Isaiah wasn’t sure what to expect when he announced that he was going up the cabin first. In fact, he wasn’t quite sure why he decided to in the first place. He could’ve asked Sherman, the caretaker to prepare the place but instructed him instead to leave out logs for the fireplace and to touch nothing else.
Serena disagreed wholly with his idea but his mind had already been made up. The plan was for her to come up two days after he had put everything in order. And then they could visit Farkle’s grave together as intended.
Now, he wasn’t certain that his decision was ideal as he stared at the dusty situation that afforded him when he stepped inside. The cabin was musty and dark and cold but for all its dreary glory, everything looked rather in order, something he was much thankful for. It would take time to clean up but it could be done. He made a mental note to go into town to get some air fresheners to help with the damp smell and to call on Sherman while he was at it. Isaiah was going to need all the help he could get. At the moment, he needed rest. The road trip was long and exhausting. The hike to the cabin wasn’t particularly easy as well, with the unrelenting snow and the relentless cold.
Isaiah let his eyes adjust to the darkness first and then went to remove the sheet off the kitchen counter, surprised to find it cleaner than he had expected. He set his belongings on the counter and took out his phone to call and let Serena know he had arrived safely. He cursed, frustrated realizing that he had only a bar to go before his phone died and no cell service. He dug into his backpack to for his charger and tried plugging into a socket only to find out that the power was out as well. Recognizing that he was absolutely stranded, he reviewed the ridiculousness of his decision and concluded that it wasn’t the stupidest thing he had done by far so he had better suck it up and make do. The darkness he didn’t mind, but if he was to be stuck without electricity, cell service and no internet, he reasoned that he’d rather not freeze to death and began work to start the fireplace.
It nine past ten when he got into bed and an hour later, he still couldn’t go to sleep. It was a fool’s dream really; in a very old remote cabin, with the wind rattling the shutters and the loud swooshing as the cold air rushed in, sleep was not going to be an eager partner. Or perhaps it wasn’t nature trying to best him. Perhaps, he was his own enemy, forcing sleep in a bid to keep his demons at bay.
Tired and unwilling to have another debate with his subconscious, Isaiah got up from his makeshift bed on the couch and went to stoke the fire and then lit some candles Serena had packed for him.
“What could warm the coldest of hearts than wax and a string?” she would always ask, though it was more of an assault to his less than warm character than an actual question. Admittedly, the warm glow of the candles made him feel better, safer. He felt its heat embrace him and as the flames melted in his eyes, so did all of his pain. He continued to stare at the dancing flames till he grew lighter and lighter and the flames, brighter and brighter till everything dulled again, leaving behind the figure of a very familiar person. Isaiah rubbed his eyes repeatedly but the figure still stood there.
“You’re dead. I watched you die.” He choked out, in a mixture of fear and disbelief.
“If you can see me, it means I’m here. It means I’m real,” the figure replied and plopped in one of the chairs and started to whistle a tune.
Isaiah shook his head. He knew that tune very well. It was from a tampon commercial. Serena hated it whenever they sang it. He closed his eyes, unwilling to be victim to his minds tricks. The mind was cruel when given the chance but he didn’t know it was capable of such barbarism. He was seeing his best friend, his brother in all but blood who was supposed to be dead seated right in front of him. Isaiah opened his eyes slowly, and surely, still seated was Farkle.
Weirdly, what he felt was more of disbelief than fear and the more he stared, the calmer he became.
“If you’re a ghost Farkle, I’m less scared than I thought I would be.” Isaiah stated, a little unsure of him.
“It’s because you know I’m not real, that it’s probably a dream_”
“But you just said_”
“I know what I said, dammit Izzy will you just enjoy this? When are you ever going to see me again like this?”
Isaiah stalled, frozen for a moment and then began to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. He was having an argument with a ghost. It sure was Farkle, because who else would make light of such an unbelievable situation?
“Well damn Far, it is you. No one has called me Izzy for years” he said quietly. There was a new light in Isaiah’s eyes as they smiled at each other, albeit sadly. Isaiah got up and stood by the windows, pretending to watch the snowflakes drop. He looked at Farkle through the glass shutters and found him staring at him too.
“What are you waiting for Izzy?”
“What do you mean?”
“Serena.”
Isaiah was quiet. He loved Serena but he didn’t know how to be with her. She loved Farkle first. But that was beside the point. It was like a part of him died along with Farkle. He didn’t know how to be with Serena when he couldn’t even give her all of him.
As if reading his thoughts, he replied “Serena loved me once Isaiah but that has changed over the last three years and you know it.”
He did know it.
“Remember Isaiah, I was happy. I was happier than I could ever ask for. Remember right here in this cabin, the last time we were up here.” Isaiah remembered. The memory was engraved on his heart. They had come up for winter break with their folks, snuck out at midnight and “mistakenly” ate all the marshmallows that was supposed to be used for s’mores on Christmas morning.
“Nineteen years and still fucking children.” Isaiah laughed, mimicking his father’s voice.
“First time Dad ever cussed at us.”
They both began to laugh, more so Isaiah who couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such fullness in his chest. And then as the laughter died down, he began to cry big heavy of tears.
“Izzy, I was happy.” Farkle said softly while enveloping him into a deep hug. They stayed like that for a while until Isaiah decided that was enough bromance for one night.
“You know you’re a shitty friend Farkle? You could’ve died anywhere but you chose to die in my hands.”
“Yes that was shitty of me wasn’t it?
They fell into bits of laughter again and that was that. The weight Isaiah had been carrying was lifted of his shoulders. They talked some more and laughed some more until light started to flood through the shutters. Whatever this was, Isaiah knew it was time for Farkle to go.
“It hurts Far.”
“I know it does Iz”
Farkle pulled him into one last hug and whispered in his ear, “Don’t lose Serena” and then faded away as a loud pounding sound pierced through Isaiah’s ears.
Isaiah got up with a start feeling like he had just been dropped from a tall building. The pounding got louder and louder and this time he could hear his name being called. He hurried to the open the door and there stood a paled Serena and Sherman, both looking worried out of their minds.
“Oh thank God I was so worried when you didn’t call. I had decided to come up here anyway so I left straight after work,” she said and hugged him fiercely. They both thanked Sherman for his help and then he left.
As they went inside, Serena stopped Isaiah in his tacks and turned him to face her.
“Your shoulders are loose, your face looks softer and your eyes don’t have chaos in them.”
Isaiah smiled and took her hand in his, pulling her for a hug.
“I love you Serena. “
He could feel her shock in their embrace but it was nothing compared to his shock when he saw the writing on the frosted shutter and in no one’s penmanship than Farkle.
Farkle was here.
And like every strange thing about that night, it was gone before he even had time to register its authenticity. And then he was brought back to reality to hear the words he didn’t know he had waited so long to hear.
“I love you too Isaiah.”
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
0 comments