Lady of all Universes

I've made a huge mistake. But it was too late to back out now. 

I took few steps forward and approached the table I’d been eyeing for ten minutes. “Hi, I’m here to check in for the Lady Universe pageant.” 

“You’re competing?” the man sitting behind the table asked, raising an eyebrow. I blushed. I could never get used to the way people grimaced at my appearance, as if they couldn’t stand to look at me for more than a few seconds. “What’s your name?” he asked, bemused.

“Tara Morris,” I said. He rifled through the passes on the table. 

“Here you go,” he said, handing me my pass. “Go down the hall, make two right turns, and the locker room is to your left. You can find the rest of the contestants there, and you can change. Good luck,” he added as a sarcastic afterthought. I grabbed the pass and marched off without saying thank you. He could have at least tried to be more polite.

I followed his instructions, feeling out of place. The convention hall was packed with excited spectators and family members milling about, chatting with each other. I was still new to this town, so I wouldn't have many allies in the audience today. I tried not to stare at any of the gathered families with too much longing. 

After a few wrong turns, I finally found the backstage dressing room, and stopped short as soon as I entered. I was surrounded by the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. Each of them had dark skin and natural, full bodies. All of them were older than me, with specks of gray in their hair. Some looked like they had gone through multiple pregnancies, and some wore wedding rings. They spoke in low, rumbling voices.

As I tiptoed through the room to choose a locker, I felt eyes on me, watching. They carried on with their conversation in hushed voices. I was hyper-aware of my blonde hair, stick-skinny figure, and smooth complexion. And I was easily the tallest one in the room.

“Who does she think she is?” I heard one of the women whispering to her companion. “She looks so fake, like one of those antique plastic dolls for children, what do they call them?” 

“Barbie dolls,” the other woman said. They shot me side-glances.

When I settled on a locker, I set my gym bag on a bench and opened it. “Hello,” one of the women near me said. “Competing in Lady Universe?” She was in the middle of changing into her costume, and had just stripped down to her underwear. Under her armpits, she had the most gorgeous black hair, the kind you see on models in reality shows. I dared to peek down there, and saw that she had a full bush. She had wrinkles on her face and a slight paunch, both signs of her mature life. She was the full picture of womanhood, whereas I could barely grow any leg hair.

“Yes, I’m competing,” I said defiantly.

“Good for you,” the woman said. “I’m Natalie, by the way.” 

“Tara,” I said, taking my costume out of my bag. 

“Tip for you,” Natalie said, sidling up to me and rifling through the items in my bag. “Don’t wear heels. Judges want to see more natural, practical footwear. You might as well go barefoot. And don’t wear so much makeup. Who dressed you, your mother?”

I looked over what I’ve brought and almost teared up. I must be a masochist for thinking this was a good idea. More women were looking over at me, but I didn't care anymore. I had half a mind to pack up and leave now, but Natalie was still looking through my things, offering critiques. 

A man popped his head into the room and said, “Ladies, 30 minutes until showtime. Please be ready soon.” 

I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up. I shoved my way out of the locker room and ran through the hall, ignoring all the spectators milling about giving me strange looks. It occurred to me that I could have just thrown up in the locker room bathroom, but I couldn’t face all the other competitors again. I finally found a public bathroom and locked myself in a stall, dry heaving. Nothing came out, because I hadn’t eaten anything all day. 

After a while, my panic subsided enough for me to open the door and wash my face at the sink. When I looked up into the mirror, my pale, unwrinkled face stared back at me. I had been unfortunate enough to be cursed with the most unattractive traits possible. That was just how genetics worked.

“Are you all right, dear?” I turned to my right to see an old woman peering at me.

“I’m fine,” I lied in a high-pitched voice. “Are you competing in the pageant?” 

“No no, I’m here to support my mother. She’s the one competing.” 

“Oh,” I said. “Your mother must be beautiful, like you." There was something kind and comforting in her eyes that made me want to keep talking. “I’m competing too, but I don’t have a chance against everyone in that locker room. I don’t even know why I’m here. I thought signing up for this pageant would help me build some self-confidence, but so far, it’s just done the opposite. I don’t look like those models in TV shows or movies...”

As I was babbling on, the woman came up close to me, and grabbed my face with both hands. Too shocked to move, I just stared back into her eyes.

“My dear, I’ll tell you a secret,” she said.

“What?” I asked. Best to play along.

“Normally I don’t tell people this, but I’m a time traveler. I have lived many lifetimes and traveled to many parallel universes.”

“Oh…okay.” I wasn’t expecting her to say something crazy. I tried to wiggle out of her grip, but she held on.

“In another universe I visited, you would have been considered the most attractive woman in this competition. Some women starve themselves to get your body. Other women dye their hair to get your hair color. Many use strange lotions to make their skin look pale as the moon."

“What? Who would do that?” I asked in horror. She was definitely making things up to mock me.

“Beauty is different in every universe I have visited. Young, old, short, tall, pale, dark, big, small, the standards are never the same. Except they are always the same in one way. They are always used to make one group of people feel superior to others. And they are always used to make every person feel bad about themselves.” She winked and let go of my face. “What would beautiful look like if all these universes collided?” She pinched my nose playfully and walked out of the bathroom.

I shook my head as I watched her leave. Clearly, the woman had watched too many science fiction movies. I turned on the sink faucet and splashed water on my face to wash the remaining makeup off my face. When I had wiped clean every last bit of foundation, I looked in the mirror and pinched my nose as the woman had done earlier. For my whole life, my slightly upturned nose had been my least favorite part of my face.

But as I stared at it, I began to see how perfectly my nose fit at the center of my face. The straightness of the bridge and the flare of my nostrils gave my appearance a unique flair. It felt like I had traveled to an alternate universe right here in the ladies bathroom, to a universe where my nose was actually beautiful to me. 

I smiled at myself in the mirror. The woman’s weird speech had rubbed off on me after all. No matter what happened later today, I would always be Lady of my own universe.