Square Root

“Beep, Beep, Beep” the sound went on in succession “Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep” so ingrained was the tone she hadn’t noticed it had stopped. So occupied was her mind, abuzz with varied thoughts of the tasks she wanted to complete, and the tasks she must complete. “Miss, are you alright?” The clerk asked as she fell back into the present. “Madam, did you hear me? That will be 1200.79 Francs.” Waiting patiently the clerk eagerly watched her reach into her pocketbook, and slid out the correct amount of currency with expediency, rushing her out of his line, all but shoving her bags into her arms. Once in the car, she reached for the visor, grabbing her notebook. Hastily she jotted down what she’d gotten from Carrefour, now she needed to go to Regabon, then after that Supergros. 

The street changed to the highway as she headed home with her haul. Placing the items she needed to the side, she emptied the bags putting them where they belonged in her home. Showering she quickly washed, and brushed her teeth. Then in a mad dash, she threw her clothes on. In the mirror she admired herself “Bernadette”, she said, “Don’t you look lovely today?” She’d learned that in therapy, a self-proclamation in the mirror. When she felt down about herself, or when she felt “the incident” start to pull her elsewhere she was to look in the mirror and give herself confirmation. As if her house weren’t confirmation enough, more rooms than she could ever sleep in, and more jewelry than she could ever truly wear. Feigning a smile she looked back at herself meekly, “No that’s not it,” she turned her head from the mirror she couldn’t look at herself. “You’ve got to give me a true smile. Come on I know it’s in you. Back in the mirror, she gave a more elated version of herself. Finding this suitable, she went downstairs heading to her car. 

The road to work wasn’t far it took about thirty minutes to get there, she’d made sure to equip her car for what she needed when she was finished. Adjusting her mirror she ensured the bags were safely tucked under meaningless items. Work was a madhouse. Surgeries back to back, but she made it through. Her hands were tired but not enough for them to rest yet, more work was to be done. Mid-way through her shift she found time to take a nap, resting in a cot in the staffers' lounge.

The lights thrummed in time with the music that flooded the air. The drink in her hand was bitter, but she forced it down trying not to focus on the taste. Like the phasing lights, nerves bounced around her stomach. She’d worn her best jewelry, her best makeup, her latest dress, and all for what? For her to stand at the back corner of the bar? Too afraid to speak to someone? To frightened of intimacy to even get her toes wet. The liquor was supposed to remedy that, it was supposed to make her feel at ease, and help her deal with the anxiety that bubbled up the moment she opened her mouth. Leaving her empty glass at the table, she clacked her heels across the floor, then she tapped at the bar grabbing the keeps attention “Another one. Make it a double.” 

Glasses were stacked neatly at her table, a woman walked by with a tray collecting them. Bernadette reached into her clutch, gripping a few Francs for a tip. The woman’s face was almond-shaped, she had wide brown eyes, with a long neck. She was tall, just about as tall as Bernadette, something rare since she was about 6’2”. A smile appeared in the corner of the woman’s mouth. In the bathroom, they exchanged making out in the third stall. Bernadette learned the name of the girl she had her tongue down the throat of when she had finished their second passionate kiss. “Druja. Or Dru for short.” She said then she slid her hand around Bernadette’s thigh, then further up still, further up until she was beneath the lining of her silk panties. The alarm on her phone sounded, which meant it was time for the next surgery. Groggily she tossed off sleep, grabbing herself a cup of coffee on her way out into the hall. 

At the desk she looked over the symbols she’d been scribbling, each one was made precisely so. The entirety of the page was filled with them, over and over she’d made pages of them, placing the completed copies in a shredder only after she found them satisfactory. A hand was on her shoulder, and she jumped. “I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you heard me knock.” Charlot came in, though she wore scrubs parts of her still managed to fill every bit of them. Bernadette did her best not to take notice. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you.” Surreptitiously she slid her drawing down into her shredder. Gratification came when she heard the gears begin to grind. 

“I’d been knocking for quite a while, then I asked if you were busy. I swore you answered me.” Charlot had a curious look, then she laughed a bit, which in turn made Bernadette laugh. “Long day Bernie?” Charlot asked. “Longer than I’d like it to be,” Bernie admitted. “Don’t worry the night’s almost through. We can grab a drink or two after, I think I feel the same…or worse.” Charlot let her hearty laughter fill the small office, so infectious was it that Bernie had no option but to join in. “Ok, we will see. I’m not promising anything yet.” Bernie said, scrawling across one of the many documents that needed her signature. “Of course, of course,” Charlot said catching the hint it was time to go back to work. “I’ll leave you to it.” With the eyes of a wolf longing for a prime cut of meat, she watched Charlot waltz back to the door, abruptly she had turned, and at the moment Bernie had her head towards Charlot’s shape, no she was focused on the door. “Bye.” Charlot waved.

The steam of the shower always cleared her mind. With a grin she welcomed the hot flow, allowing it to take her trouble with it. Watching it swirl down the drain, she imagined all the bullshit of the day spiraling out. Under the shower, she rinsed her head. There were advantages to short hair, one of many being she wouldn’t drown in a sea of wet hair, while her mind wandered. Throwing her scrubs in her bag, she got dressed in her streetwear. “Bernadette, what do you have planned for tonight?” Charlot said to her, as she was slipping into her dress. Bernadette watched the dress slide down her form, she saw it caress her shape, going down until it covered the silk panties she wore. Charlot had turned around swiftly, causing Bernadette to turn her head a bit, giving her some privacy. “You think you’re down for a drink tonight?” Charlot asked. “Maybe we can get you a man. Verrill has a friend he thinks would be good for you. Someone tall, handsome too. I think Verrill said he is in the tea industry.” 

The prospect of a night out between her and Charlot had been alluring, but the mix of Verrill and his ‘acquaintance’ took all the blood from her cheeks. Thinking of the alternative, she could say no, she could very well make up an excuse for Charlot, one of the many she had for such an occasion. This was something she contemplated, alongside the gossip that came with it. Despite it being without punishment, Homosexuality was not encouraged. Not like it had been in America. Here they would talk about her, and the rumors would spread, though Charlot always put them to rest for her. On the other hand, if the rumors caught steam, they could lose to her no longer being able to practice, which meant no house, no car, and that also meant… “So what do you think?” Charlot said. She was already dressed, just finishing putting her earrings on. “You’re not even dressed yet? Oh, Bernie.. you sure you want to go out tonight?”

For dinner, they’d chosen somewhere new. Bernie had driven herself, choosing to meet the others at the restaurant. The less she had to pretend the better. She also managed to squeeze in a small trip to a shop, grabbing a small dress to show extra effort and give Charlot more to barricade against the gossip mill. Walking in she went to the hostess stand, but Charlot and Verrill already spotted her. “Over here” Charlot stood up to say, a smile from ear to ear was across her face, her white teeth complimented by her red lipstick. The bracelets she wore jingled as she signaled. “Look at you”, Charlot said holding her tight. In Bernie’s ear, she whispered “Nothing too bad yet. This one seems like a catch.” She’d said it fast so as not to catch anyone’s attention, then Bernie said “Good cause I’ve brought my net.” At that the two of them chuckled, sitting at their prospective spots.

If she’d been into men, he would have been a candidate. The man was handsome, with strong cheekbones, and a prominent jawline. When he stood up to reach for a hug, he smelled rich like frangipani blossoms and oud. Bright white teeth, perfectly aligned gave the most elated of expressions as he took her in. The flattery was nice, and remembering she was on cue she smiled the way she’d seen other girls do, as they were looked over by their prospective suitors. A blush even managed to brighten her cheeks, this was something Charlot must have noticed, for she whispered to Verrill. The man’s name was Razo. Razo Otumbe. Bernie made a rhyme at dinner “Razo Otumbe, Born on a Monday. Razo Otumbe, Born on a Monday” It helped her keep his name fresh in her mind, with it being preoccupied she found it hard to focus. 

The wine was poured glass after glass, it was true as Charlot had shared Razo was very endowed. There was not a course he didn’t know on the menu, nor did he find any of the food distasteful, he savored every bite. The conversation he provided was extraordinary, having traveled the world Razo had much to share about his experiences, he was very much into himself, Bernie came to find out after listening to fifteen minutes of his recent excursion to Thailand. When he had finished she promptly excused herself to the bathroom.

Extravagant smoke doors lead to the restroom. Bernie took a moment at the sink, relieved to not have to pretend, if only for a few moments. Looking at herself she stared in the mirror, connecting with the Woman beyond the reflection. “Just a bit longer.” She steeled herself, “You’ve got this.” Having nothing to do in the bathroom, she washed her hands out of habit, allowing the water to flow over them, giving her thoughts room to untangle. 

The lights of the night were dimming, through the flurry of the disco, she’d been entranced. Convinced by Dru to accompany her for a rendezvous, with an anxious heart she’d said yes. They didn’t hold hands walking down the street, though Bernie wanted to. Behind closed doors in the intimacy of Dru’s apartment, they’d begun to kiss and run along the form of each other’s bodies. Bernie could trace the small of her back from memory if she’d wanted, that was how long they’d been in the embrace of one another. Throwing her back on the bed Dru ravaged her. In ecstasy, Bernie threw her head back and thrust her hips up. Feeling the sensation coursing through her, she convulsed as the pleasure continued. A hand was now on her breast, she felt it nuzzling her plump bosom.

A slight prick she felt, nothing major just the end of a nail, then the star pain shot across to her arm. The hands had changed somehow, no longer dainty and nimble, the hands themselves felt like they had grown when she gazed at her chest, she saw a leathery ruby-skinned hand grasping her tit. In fear she’d jumped, unable to escape as the claw gripped her firmer applying pressure to hold her in place. “No…get off of me.” Bernie kicked with her legs, then the beast unveiled a pair of wings, which it used to grab her legs. Half nude she tried to free herself, but the monstrous grip only furthered her into the mattress. With her fists, she beat on its back, as it had its way with her…

“BERNIE, are you alright?”Charlot said pulling Bernie out of her trance. The water at the sink was running, and spots of blood were in the basin. Looking at herself, Bernie saw her nose had been bleeding. “Oh, my god. Let me grab you some paper.” Charlot moved swiftly, rushing back to her side. Bernie held the paper to her nose, moving herself to a stall for more privacy. “Are you ok?” Charlot asked while Bernie ensured the blood wouldn’t stain her dress. “I’m fine, I just had a nosebleed.” Charlot said, “You should have a doctor look at that.” 

At the table, she was welcomed like a traveler returning from abroad. “I was worried about you,” Razo said, then he ginned with the corner of his mouth, biting his lip. “I was worried about myself,” Bernie said, then she took her seat. Looking at her watch she saw the time for her prior engagement was drawing nigh. With grace she excused herself, thanking Charlot, and Verrill for their time, and she made a point to act as if her parting was displeasing, due in fact to Razo being there for her. That water cooler would be smoking on Monday morning, full of the ins and outs of the dinner. 

Getting in the car, she went three blocks and then turned down an alley. Being at the dinner, in that damn bathroom almost made her miss it. The dress she began to tear off her, reaching over the seat and grabbing a bag she began to sort through what she needed. Then she tossed it on the seat beside her and opened the sunroof. Bright and bold the moon shone, so close she thought she could reach up and grab it. The sky behind it was clear, stars twinkled slightly, poking through the light pollution. With a quick swig, she downed the bottle of rosemary and blue vervain, then she munched on ginger root. Dousing the amulet in a jar, she pulled it up took the string, and hung it over the mirror. Steadily she drove until a slight glow emanated, when she made a slight turn and the glow dimmed, she eased herself around till it started up once more.

The evening rolled on, the gem had a steady glow so she knew she was closer than she’d been. Bold circles of ruby shimmered in the cabin, looking up overhead she saw only the moon, onward she went driving in the direction of the brightest glint until she came up to a sign reading “LOANGO NATIONAL PARK”. Turning her lights down she drove in darkness, parking along the side entrance. Snagging her keys, the gem, and her bag she trekked through the trees. Monkeys called, and birds sang their nightly hymns as she felt her way in the dark. From her bag now and then she pulled a machete, hacking only when she found it necessary. The smell of a skunk filtered the air, so strong was the stench that she felt her nostrils begin to burn. Reaching into the bag she found a small bottle, placing it at her fingertips she rubbed it on her nose, stopping the burn, but keeping the scent. 

“CRACRACRA” At the sound Bernie stopped, she held her breath waiting to hear. “CRAAACRAAA” The sound was a high pitch, warble which was piercing to the ear. Stealthily she crept, the smell was now of burnt matches, so she was getting further away, locating where it was the strongest she continued. The stench of rotting eggs now, she knew it couldn’t be far. Sounds of the jungle had halted, and silence fell heavily on her ears, doing nothing to drown the drum beneath her throat. Ahead of her scattered in spots were bones, the moon caught the top of them, showing the bare alabaster back of a skull. Up the trail fresher prey lined the path a severed arm, deep onyx in color was on a makeshift post. On either side lay something, upon inspection Bernie could make out it was a set of lungs.

“RRRAAAOORR”, “RRRAAAOORR”, the sound was distorted as it echoed from the cave. Erupting from it the beast expelled itself rabidly. Without thought Bernie grabbed her rope, throwing it in the direction of a red flash. Feet lifted off the ground, she attempted her best to reel in her catch. “Av Kin Noct” Bernie said digging her heels into the ground. “Nhg Vitw” the amulet “KEEEE KEEE” Flapping its wings the entity tried to escape her. Turning itself to face her, Bernie saw its wide singular eye. A yellow iris, with a pupil like a goat. The red wings it writhed with, looked like skin stretched beyond its limit, so thin it almost was translucent. “Av Kin Noct, Nhg Vitw” 

A siren rang from the mouth of the bat-like entity, deafening in pitch Bernie had no choice but to cover her ears, relinquishing her grip on the rope. Upward the imp rose, until it was a shadow against the backdrop of clouds, then up further still where she could no longer sense it. Bernie trotted back to her car reminding herself “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”