Returning Home

She stood at the departure gates, ticket and passport in hand. Nervously contemplating the journey ahead. It had been a long time coming. Thirty years to be exact. Sheena felt herself falter as a wave of dizziness and nausea struck her body and her senses, out of the blue! The kindly gentleman standing behind Sheena , who just happened to be a doctor, recognizing the signs of someone about to faint, caught her as she felt herself falling into the darkness that enveloped her.

Coming to, just moments later. Sheena felt her face flush bright red with embarrassment. Strangers were all gathered around her staring with looks of concern. This was one of those times that she wished the floor would open up and swallow her!

Doctor Tom, as his patience liked to call him in the great outback of Australia, gently cupped his hand under her chin as he turned her head towards his own. She immediately felt calm and thankful that this kind stranger had sensed she needed her focus shifted elsewhere. He was like her own Guardian Angel.

Once it was established that Sheena was okay , and that it was just a case of little sleep, an empty stomach and perhaps a little dehydration as well, The doctor gave the go ahead for his Sheena to board the waiting aircraft bound for beautiful Aotearoa , Land Of The Long White Cloud (New Zealand). He had of course suggested a sedative to help calm Sheena's frayed nerves which she didn't hesitate to take!

Sleep soon followed, but it was at a cost. Sheena soon found herself stuck in a never ending scene, where she found herself standing out the front of her grandparents home. To begin with, the sun was out and shining so bright she had to place her hand up over her eyes to shield them from the light. Then in an instant, The skies drastically changed to dark foreboding clouds that blocked out the sun in its entirety.

Sheena felt as though her legs had been filled with cement as she tried with all of her might to move forward, towards the iron gate that slammed violently open and closed with not a hint of wind forcing it to do so! In her mind, she knew this was just a dream, yet she couldn't pull herself out of it no matter how hard she tried!

A voice seemed to come out of nowhere, calling to her to "wake up!" It seemed familiar , yet she struggled to remember just who the voice belonged to. Finally managing to open her eyes, she once again found herself face to face with the kindly Soul that had come to her aide hours before. This time she felt less embarrassed and more relieved to know that once again her Guardian Angel had come to her rescue.

His was not the voice she had heard while she struggled to crawl out of her dreamscape. The voice had belonged to someone much younger and feminine. And in that moment a lightbulb went off inside her mind, as she realised that the voice she had heard calling to her was her own. Her fifteen year old version that is!

Exchanging numbers with her new found friend and forever Guardian Angel, Sheena braved the cold front that greeted her as she headed towards the tarmac to the private charter plane awaiting her and a few other passengers travelling the next leg of the journey to the same destination. A little town called Napier, Her hometown. Once inside the plane, she still felt as though nothing could shake the chill she felt running along her spine. Taking slow deep breaths , Sheena grabbed a hold of the tumbled greenstone she carried in her pocket , given to her on her departure from New Zealand to Australia by her grandmother Genie all those years ago. As a token of her love and a way to remember that she had a home to come to if ever she decided to return.

The landing was a little shaky , but all in all the short flight had gone well. Sheena had even managed to strike up a conversation with the older woman she had found herself seated by. Another Guardian Angel sent to help no doubt. As luck would have it, Greta was heading in the same direction as Sheena. So they agreed to share a cab. It was as though Greta knew Sheena was in need of support for this next part of her journey.

Greta held her hand tightly as they pulled up to the familiar weatherboard house, looking exactly the same as it did thirty years before. Even the pale green color around the outside of the house, seemed to give the appearance of time standing still. It brought a smile to Sheena's face yet she also felt utterly terrified to be face to face with the home from her childhood she had run away from many years ago!

Hugging Greta , probably a little too long and too tightly. Sheena thanked her for her support up to this moment in time. Greta did not know the full story, yet she had sensed that something awful had happened to this young woman that she had found herself drawn to from the moment they had first made eye contact. Sheena reminded her of her own daughter in a way. But more so of herself when she had experienced a traumatic situation in her childhood. That "look" stayed with you no matter how hard you tried to mask it.

The Iron gate stood open, as if awaiting her return. The familiar scent of daffodils wafted up her nostrils as she walked along the short concrete path leading up to the front door of her beloved grandparents place. Her own childhood home had once stood a few streets away. Replaced by a row of uniformed units lacking in warmth and character. That seemed to be the trend these days. Knocking down houses with a decent backyard. Cramming in tiny little two storey flats to house the ever growing human population. Supply in demand as they say.

Tears began to form as Sheena raised her hand towards the ornate cast iron door knocker, that had seemed so much larger when she had been a kid! But before she could rap it, the door opened just a crack and a familiar voice , albut a little shaky called out "Who's there!"

followed by "Ma it's just Sheena! open the door will you!"

Grammy sure looked good for a one hundred and two year old! And Aunty Lizzy hadn't aged a bit apart from a few strands of silver streaks along the front and sides of her lustrous black hair.The fear that had almost sent Sheena into a frenzy, abated as quickly as it had arisen. It seemed that all was forgiven as the three women held each other tight. Tears flowed of course. But they were flowing with feelings of joy at being reunited after such a long time apart.

The words that Sheena had been practicing leading up to her arrival, seemed unimportant now. The pain she had once held onto for all of these years, dissolved in an instance! She felt so liberated and so light! What she had craved was to be released from the trauma of her past. And amazingly she had found it by returning to her past!