptiness. 


Drumming. He could hear drumming. He could feel it too, through the ground. A rumbling, rhythmic beat that was growing stronger. Louder. His head snapped from side to side, trying to see every direction at once, unable to pinpoint the source of the sound. The growing beat seemed to echo through his head until it was so deafening it felt like it was inside his mind, yet he could still see only blackness. Until…yeah…there it was, melting from darkness into light, forming as if condensing from vapour; a massive black horse and bareback rider, dark hair billowing in the wind. They emerged as one from the emptiness like some kind of harbinger of death. She carried a long branch above her head, sharpened at one end like a spear and bore down on Ryan with such speed he only had time for one thought before his body was pierced directly through the chest like kebab meat,

All I wanted was a rooting…I don’t deserve this…crazy fucking bitch.


Even in death he thought he had done nothing wrong, that it was normal to meet his needs at her expense, deserved even. As he lay bleeding out into the red dirt, his emptying eyes watched Chloe slow her horse to a walk and melt back into the liquid blackness, leaving him to die alone in the dirt. Where he belonged.

August 12, 2024 23:16

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10 comments

Greydon Blight
14:33 Aug 19, 2024

The pacing keeps you hooked, and the characters are well-developed, making the horror of the situation hit even harder. Great work!

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James Scott
14:43 Aug 19, 2024

Thank you Greydon!

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KA James
03:16 Aug 18, 2024

Found your story by looking through the horror / thriller lists, trying to get a feel for how much violence is acceptable in stories here. You managed to push it well and give me a bar to measure the story I'm trying to write against. Thanks for that. That out of the way, I liked the story too. It seemed forgone that Chloe was going to turn the tables on them, but I liked the idea that she did it with just what she found in the outback, having initially expected her to pull a knife or gun or something. Nice job of being innovative.

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James Scott
04:02 Aug 18, 2024

Thank you KA - honestly I have no idea where the line is and was a bit concerned about this one. I think if things had gone another way that might have been cause for a rejection though! Glad you enjoyed and it was useful!

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Shirley Medhurst
22:13 Aug 15, 2024

Go, Chloe, go girl! We’re all cheering for you 💪 Well, I guess you did forewarn us at the beginning 🤣🤣🤣 I do have one small question…. I was slightly confused by this line, at the end: « watched Chloe slow her horse and trot on back down the street the way they had come… » Weren’t they in the outback? You really brought this scary reality to life, James. Well done indeed

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James Scott
23:16 Aug 15, 2024

Thank you Shirley! I’m glad the heroine so was sympathetic and as for the rest…they did ask for a villain haha. I appreciate the feedback on the last line, perhaps ‘street’ was the wrong word. Track or just back the way they came / into the darkness would be better.

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Alexis Araneta
17:36 Aug 14, 2024

Good on Chloe for escaping. Splendid work here, James !

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James Scott
23:23 Aug 14, 2024

Thankyou Alexis

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Keba Ghardt
00:39 Aug 13, 2024

Proud of you; you made a vivid cautionary tale with a great hero to root for. Sometimes you need to show how ugly the world is in order to show how strong people must be to overcome it.

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James Scott
23:14 Aug 15, 2024

That’s Keba, absolutely right, if no one knows about these things they can’t be guarded against

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