Carol

Carol

Tuesday, November 26

Carol walked through the cupboard door.

She looked at a therapist, shuffling papers in her office. Then she said, “Jane Sloan. Therapist for the last thirty years. Never married. No children. Kimberly is her sister, two years younger..” Carol looked for the sunlight to sleep in. She curled up onto the heated carpet. “It’s almost 3 and it’s…” Carol yawned. “Tuesday…Time for the Magical Martin minutes.”

Jane ignored the narration from Carol. Then she heard the purring.

Dr. Sloan looked at the clock. It was, in fact, four minutes to three.

Carol continued talking. “Martin has been bad this week. He’s not planning to tell you about it.” There was another yawn. “Make sure you bring it up.” Carol stretched out. “And you can mention me. He’ll like that. He likes cats.”

7 minutes later…

“Your cat told me that you had something happen to you this week.”

“I don’t have a cat.” Martin thought for a second and his face curled up in disgust. “I don’t even like cats.”

“It’s invisible.”

Martin tilted his head. “I don’t understand.” He put his head back straight “I have an invisible cat that tells you things.”

“Yes.” Jane nodded.

“Why doesn’t my…” His voice trailed off and he stared at Jane. “Err your talking cat talk to me directly?” There was a pause. Jane shrugged. Martin stared blank faced. Jane wasn’t one to say this kind of thing. “How long have I had an invisible talking cat?

“12 years.”

“What’s their name?”

“Carol Welles the third.”

“Why is she the third one?” Jane shrugged. “How long has she been talking to you?”

“Since 2010.”

“You’ve been talking to an invisible cat for 15 years?”

Jane nodded.

“Where was the cat before it was with us?” Gary sat up on the sofa.

Jane shrugged again. “Carol won’t say...”

“Have you asked her these questions?”

Jane shook her head back and forth child like. “Carol wants you to stop asking questions.”

Carol lazily looked over. “I never said that…but I like how you work…I’ll allow it.”

“So, just to recap, Carol - the invisible cat - thinks I waste time questioning her...right?”

She nodded. “She does.” Jane was an attractive older woman. She was wearing a business suit. Her hair was always severely tied back.

Martin just sat there staring ahead. “How come you never mentioned this?”

“Carol told me not to.”

“How’d you meet Carol?”

“You don’t need to know that.” Carol stretched out and yawned. “Carol doesn’t like this.”

Martin sat in silence.

38 minutes later

The sun had moved, but it still warmed Carol.

She looked at Jane.

Then at Martin.

“Martin likes Dr. Sloan. He’s thirty-seven. Martin used to fantasize about Jane. Deep down he knew it wouldn't happen. He never told Jane this. He keeps sssssecrets from her. He talks and thinks too much. He’s as far out as he’s ever going to get.” Carol paused and began cleaning herself. Jane looked at the sunlit circle. Her brain told her Carol was still in the sunlight. Carol said, “Jane Sloan doesn’t like Martin. He’s her least favorite client on Tuesdays.”

“Dr. Jane Sloan is my bitch. I eat grass, puke and talk shit to amuse myself.” With that she wandered back through the cupboard into the darkening night.

Jane was on the couch. Her bag was packed. The reality of the trip was beginning to sink in.

She could hear Blake breathing. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Jane smiled as she said this.

“Me too. How was your day baby?” Blake smirked.

“I can hear your smile.” Blake’s mouth blossomed into a smile. “There it is…” Jane took a drink from her glass. “It was Tuesday. That’s how it was. How was your day?”

“I took my nieces to Chunky Cheese.” Jane laughed. “They went bonkers. While their parents got some alone time. I am a god around here. Parenting is really easy if you don’t actually have kids.” Jane smiled.

She could feel the dread . She wasn’t sure what she was facing. The fear bathed her and she leaned back on the couch.

Blake sat in silence on the other end. “You’re really frightened about this trip aren’t you?”

Jane smiled. “How are you able to do that after three dates?”

“You’re letting me in…” Blake exhaled and leaned back into the chair. “You’re easy for me to read and You are different.”

“I’m not like the others.”

“You can say that again. You’re going to roc Thanksgiving.”

“Would you be upset if I didn’t mention you?” Jane said.

“It stings…but I get it. You know your family better the I ever will…And on Friday at 1:19 pm I will be there to greet you at gate 17.”

Wednesday November 27

3:04 pm

Natick, Massachusetts

Dan’s Deli was exactly the way it was 30 years ago when Jane left for college.

“Can you guess who I ran into here last week, darling?” Jane’s mother, Nan, was hunched over the carcass of a club sandwich.

“Ron Jeremy?”

Nan glanced up at her confused. “Is he one of your therapist friends?”

Jane snickered. “No, he’s not.”

Nan stared at her. “Are you going to guess?”

“Didn’t I just do that?”

Nan was getting irritated. In less than a minute, she’d give up on the conversation and just plow through the story.

“I don’t understand you sometimes young lady.”

Jane kept laughing. “Ok…mom.”

“Anyway, I ran into that boyfriend you had in high school…Craig Levi. He’s married you know?”

Jane was still smiling but trying to keep it inside her. “How’s old Craig?”

“I just told you.” Another glance up over the carcass... “He’s married and they’re expecting a baby in the fall.”

“How lucky for him. He’ll make a terrible father. Maybe his kid will never met him. We can only hope.”

As she watched her mother eat, she began to hear Carol’s voice. “Nan Sloan. 69 years old, Married to Ed Sloan since 1972. Two daughters, no grandchildren. She’s been having an affair with her neighbor for the last year, and considers it the best sex of her life.”

Carol was sitting on the table right next to Jane. After the last sentence, Jane looked down at the table and muttered, “I can’t believe you just said that…”

Nan stopped eating a fry. “You can’t believe that Craig is getting married?” Jane knew that Ms. Sloan would ignore the second part of what she said. `

“I wasn’t talking to you mom.”

“Who were you talking to then?”

“Nobody. What’s Craig’s wife like?”

“She’s pretty...quiet...and blond.”

“Ugg...”

Carol began rubbing up against Jane. Jane was doing her best to ignore her. “Are you going to ask her about her affair or ignore me like you usually do?”

Jane cleared her throat. “Do we need anything for the dinner tomorrow?”

“Yeah...we need to go to the store.” Nan exhaled.

“You’re not going to ask, are you?” Jane could sense that Carol was getting annoyed. The pangs of fear began to rise in Jane.

“You’ve been talking to an invisible cat for 15 years?”

Jane stood up. “I better go to the restroom. While you finish your sandwich...”

She pushed open the swinging door and moved into the stall. She sat there alone.

Jane could feel a panic attack coming on.

“Picture of a woman under pressure...she’s returned to her old stomping ground looking for something that she’ll know when she senses it.” Jane could hear the voice getting closer. “Her new home provides her shelter. But she’s not there now...she’s with family.” Now Carol was in the stall. She was rubbing Jane’s leg. “She thinks she’s doing the right thing. However, Carol knows better than her. Just like mother.”

Jane put her head in her hands. Now there was just her, the stall, and Carol.

“You’ve been talking to an invisible cat for 15 years?”

She could see the look on Martin’s face and feel Carol’s smile as she lay in the sun.

She looked down to where Carol was. There was only the tile of Dan’s. It was worn in and needed to be mopped.

“Hey Carol, why did you choose me? You could’ve chosen anyone...”

The rest of the world was silent. Jane could hear Carol’s purr begin again. “You chose me, Jane. You’re the one making the choices.”

Nan looked at her watch.

Jane was taking too long. The check had come and been paid.

Nan pushed her way into the restroom.

She could hear her daughter talking to someone.

“I’m not going to ask her about Miguel across the street, Carol. You’re insane.” There was a pause.

Nan was trying to catch her breath. That statement knocked the wind from her lungs.

“Fine...Carol...leave me be. But I’m not asking about Miguel.”

When she opened the door, Nan was standing there staring.

“Hey...” Jane looked down at the ground. “I didn’t hear you enter.” She brushed by Nan and went to the sink to wash her hands.

“Are you having another episode?”

“Asssssk…her…” She could hear Carol’s hiss.

“I’ll be in the car.” Nan turned and left.

It was dark now. The car hummed along “Your sister is looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.”

Jane knew what was coming. “Is she?”

“Yes, she is.” Nan stopped the car at a stoplight. Then she turned to look at Jane. “She used to be one of your favorite people on the planet.”

“When was that, the Reagan Administration?”

“I just wish you two got along better.” Jane said nothing. She simply looked out the window into the sunset. “I don’t understand what happened.”

They were in high school together for two years.

Kim was popular.

Jane was smart.

High School was where Kim blossomed sexually. Testing out the social influence of large breasts and tight sweaters. The rumors spread. Jane knew not to deny any of them. Kim needed the attention, and Jane stopped caring which were true.

This set up a lifelong way of operating.

Kim had racked up three divorces, and always at least one man.

When Kim came to Los Angeles, Jane blocked her number. Nan had guilt-tripped Jane, and they didn’t speak for a year.

Jane still felt like she was in sixth grade as they pulled into Harvey’s Market.

Nan threw her arm around Jane’s shoulder. “I am so glad that you’re here. Dad and I were just talking about it last week. Kim too…she can’t wait to see you.”

“Haven’t I asked you not to touch me in the past?”

Nan’s hand flew off of Jane. “No one touch Jane, she’s super sensitive.” Nan stood there crouched, performing for an audience that wasn’t. Her fingers were splayed out in mock repulsion.

By the time they bought the turkey, Jane felt like she was six years old.

That night, Jane lay in the basement. Her room used to be upstairs. Kim had taken it over until she met her first husband, then it became her father’s office. Now, her room was and wasn’t there. The pictures in the house were all from Sears portrait sessions that ended in 1989. No pictures of Jane were up. When she complained to her father, he simply pointed to the nearest Sear’s portrait.

There were more recent photos of Kim, Nan and Ed. Jane didn’t ask about those. Every question on, elicited toxic verbiage or nothing. Jane could never decide which was worse.

She closed her eyes and turned towards the wall. This room was bare. No one ever came down here. That’s why she choose it. She wanted to be alone, and with no car this was as close as she could get.

She could feel Carol. She wasn’t there at 11:03. Then she was at 11:04.

“Thanksgiving back at mothers. A time for family. A time for the loneliness that a room filled with your lineage who think they know you can provide. Jane will experience it all and Kim tomorrow.” There was a hush. Now only the wind whistled by outside. “How do you think tomorrow will unfold with Nan’s favorite Kim?”

Jane closed her eyes. She wanted to be back in her apartment, looking forward to a relaxing night with Hanna and Sybil. Instead, she did what she knew she shouldn’t have done.

She felt Carol get up on the bed. She began to knead her back. It felt good. Jane arched her back. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Where do you go when you’re not with me?”

Carol kneaded her back a few more times. “I have another client. I split my time between you and them.”

“What are they like?”

“That information isn’t open to you at this time.” There was another hush.

“How do you get all your information about the people around me?”

“Past, present, and future actions leave ripples in the universe. I can sense them.” Carol curled up in the small of Jane’s back. The warmth felt good. Carol purred softly. Her fur felt good on Jane’s back.

“Where were you before we met?”

“Where were you when you parents first met me?”

“I don’t know.”

“I do. That’s where we met.”

“Where was that?”

“You’ll see Jane.”

Jane looked out the main window, and watched Kim come up the driveway. She was wearing a fashionable brown trench coat with a brown sweater. She’d aged well.

“Mom!!! Mom!!! I’m here. I need some help unloading stuff from the car.”

“I can help.” Jane’s brain failed to keep her mouth shut.

Kim turned towards Jane. “Jane!!!” The family shell of caring had been slipped on. Kim walked over. They embraced. Kim got too close. Jane pulled away.. “What, you’re not going to hug your sister.”

“We did. Then my boundaries got violated.”

Kim shook her head. “You and your therapy bullshit.”

Jane smiled. “So, did you bring your pumpkin pie?”

“I did…”

“Let’s go get it.”

Jane and Kim walked down the driveway. For about 90 seconds they were children again, and Kim was leading Jane off on some adventure.

Right before they got to the car Kim said, “I called you last week to see if you needed any help with what to bring, but you never got back to me.”

“I told you I blocked you.”

“But that was years ago.”

“And?”

“I thought you got over that.”

“I didn’t…” They reached the car. “So, what do you need help with?”

Kim leaned on the car and said, “You know I’ve been nothing but nice to you…and you’ve consistently treated me like shit. What did I do?”

Jane could feel fury begin to seep into her circulatory. “Do you need help or not?”

“Can you just answer the question?”

Jane held up her hands. “I’m out.” With hands still raised, she moved back to the house.

Jane was downstairs enjoying the quiet. She heard Kim’s footsteps before she heard her voice.

“Jane? Are you down here?”

“Yeah.” The word came out cold but still warmer then intended.

“Are you seeing anyone?” As she said this she sat down on the bed. Jane moved further away on the bed. Kim chose to ignore the movement.

“I’m not seeing anyone, Kimberly.”

Kim had slid into her I’m here to teach you something voice. “Are you sure?”

“Yup.” Jane let the word hang in the air. She had settled into the dance of nonsense with Kim. “Why are you asking?”

“Someone told me you were.”

“Who would that be? We have no mutual friends anymore. Thank God.” The last two words came out in a breath.

“That John thing was your fault. You misread me.” The bait was there. Jane stared at it. She wasn’t going to get involved. She knew this pattern. She’d been on her best behavior for 40 hours. In another six, this would all be over.

After a few seconds of quiet and Jane looking at her watch, Kim figured out this wasn’t going to work.

“I came across a mutual friend of ours.”

“Who?” More quiet. They could hear Nan filling the dishwasher. That meant the pumpkin pie was right around the corner.

“Why are we so distant?”

“Are we?”

“I know Lewis.”

Just then the sisters felt Carol/Lewis enter the room.

“You both wanted to meet my other client…and now you have”, said Carol.

The two sisters sat in the basement. Now they could hear the clinking of the plates upstairs. Pie was almost ready.

Jane looked over at Kim. “Have you ever seen Carol the cat?”

“She hasn’t”, Carol said. “Tell her you haven’t Kim.”

“I haven’t.” Kim said.

“Now, you two together. Like mother never could.” Carol smiled.

Jane stood up. Kim leaned away.

“I’m going to a hotel for the night. I can’t do this.”

“Do what? Eat pumpkin pie with your family.”

“Stand up and grab her.” Carol said.

Kim stood and grabbed her. She leaned in too close. “We’ll always be family. Nothing can stop it. And now with Carol”

Jane could feel the sickness flow through her. ‘Our mutual friend is an invisible pet?” There was a pause. Kim let go.

“Say nothing Kim. Never speak of me again.”, said Carol. “Do as I wish. Follow my hustle…”

Carol then sat down on the carpet and watched Jane’s mind begin to melt.

“Jane has come home to a place she no longer recognizes. It’s familiar, worn, and sickening all at once. Soon, she’ll be leaving the Northeast United States and all that sickens her…” There was a pause. “She’s learned why she never wanted this bloodline to continue…” Carol got up. She had an appointment. Craig Levi had to die tonight. “Maybe this time she’ll remember.