Darkness and Deep Secrets

They sat curled up in a corner, backpack at their side. Eyes shut as the last sliver of sun slipped below the horizon. The pages brushed their palm when the book shut softly.

Ghost woke with a shove. Courtesy of the walking, talking, stereotypical football player, Travis Lockwood. Their book fell to the ground and they flashed him a frown. He returned it with squinted eyes. Yawning, Ghost said, "What do you want Travis?" They rubbed their back and noticed the indents from the bookshelf they had fell asleep against.

Travis looked around at the near pitch black surroundings. "Dude. It's like the middle of the night. We're locked in," he sighed with a quick shrug of his shoulders. Ghost groaned and climbed to their feet. They turned on their heels and grabbed their book bag, heading for the front door. Travis followed saying, "Hey, I just told you we're stuck here. I already tried that," They ignored his warning and kept on moving forward, keys jingling in their hand. He picked up the pace and grabbed their shoulder, "Seriously Ghos-"

The slap came fast and hard. He held his face in his hand. The mark on his cheek burned a furious red and stung like a bitch. Ghost backed against the door and visibly panicked, "Don't fucking touch me!"

"Okay, okay," he calmly continued, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to get your attention," He held his hands up gesturing a resignation. They gazed into his eyes. The fear drifted away and their flushed cheeks lessened. Travis couldn't see their face, but he recognized the fear. He had felt it too. Ghost turned away from him resting their arms on the door. The only light they had was from the moon. Clouds were scarce and the stars shone bright.

They sighed as they stared through the glass of the door, "No, I'm sorry. It's just that when people touch me I freak out. It's a long story," The two of them walked in silence to the other side of the building sitting at a table in the back. Not visible from the front desk. Travis's backpack sagged on the floor. He had been hidden here when the library closed, too enthralled with his phone to notice. Ghost broke the silence first, "So... what now?"

Travis reached for the light, "Well, we could just talk?" He said it in a way that implied he was confused or maybe nervous that they would brush him off again. It took a moment for Ghost to adjust to the lighting, but when they did they caught a glimpse of something. Travis’s neck was covered in purple bruises. He noticed the concern and dipped his head down to pull up his hood. Their hooded eyes filled first with confusion, but then with sympathy. Travis looked up through his eyebrows and observed as Ghost’s face fell and their pupils dilated. For a moment their mouth fell open with intent to speak, but words had failed them. He stood as a way to escape the coming confrontation, “Hey I’m gonna go look for another way out, do you wanna come?”

“I guess,” They shrugged. They pulled themself to their feet and followed Travis down through the bookshelves and around tables. The silence was almost unbearable. They both knew it, but neither had the courage to speak up. Ghost was scared. Scared of Travis. Scared of the bruises that painted his skin like a sort of sick tapestry. Above all, they were afraid to ask what had happened. 

They parted ways and headed to opposite sides of the library. They scanned the walls and all the corners for doors to the outside world. Travis sighed and brushed his hand along the books in the shelves. He wandered the aisles and after a while stopped paying attention to the search. Instead he set his eyes on the books. He recognized a few, but the rest were foreign. He got lost in thought and pondered the expansive knowledge this building held. And all of it at his mercy. Ghost rounded the corner of a bookshelf and gasped, “Travis! I found a door!”

Travis jumped at the remark and started towards them. Once he arrived he looked at the door. It was all metal. There was a key already in the lock. Didn’t look like a door to the outside, but it was worth a shot. They turned their head to face him and shrugged. He gestured for them to open it.

Ghost grabbed hold of the knob. turned it, and pushed. The door creaked on it’s hinges and swung open revealing a sort of ominous set of stairs. Descending into darkness. They both stared down into the basement. As Ghost began to bound down the stairs Travis used his arm to block the way. With a contorted face he said, “Woah woah woah. Don’t you know anything about horror movies,” They stared into his eyes like he had lost his mind. Regardless he continued with a hint of contempt, “Seriously? Big scary flight of stairs. Middle of the night. Alone,”

“I’m not alone,” They shrugged. 

Travis sighed and rolled his eyes, “At least let me go first,” They agreed, reluctantly. He stepped in front of them and headed down. As expected the room at the bottom was seemingly darker than the most remote depths of space. They wandered around in the darkness searching for some form of lighting. Ghost tried to use the scarce light of the moon seeping in through the staircase to explore, but the shadows engulfed the room. A squeak. Both turned their heads to the door. Slowly the light disappeared and the door shut with a click. 

The night had them in his grasp. His pitch hands kept the light at bay. The two panicked and tried to adjust to the shift. Travis exclaimed, “See! This is what happens when you go into the basement. You never go into the basement,” 

Ghost let out a laugh, “Are you serious? This isn’t Scream, we don’t need to follow the horror movies rules,” His eyes searched for their voice. He took a moment and then laughed, “What are you laughing at?” Ghost said. Half joking and half self conscious. They uncrossed their arms and continued inspecting the walls for a switch. 

He struggled to let out the words between weak chuckles, “It’s just. It’s just that you don’t seem like the kind of person to like horror movies,”

“Well I hate to break it to you but you really know nothing about me,” Their hand found the switch. As they flicked the light on they turned their head to catch Travis’s reaction. Ghost spoke again, “You know, first impressions can be misleading,”

“I know. I just. I usually think I’m a good judge of character,” He averted his eyes and began to look around. Travis went ahead and walked out of the stairwell to explore. When Ghost had clicked on the lights they went up one by one illuminating the massive hall. The view from the stairs allowed them to see above all the book shelves. This room was grand, elegant, beautiful. Neither of them had ever seen it before. And both were at a loss for words. 

Ghost’s platforms clicked on the wooden floor as they swept through the hallway. As they walked they came across the rooms center. An circular clearing in the middle of the room. A chandelier hung from the ceiling above. Colored wood forming an ornate star design on the ground. Among the wood laid a boy. Sprawled out on the floor fast asleep. Travis and Ghost looked to each other. Their distorted expressions filled with nerves. Ghost approached the boy and knelt down by his side. They gasped.

“Ghost? What is it? Is he okay?” Travis said. He too walked up to the boy and looked down at the floor. A loose razor blade laid at his side. There was blood. Not enough to suggest death, but enough to scare the both of them. Travis shook his arm and watched as his eyes opened. They were a pale blue, almost grey. They darted around. First looking at Ghost, but then to Travis. He sat up and pushed himself away from them.

Then he spoke, “Who are you?” 

Travis replied, “I’m Travis, this is Ghost,” He gestured towards them, “Who are you and are you okay?” The boy glanced at the blade. 

He rose to his feet and said, “I’m Leo, my mom owns the library. And I,” He pointed to the blood that stained the floor, “I was going to kill myself tonight,” Tears welled in his eyes and his chest collapsed with a long sigh. Leo could feel the eyes on him. He knew that they’d only ever seen him as broken or a lost cause. Travis and Ghost nodded at him, a sort of understanding. Again words failed them. Tension grew as the silence ensued, so Leo stuttered, “I uh- I don’t. I feel like I owe you guys an explanation,”

“You don’t owe us anything Leo, we’re the ones that shouldn’t be here,” Ghosts interjected. Their eyes darted around the room trying to avoid eye contact with him. Leo looked at the two of them nodded and started towards the stairs. Travis and Ghost looked to each other for validation, for answers. They didn’t quite know what to do. 

A voice breaks the gaze, “Are you guys coming or not?” Leo stood on the stairs overlooking the room. He gestured for them to follow. As they headed towards him Travis turned back. He stared at the pool of blood seeping into the floor boards and the accompanying razor. Like an island amongst a vermillion sea. Ghost grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him along.  

As they walked they spoke, “Hey, are you okay? I know this whole situation is crazy and okay is a strong word but… are you?” Their dark brows furrowed and their honey brown eyes narrowed. Travis returned their concern with a simple shrug and a nod of the head. A half smile settled on his lips. He intended to at least give the slightest sign that he could handle his emotions. 

When they all got back upstairs Leo turned his head and told them, “You guys wanna see something cool?” Without even a second for the others to respond he continued, “Too late. You don’t have a choice, come look,” The door to the librarians office was pushed open and Leo got the light. He pointed to a ladder in the corner, “Ta-da!” The words were laced with sleep deprivation, sarcasm, and semi-excitement. 

Leo clung to the first wrung of the ladder and began his ascent. The others followed reluctantly. As Ghost approached the top they looked directly up at the sky. The moon was full and the stars gleamed. There was no light pollution up here on the roof. They were wonderstruck. No clouds cramped up the sky, “Leo this is incredible. I wish I could stay up here forever in the cover of tonight,”

“Not all of us have had a particularly good day,” Leo chuckled. His humor was dark and twisted, but so was he, “I was supposed to die tonight,” 

The three of them laid down together basking in the moonlight. There was no need to fill the silence. Until Travis spoke, “The bruises on my neck. They’re from my father. He’s a drunk. Which basically makes him a nightmare.” Ghost and Leo turned their heads to look at him.

“My mother. She’s the reason I wanted to die. I not only wanted to end my life, but I wanted to hurt her. I wanted my dead body to be strung out on the floor of her library. I couldn’t stop imagining what her face would look like when she found me. I wondered if she would even care.” He had suffered everyday with her. The physical abuse had subsided when he began to grow bigger than her, but the emotional and verbal abuse held strong. 

“I got kicked out of my house. That’s why I fell asleep here tonight. Even though my mom knew about my gender identity, my father didn’t. He found out a few days ago and he told me to get the hell out of his house. And my mom just stood idly by and watched. She didn’t say a word,” Ghost sighed. The biggest heartbreak was the loss of her mother. A parent should love their child unconditionally. This love was broken and toxic.

After that none of them spoke a word. There was a general understanding between the three kids. All had released the demons that clung to their souls. Let them float away in the brisk air. Darkness still held them in his grasp, but now it was warm. His embrace was welcoming and comfortable. He absorbed their grief and left them with freedom. Balance.