Caught Blue in White

"It takes the whole world to understand ourselves" I faced the crowd, holding my microphone up tight. The air outside tightened my skin, I shivered under my po but the heaters inside, started to warm up a little since I came in and were making me wrongly comfortable, and I was secretly proud of that. I mean, I rather not appear at the memorial than having my hands swaying rapidly, a sweaty forehead and some eyes wondering if this is all a play.

It's a memorial for God's sake! I can feel or express any emotion I want to, not that I would be suspected but forgiven, if I ever had to through a table at someone's face. I must feel free, more free than ever to share this speech like every other member of the family of Cisae's would be. There is nothing to hide, and this lie must be kept like a truth in my mind, for now.

"And here we are, mourning my wife because of that" I said, glancing at the wall behind the hundreds of people, "Unacceptance, jealousy, envy and betrayal brought us here in this hall room" I finally take a look at everybody, "Some of us are sitting on a chair, some are standing, some are filming…" I took a look at my right, Prince, my twin brother, was crying. He faced the ground, grasping his dark and curly head in his hands making him a prisoner of himself. "And some of us are tired, including me, of this cruel world we live in." I took a pause and murmured to the mic, "Sometimes I wish I were out of here. But now is not the time…" I said, regaining myself, "Because all of you are going to listen to what I have to say tonight."

The speech has gone well, it went with ease, I looked credible at least and it all ended in cries and applause. Nobody would have suspected a thing, though the devil tried me. He gave me the benefit of doubt for a while, I was guilty, but proud. I did well.

"You did well up there, brother" It was Prince, next to him was Tera his mother-in-law and his wife, Reena. I was just getting out of the bathroom. As soon as Tera saw me, she fell into me and swallowed me in a hug. "Oh my dear…" She tightened the hug once more before releasing me. She sighs and analysis my whole self as if she was looking for her glasses like she used to. I could clearly see that she cried too, her mascara and her bloodshot eyes can tell. "We missed you, Helios" Reena gave me a sweet smile despite her obvious need to let the tears speak. "We thought you would be in India, for you to come back all the way back to LA…" she couldn't finish her sentence and teared up in Prince's arms. "We're glad you're here, really" My brother sounded numb, weirdly numb. He must probably be tired of all the crying. As it is for me too, I'm tired.

"Will you still present her sculpture? "My brother asked, sounding so curious, almost like a child was asking me, "I mean… I wonder if you're still going back to visit

-I can't promise you that, man, I've told you already." Cameras and the journalist crew gatherd near us, the LimeDays, TunedUps, and even Presentimes. Most of the reporters and photographers started to cluster before us and moved in our direction. Incomingly, my bodyguards came out from the corners of the wall "Change of plans Helios" said one of them, the both of them seemed so stressed, "We're moving this night

-What? How?

-It's Kaleb, he called. We ought to leave this place. Now."

I looked into his eyes, full of questions. It's not that I don't want to leave, seriously, there are literal parasites armed with cameras flashing my view and plenty of microphones ready to oppress me. I just don't understand why in such a rush. What does Kaleb mean by that? I hope nothing happened to the painting back in India. I'll never know until I get the hell out of this place. I took a heavy breath before answering my bodyguards. "Alright, let's get out of here."

We left the crowd of recorders, where the exit was. We were already outside, even though they followed us back to back. My limousine and driver were waiting for me. Me and my crew went down the stairs, I feel bad for leaving my brother hanging. But I somehow had to. I wish we'll have a quality time some other day, but now is not the time. One of the journalist came running with his recorder, coming towards me like we knew each other for years and they don't want me to leave yet. The journalist was short, she was attractive, rather the typical kind of person a news crew would choose. I've seen her on TV plenty of times, when they announced my wife's death, famous breakings, anything that passes through the news, especially when it blows the public's mind: she appears. The recorder was comparable: tall and well covered, his brown skin was glowing from behind with the lights of the entrance of the building. His huge hands are carrying the camera. The funny thing is that both of them smelled nice, their perfume did not appeal to me to stay longer but to leave. I had better things to do than to waste my words with a mic in my mouth and a camera in my face.

"Sorry" I apologised to them, knowing damn well that I'm not sorry "I'd love to answer all your curious questions, but myself can't even figure out what to say. Maybe next time.

-Please, sir, could you just answer one question of…

-I said next time," I try to close the door of the limousine, but firmly enough, the shorty managed to not allow me.

"One question and my crew will finally vacate" Her voice sounded firm yet a bit of desperation couldn't be hidden, her facial expression was as strong as statue. Col, one of my bodyguards, sat at the front of the car, he turned to look at me through his sunglasses.

"Answer them a question," he advised me, "Just this time, then we leave. I turned back to them, a question won't kill me, right?

"Ask me anything, and be quick about it" The lady smiled and called back her recorder that had already given up. She put the mic closer to her mouth and asked me the question I wished to avoid,

"After the murder of your wife, Miss Cisae, and that you found out that she cheated on you with Kaleb Drake, how would you describe the state of your emotions?" Seriously, I don't know what the answer is, because right now, I'm in the furious, stressed, mournful, and releaved state at the same time. I had to think smartly about what to say, and when I knew exactly what to say, I had to get out of the car.

"Well to answer this let everybody here too" I exit the car stood next to the fountain. Everybody who was present at the memorial was all present looking at me. I don't know what gave me the nerves to do that but I did, I stood on top of the piles containing the fountain and took the mic from the shorty-journalist. And I spoke.

"Uhm… yeah, it's me again" The remaining people that were not looking at me, turned their gaze to my side. I had the full attention of the people here, excellent.

"The TunedUps crew ask me a question not long ago, about how I feel right now" the cold made my skin to tremble and gave me goosebumps. Maybe it was my unexpected move that gave me goosebumps. "And I look forward to answer them" I thought for a bit, should tell them? Should I play along? I took a deep breath and then another one. Then, I stared at the crowd and told the biggest lie of my life: "I love her, and her death was the last thing I would have wished for on Earth."