Made with Love

        Sarah flopped onto her unmade bed, bored. Christmas wasn’t going to be the same this year. The decorations weren’t even up yet, and no one felt like celebrating. It’d been 8 months since her Grandma died, but Sarah couldn’t remember a holiday without her and her cakes and pies. She was always baking.

           This semester had been a struggle for Sarah, but now that she was home on break, there was a huge gap without her grandmother.

           Sarah wandered down to the kitchen for a snack, but after she rummaged in the cupboards all she could find was stale crackers. In the past, the pantry was always filled.

           Mom wouldn’t be home until 5:30 or so, and Evie was coming over tonight to decorate but no one had the heart for it. 

           Suddenly Sarah had an idea. Checking the pantry for ingredients, Sarah began her list. Tonight, she would make Grandma’s apple cake, a Christmas tradition. Grandma always swore her cakes would heal any ailment, and they needed healing now.

           “Do you remember the ingredients for Grandma’s apple cake,” Sarah texted her mother.

           “I don’t recall all of it,” Lauren texted back. “Check Grandma’s recipe box.”

           Sarah pulled out the overflowing tin box that was probably as old as her mother. It bulged with handwritten recipes and little cut-outs from magazines. Her best memories were baking beside her Grandmother. Even when she had been little, she’d let Sarah do more than just stir the bowl. Her grandmother could make anything, and she’d taught Sarah her tricks and shortcuts.

           Most of the recipes had her grandmother’s beautiful penmanship but faded and with food stains. Sarah carefully looked through the cards for the apple cake recipe. Some cards were stuck together but she couldn’t find the one she wanted. Grandma knew it by heart.

           After a while Sarah gave up and made her grocery list from memory. She knew aside from the flour, sugar, and apples, that it contained coconut and black walnuts.

           As Sarah picked up the ingredients, she felt inspired for the first time this season, and couldn’t wait to surprise her mom and sister with the cake. It would almost feel like a little of Grandma was still with them.

           Easily remembering the base of the recipe, Sarah quickly measured out the eggs and oil and sifted in the dry ingredients just like her Grandmother taught her. Grandma always said a heaping teaspoon of cinnamon was better than just a teaspoon, so Sarah added that. Then she peeled and chopped the apples. She put on the radio and had Christmas music in the background, and she could almost conjure her grandmother standing beside her. Christmas felt a little lighter. 

           She mixed in the grated coconut and black walnuts. Grandma insisted on black walnuts, but there was something missing and she couldn’t remember what it was. Her special ingredient. That magical touch. Sarah wracked her brain but couldn’t remember.

           “Hey, sweetie,” Lauren said, coming in the back door, letting in a whoosh of cold air.

           “Hi, Mom,” Sarah said, distracted.

           “You’re baking! It almost looks like Mom is here,” Lauren said.

           “I wanted to surprise you,” Sarah admitted. “I’m making Grandma’s apple cake, but there is something missing.”

           “The coconut or black walnuts?”

           “Got ‘em. And the extra cinnamon,” she said, before her mother could respond.

           “Maybe Evie knows,” Lauren suggested.

           “Evie can’t boil an egg!” Sarah laughed. “She won’t remember.”

           “Well if anyone can figure it out it’s you. You are so much like your Grandmother,” Lauren told her. “You didn’t get just her name but her talent in the kitchen as well. It’s so nice to see you in here. I can almost feel her here,” Lauren said, wistfully.

           “Me too."

           Just then Evie barged through the door carrying dinner. "It feels like snow," she announced, as she set down the pizza. "It's cold! Ooh, what are you baking?" Evie wanted to know.

           "Grandma's apple cake, but it's missing something," Sarah said, setting the table.

           As the three of them sat down to dinner they began to catch up.

           "How's school?" Evie asked her little sister.

           "Don't ask," Sarah answered, grumpy.

           "She has to declare her major," Lauren told Evie.

           "Not to mention I hate all my classes!"

           "You should do something creative," her sister suggested. "You inherited all of Grandma's creative genes. I certainly didn't get them,” Evie admitted.

           "Let me see the picture," Sarah asked her sister, changing the subject.

           Evie whipped out the sonogram she carried with her. "Your niece," she said proudly.

          "Oh my gosh," Sarah gushed. "She's a little person already."

           "Next Christmas will be so exciting," Lauren said, looking at the picture of her first grandchild.

           "I just wish Grandma could meet her," Evie said with melancholy. "It feels so quiet without her. She was such a huge presence in this house. Between her baking or crocheting and the TV on loud with her soaps, she filled a room.

           "She was everywhere," Lauren said, swiping a tear.

           "And we're going to keep her alive with our memories," Sarah said, getting up. "And if I can figure out what this cake is missing with her recipes too."

           "Hey while you're up can you get me a glass of orange juice?" Evie asked.

           "Orange juice with your pizza?” Sarah asked, aghast.

           “I’ve been craving it,” Evie defended.

           As Sarah set the glass of orange juice on the table, she had an epiphany.  “That’s it! That’s the missing ingredient! Orange juice!”

           “You’re right,” her mother agreed.

           Sarah measured the orange juice into the cake batter then poured it into the bundt cake pan. “Let’s decorate while the cake is baking,” she suggested.

           They hauled the tree and decorations down from the attic and set about putting it up.

           “Grandma would have insisted on a real tree,” Evie mentioned.

           “I know, but I just haven’t had the time to get one,” Lauren admitted.

           "Oh look, here are some of the ornaments Grandma sewed by hand," Sarah exclaimed, holding a delicate felt cardinal.

           "She made those when I was little," Lauren said, fingering the ornament with nostalgia.

           "Mmm, I can smell the cake," Evie commented. "When's it ready?"

           "Soon. I'll check on it." Sarah traipsed carefully through the boxes and bins littering the floor to the kitchen.

           "It smells like Christmas," Evie called from the living room.

           "Eat it while its warm ladies," Sarah said, loaded up with three plates.

           "Oh, my goodness, Sarah! You definitely have Grandma's touch," Evie said, with a mouth full. "Maybe you should be in culinary school instead."

           "Hey, I like that idea," Sarah said, between bites. "Baking classes I would love!"

           "Grandma could've been a professional baker," Evie said. "I think you should really think about it, Sarah."

           "Hey, I'm still paying her college expenses," their mother put in.

           "Not everyone is meant for college," Evie pointed out. "Sarah's given it 2 years. If she's really that unhappy maybe she should consider it?"

           "I'll support you whatever you decide," Lauren added. "As long as you make a decision and then stick with it."

          "This is really just like Grandma’s, isn’t it?" Sarah said, scraping up the crumbs.

           "It feels like Grandma is here," Evie said. "I'm glad we're doing this. And she would whoop with joy if you went to culinary school."

           "We have a lot to look forward to with the baby coming," Lauren said, plugging in the tree lights. "A little of Mom is in all of us."

Old Fashioned Apple Cake Recipe

3 cups of flour

2 cups white sugar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

1 heaping teaspoon ground cinnamon

3 eggs

1 1/4 cup vegetable oil

¼ cup orange juice

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup apple peeled, cored, and chopped

1 cup black walnuts

1 cup flaked coconut      

6 tablespoons butter

1 cup white sugar

½ cup buttermilk

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour Bundt pan.

In large bowl, combine flour, 2 cups sugar, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Make a well in the center and pour in the eggs, oil, orange juice and vanilla. Mix well. Stir in the chopped apple, nuts, and coconut. Pour into prepared pan.

Bake in the preheated oven for 75 to 90 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Pour glaze over cake and let stand for 1 hour before turning out.

To Make the Glaze:

In a saucepan, combine butter, 1 cup of sugar, ½ teaspoon baking soda and ½ cup buttermilk. Bring to a boil and pour over cake.