Polka-Dot

Part One:

“Full knot?”

“Make it loose.”

Usually, I would not listen to my uncle, but he was a real ladies’ man back then, and I did not know what to do on a first date. My uncle Mike, proud to be around for the great moment, was already dressed to head out, but he wanted me to try out his scarf. Not even cold, I thought, so why would I need it? And then, after he took it from his neck, I felt the material.

So light and really smart…

“It’ll go with what you’re wearing right now.”

“Yeah, but it seems a little…too much?”

He smiled, wiping his forehead with a handkerchief that was covered with the same pattern.

“My point, Jeff. You got that suit from your mom’s imagination, so you need a little bit more. Just a little style.” He helped me wrap it around me, tucking it inside the light jacket I had and turned me to the mirror in our hallway.

Maybe we should have done this in the bathroom?

“Seriously? You look like a player!”

“Playa, mom. Geez.”

My mother and older sister, Lizard – actually, Lizzy – were both in the kitchen. They were listening in very closely and waiting for just the right moment to get their thoughts in.

“He looks great!”

“He looks like he’s ready to play.”

“Either way, he is ready.”

My mother, stepping out of the kitchen, was wiping down her hands with a terry cloth (I could smell the dinner that I wasn’t going to touch in the air; lamb and potatoes with gravy, my favourite at the time).

“Please, don’t be putting ideas in my kid’s head. He is just going out to dinner and a movie, not all this romance and nonsense you’re filling his head with.”

“I am just giving him a great start.”

My sister, from the living room, turned off the TV – was that hockey – and stomped into the hallway.

“Just don’t embarrass me, all right?”

“And how is this about you?”

“Hello? Babysit much? I am gonna have to hear about it when I see her next weekend. Just watch it?”

My mother, realizing that I was under attack, swatted at her head with the cloth.

“You are all putting dumb ideas in my son’s head. Let him just enjoy this one.”

Uncle Mike stared me up and down and seemed to be looking through me.

“Just be a gentleman, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Remember…”

“I will.”

I was going to walk over to her place and then get a cab, but I was still worried about something.

“Uncle Jeff, are you going to be home when I get back?”

He looked at me with a deep frown, my mom and sister staring over him as he looked at me.

“Well, maybe kid. Why?”

“No, I just…I think I might want to talk to you later.”

When I left, I looked back and saw all three of them looking at me as they stood in the dim light of the hallway. It was a beautiful late afternoon, and I could smell some of the cologne that my uncle gave me on my scarf.

And there was something else that I wanted to ask him. I just couldn’t say what it was at the time.

*

Part Two:

“You still have it?”

“Why not?”

The same black scarf with white polka-dots was now on my bed. My late-uncle, gone now for about ten years, left it to me after that night. He had told me that it was now mine and that I should keep it as a memory of that night…

That night…

“Are you gonna…?”

Lizzie, once again, giving me some advice that I did not want, especially on a night like this one. I just had to finish up what I had on with something personal. We were both in black; the cars were black; the funeral was going to start in about an hour. So…here we were, two kids again trying to understand what life was really like. We were also looking at how things were shifting and changing all around us.

“Thought I would. Problem?”

“Maybe it’s too much today? Too much style?”

“Not a problem before. Not much of a problem now. Anyone noticing?”

She picked it up, stood next to me in the mirror, and smiled.

“You’re right. Wear it. No one will really notice. Perfect for the weather today, too.”

She wrapped it around my neck, still feeling how light it was around my shoulders (could swear that his cologne was still lingering).

“I miss her, Jeff.”

“I miss them both, Lizzie. Lizard.”

She punched me on the shoulder, wiping her tears away with her free hand.

“Smaller and smaller circles. That’s what life is all about, I think. Mom gone and our uncle, and who’s left? Relatives I barely know and you. Like I am in the middle of joke that I just can’t get out of. Nothing to get out of.”

She sat on my bed, looking in her purse for a tissue. I gave her my handkerchief (another matching gift from Uncle Mike).

“Now you know why I wanna wear this.”

I don’t know how long we had the hug, but I did hear a car honking outside and we both somehow stepped out of my place and into a long ride to say our goodbyes.

*

Part Three:

“I love it!”

“Not just pulling your uncle’s leg?”

“Nah, this is…really funky and stylin’!”

I was old, and even felt old, and my nephew was making it worse for me as he spoke and sounded like me back in the day. He had his prom coming up and I thought that what he had on was pretty…stylin’. It was a good look for him. But there was something else it needed; something else that was the right touch.

“Glad you like it. It’s yours.”

He turned so quickly I thought his neck would crack.

“Seriously? Really? Thanks, Uncle Jeff!”

“No thanking me. This is a tradition now. You get it and promise to hand it off to the next generation.”

“Done and done.”

“Just don’t get started on that generating too soon!”

We laughed too hard and too close to my sister to get away with it.

“Again with the dirty jokes? You wanna corrupt my son?”

“Oh, absolutely. What else is an uncle to do?”

“Terrible.”

“Mom…”

She saw the scarf around his neck.

“Seriously? This again?”

“It looks great on him. And it’s his choice.”

“It looks great with the look. Really cool with the black and white.”

“Contrast, contrast, contrast…”

“You two…” She sounded annoyed, but I could tell that she was pleased with both of her little men. “Just don’t keep that girl waitin’. I’ll be downstairs, Pappy.”

“Mom! I hate…”

“I know. Just let me have it one last time.” She kissed him on the cheek, punched me again on the arm, and walked out slowly, looking back at both of our stupid selves staring in the mirror.

“Pete, my sister is impossible. Let her be a little more impossible for a little longer.”

“Okay.”

“And enjoy that prom.”

“I will.” I passed him the corsage as he was about to step out. He smiled at it, me, and looked around the room. “Thanks.”

“Thank you for the tradition. Keep it going.”

“Right.”

And then, just as he was about to step out.

“You gonna be here tomorrow, Uncle Jeff?”

“I might pass by. What’s up?”

“Nothing, just… I just thought…”

He didn’t say anything, just walked down the stairs and went out for the night. I stayed up with my sister, laughing about our lives and told her about what her son said to his uncle.

“Must have something pretty big on his brain.”

“Maybe. Just reminds me of something else.”

“Sure.”

I stayed up pretty late, and I did not want to go home. I was not going to miss that next day.