Mira's Spirit

The Emerald Forest is anything but ordinary. Legends say there are a plethora of mysterious and whimsical creatures that roam this very ground, however, I haven’t seen anything yet. For me, this is a place where I feel most connected to my mother. It’s a place of peace and serenity which is something that I have not often felt after her passing.

When I was a little girl, my mother used to tell me all sorts of stories of her encountering The Emerald Forest. The things she used to see, the creatures she would talk to. I don’t know, it always sounded far-fetched but I can’t help feeling close to her in the very place she told me so much about. It took me a while to find it, but I had to come here and see this place for myself. If anything, to try and escape the grief that has weighed me down for so long.

It’s been about two hours since I’ve started roaming these woods. I had been tying little white ribbon around the branches of trees to track my way back. I’ll admit, The Emerald Forest is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. Far more beautiful than I expected. The ground is slightly wet enough that mud has begun to encase my worn out leather boots. Every step feels… feels like a step closer to home. Every way I turn my head, flowers of bright orange, pink, violet, and more encompass the ground I walk on. I turn to look in front of me to see trees with flowers growing from the top and waterfalling over its edges. My mother wasn’t lying about the beauty of this place. The further I walk, the more I swear the forest is actually singing to me. I edge myself just a little further when I spot many willow trees hiding something. So naturally, I decided to walk through them.

As I begin walking through the large willow trees, I can see something that appears to be glistening directly in front of me. I start towards the shining thing and then it hits me. This is The Living Lake my mother used to tell me about. A lake that is surrounded by a border of willow trees. According to her, the lake used to light up into this bioluminescent blue anytime she’d walk by at night. My eyes begin to sting as a single tear caresses my face. I haven’t felt this close to her since she passed. It feels like she is here with me, guiding me. All of a sudden, I feel this pull to double check that my white ribbons are still in place. I turn to go walk back through the willow trees and head to the last branch I tied a ribbon on. This uneasy feeling starts to crawl its way through me when it begins to feel like I’m walking further than I should be.

I cannot find any of my ribbons. Each twig I step on shoots another ping of anxiety through my bones. The sun is way past its peak. Goodness, it had to be close to supper time right about now. I tilt my head up to look through the peak of the trees just to see magenta and orange hues paint the sky. How long have I been here? It couldn’t have been more than three hours because I got here around noon. Yet, the sun is already setting. My heart is pounding to the point I wouldn’t be surprised if it exploded out of my chest. Someone or something has taken my ribbons. I’m being followed. I have to find my way home, but this tug to go back to the lake is so strong. A slight breeze kissed my check and I could have sworn it whispered to me, “Go back.” Go back where? To the lake or back home? I have no idea how to get back home. Of course I would get lost in the beloved forest of my mother. The air starts to thicken around me and it’s all I can do to make a break for it towards the Living Lake.

My chest feels so heavy, and my breathing is uneven. I try bringing my calloused right hand to my heart in an attempt to calm myself down. Something like fire is shooting through my legs. I’m not used to having to sprint like this. The only labor I have done since the death of my mother has been to hunt and provide for myself. I would’ve brought my arrow and quiver with me to this place, but after reminiscing on the stories my mother told me, it felt wrong to do so. I’m regretting that decision now. I have nothing to defend myself with.

The willow trees appear once again and peace begins to flow through me. As if the panic and anxiety was never there to begin with. A figment of my own imagination. Well, I guess I’m sleeping here tonight.

The lake is so beautiful and calm. Slight ripples of water make their way to the edges of the lake. These willow trees too, there is something so… magical about them. Protective in a way. A feeling of security and safety flows through me even with the knowledge that I’m most definitely lost in this forest and someone took away my direction back home. Inside of these willow trees, by this lake, I feel at home. At peace.

After standing still for a solid five minutes catching my breath, I tilt my head down and look to my right to see a flat slab of stone. Good, a place to lay for the night, I think to myself. As I’m looking down, my attention drifts to the little white flowers that cover the ground and can’t help the tiniest ache in my chest and the tears that begin to fall down my face. How many times had my mother brought me those flowers as a little girl? We don’t live close enough to the Emerald Forest for her to have come here so often, but she brought me those exact flowers almost every week. I remember looking all over our yard to find those flowers to give back to my mom, but I never could find them. An uncontrollable sob begins to break through my throat and forces me to take a seat down on the slab of stone.

I pull my knees towards my chest and rest my head. My arms embracing my legs as I let out a loose sob. It’s been so long since I’ve cried. I’ve been bottling up all my emotions because I couldn’t fathom the idea of breaking down in front of anyone else. Not when it felt so weak. But this, this feels needed. Like a well of tears are finally making their way to the surface. This is healing.

“I miss you, mom,” I whisper to myself, hoping that somehow she might hear it. It’s at that moment I could have sworn I felt a warm embrace. There was nothing there, but I couldn’t help but also feel that warm embrace whisper back to me, “I miss you too, Lillian.” Maybe it was my own imagination, but it felt so real.

My tears begin to slow down as I begin to hear the forest stirring. I decide to finally look up and notice that nighttime has fallen and the Living Lake has indeed come alive. Hues of sapphire and emerald have overtaken the entirety of the water. The brightness of it lighting up the surrounding willow trees and the little white flowers encompassing the ground. I’ve never seen something so breathtaking. I tilt my head up to notice how bright the stars appear to be in the sky. How the stars seem to speak to me. My gaze transfixes itself back onto the lake as I see creatures swarming within it. The hues appear like particles of sand when they swim through the lake. Swimming through the lake towards me. I should be afraid, but I’m not. In fact, awe and wonder are the only things encircling me at this very moment. Fishes of all sizes, pods of jellyfish, stingrays, and seahorses make their way towards me. These creatures shouldn’t be able to live in an environment like this, yet, they’re here. Staring right at me. They all pause just a few feet away from me in the water as I hear a rustling in the willows to my left.

My head turns toward the noise and I strain my eyes to see what is making the sound through the trees. At first, I thought maybe it was whatever was following me, but to my surprise I saw a doe walk through the willow. No, not just a doe, a herd of deer appeared. To my right, a singular white lamb walked through the clearing. All looking at me. For a split moment, I’m wondering if I did something to disturb them, but my heart felt eased at their presence. Another breeze caresses my face, when I notice what seems to be a barn owl flying by to perch itself on a nearby log. Then, fireflies were lighting up everywhere. It’s so beautiful.

I look to the right to see the lamb walking towards me until it is right next to where I am seated. The pure thing looking up at me. It began to open up its mouth and to my surprise began to speak.

“We miss Mira too, child,” the lamb said solemnly. Mira, my mother. They knew her?

“You knew my mother?” My voice cracking underneath the question. Tears began welling up once again. If they ever actually stopped, I’m not sure they did.

To my left, one of the doe replied, “Oh yes. We all knew her. And we all know you, Lillian. She told us all about you every time she came to visit.”

“Your mother was the embodiment of kindness and peace. The first time we encountered her, she was just about your age. She loved to explore these woods. There was something about her that drew all of us to her. She even came here when she was pregnant with you.” The lamb began walking to the other side of me and laid on top of its legs. “Mira may not still be here, but the memory of her lives on through this forest. Her spirit lives on here. Her spirit lives on in you, Lillian.”

This place. It was all true. Every word my mother had told me about this place was true. I have never felt closer to her. It was here, in this moment, that my very soul began to mend.

“Thank you.” That's all I can really say. “I have to find my way back home, something was following me and took all of my ribbons that I was using to track my path.”

“Please forgive Oliver.” The barn owl swoops down to where I’m seated and I notice a bunch of white ribbons interwoven into his claws. “He thought it would be best to not have ribbons signaling where you were to keep you safe from anything else this forest has to offer. We know the way back and will guide you tomorrow when it’s light again.”

Oliver unhooks his claws from my ribbons and flies back to the log he was previously perched on. A giggle slips through my throat and my mouth curves upward as I pick up the stained ribbons.

“I guess staying wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Do you have any stories you could tell me about my mother?” I’m sure the animals are just as tired as I am, but anything to make me feel closer to her.

“Oh child, we have plenty. Who wants to start?” The lamb began looking around and then the stories unfolded. The life of Mira truly does live on in this place. As more stories are told, I tilt my head up to look at the stars and smile. A genuine smile for the first time in a long, long while.