The Melted Icebergs Between Us.

Anna: We surround the gold table. All of us. Their eyes slide across one another, everyday it hints to the people we once knew. Their faces have contorted so profusely that I vaguely remember them from my dreams. Especially Ryan, his blue eyes strangely dimmed. I remember how it shone so bright when it met mine under the bleachers, we met there every day during lunch. His blond hair, always ruffled by one girl or the other, never by me though. I promised myself.

He sits here now, so humble as he sips from his cup. Does he look happy? Could the rushed breaths and hushed words represent his happiness? He danced to our song earlier, I'm not sure he remembered. He pumped his fist in an embarrassing movement. His dancing hadn't improved. His fingers twist in the same manner, the same way I held it on his birthday. On that day, the sun embraced me and I thought I recognized the heat on his cheeks when I stepped forward. He fed me cake until he tried to escape in the candles he blew out. 

The room is filled with gold, it blinds me. It reminds me of the last day we talked to each other. The sun beat my face and I shielded it with the cup of my palm, I also hid the tears. We said a casual goodbye, as if we would see each other the next day. We won’t go a day without seeing each other until the laughter of our childhood dies out. I see the day as I close my eyes. The heat seeping through my eyelids and manifesting into a bright red interior, so wherever I looked I would never escape. I remember the sting of my tongue, aching to say something. But he didn't say, so neither did I.

The gold of the room washes over his eyes, it guides his movements and follows him, trailing not far behind him. It highlights his shadows until he stands close to me. He invites me into his warmth.

After he left that day, I remember a cold breeze at my side. I remember the glossed eyes that glanced over me, glancing at my side and glancing away when they saw he was gone. They expected him and so did I. I remember I couldn't look at myself in the mirror for years and I stared at the ceiling most nights right after scrolling through his instagram. I wonder if he sees that now, the emptiness in my eyes that has been there since the sun couldn't find it.

The gold now waits and reminds me, until it gets too bright. I wonder if I tell him, if he would hang over me like a cloud shielding me from the burning rays of fire.

I consider telling him as we linger in the corner. Dancing close together and laughing at the sound of the music. My tongue stings with desire as I open my mouth to scream how much I needed him but as he raises the cup to his lips, the gold ring blinds me and I cover my eyes once more. Running to shield my heart from the stinging brightness.

Ryan: The room is crowded with the past and the future but all I see is the beautiful forest of her dark curly hair. The hair that haunts my dreams and surrounds my every thought. On days where the arms of my jacket are folded, I feel the breeze engulf me until I stare at the door and wish her dark hair would cover me and hold me into the days where we sat in the playground behind her house. I sit in my office at work and I find myself wishing I would look up and she would suddenly be there, smiling so familiarly. I find the sight of her too overwhelming, the awe of delirium tightens my chest and I suddenly have to leave to avoid her seeing the tears in my eyes. When she smiled at me the first time, I thought I was dreaming. All of my dreams for the past eight years have started this way, then they end always with the absence of her warmth that starts the formation of the icicles in my heart. But now, how smoothly they are melted by the fire in her eyes.

She stands now, talking with everyone. Crowded and free. It takes me back to the crowded days on campus. I remember standing in the scorching sun but my skin shivering in remembrance of her. I remember every time I closed my eyes, I would see the image of us sharing food underneath the bleachers. The talks we had. The melody of her voice singing through my ears. I admit, I didn't realize how much I needed her. But the emptiness pierces my side every moment. How can I tell her that I cried the day before my wedding knowing she wasn't there.

I take off my jacket as I join her on the dance floor. Disguising my fear in the warm outline of her existence. What a shame, she had said. "I don't know why we didn't keep in touch." She had hidden her face in the blinding lights that hung on the ceiling. As if it wasn't a fact that pierced through my heart everyday. To ache for someone to be by your side every second is an anchor disguised as a joyous body part. However, If she asked me to stay, I would have dropped all my bags and clung at the heel. But she didn't.

The way she's looking at me through her eyelashes brings goosebumps to the length of my arm. But then her face changes and the cooling sensation I've gotten so used to seeps through my heart as she runs away. And my future is shown as an iceberg never moving and happiness doomed to freeze over.

NOTE: Sorry for the extremely corny lines.