Like a rainy day

Jane wakes up in a good mood, her lips curled into a delicate smile. She moves the covers with one hand, stretches like a cat and finally gets up to go to open the curtains.

It's still raining outside, and this makes her smile widen.

Rainy days have always been his favorites. He still remembers when he spent hours in the back garden, with yellow boots, a jacket and an umbrella. He first jumped into a puddle, laughed happily and then looked for another. When her mother called her home, Jane was soaked but happy.

She often got sick when she was a child. But she didn't care: she considered rain her best friend.

Jane goes down to the kitchen and fills the kettle to make herself some hot tea. She likes those with berries, but occasionally she drinks one with a slice of lemon - because according to her, it has no taste without it.

When the kettle starts to whistle, Jane hurries to turn off the stove. She opens one of the cupboards and grabs the mug that says "I just really like tea" - the best gift her best friend has ever gave to her. To complete her usual breakfast, Jane opens the pantry: today she wants toast and jam.

She brings everything to the table and decides to sit in the place overlooking the window. As she silently sips tea and eats her toast, she watches the rain.

She wonders if where Will live, and that means on the other side of the ocean, is raining. He prefers sunny days, he becomes sad when the sky is covered with gray clouds. He says that the rain doesn't allow him to be outdoors, it forces him into the house. If he's in his study and it's raining outside, Will complains and claims that his creativity drowned in the first drops that fell from the sky - Jane finds it exaggerated, but she never told him.

"I need light, and warmness. I don't like to photograph melancholy and gray subjects," he once said in one of their conversations on Skype.

Then he stopped. Jane, who was listening carefully, had noticed that Will was looking at her with a different look than he usually had. When she pointed it out, Will shook his head and laughed.

Jane remembers that moment and moves her gaze to the sofa. The computer is still there, on standby. Will's face forms in her mind, and slowly the rest of his body. Jane bites her lip and blushes; she closes her eyes, smiles.

The previous evening's conversation was a surprise. Something unexpected that still makes her feel light as a feather.

"I never would have said that," it seems that Will is there with her at that moment, sitting in the chair next to hers.

Jane doesn't want to open her eyes, or at least not yet. She is afraid that if she does, Will will disappear into thin air and his voice with him.

Will was in bed when he said those words. He had just woken up and his hair was messy. He struggled to keep his eyes open, yawned constantly, but still smiled.

Jane had had a strong temptation to make fun of him: she could have told him that he looked funny, or something. Instead she asked him what he meant by that phrase.

They had just met when Will, out of the blue, had told her not to delude herself. Jane hadn't understood right away, so Will had explained to her that there would be a simple friendship between them and nothing more. Jane laughed and replied to his message with: "Now I'm sad!".

Will had told her there was nothing funny. The last girl he met through that application to find pen pals swore she was madly in love with him.

"She was ready to put her apartment up for sale, pack her bags to join me here in Virginia and, to make things worse, she even showed me the list of names of the children we would have had together!"

Jane had by then fallen to the ground. Her hands were on her stomach, she was laughing out loud.

Yet, at some point, things had changed.

Jane's heart was almost out of her chest on the first video call with Will. They had been organizing it for over a week, to find the perfect time for both of them. When Will's face had appeared on the computer screen, Jane had lost her breath.

Maybe it all started that day. That video call, which had barely lasted ten minutes, had started something that had been impossible for her to stop.

And how did I, she asks herself now, not realize anything?

Jane still has her eyes closed. She is patiently waiting for Will to start talking again. Jane looks him in the eye and sees a different light: it is a mixture of anxiety and fear. She realizes that Will doesn't know if he wants to continue the sentence or not. Maybe he would like to step back, withdraw what he said.

Will has never been a romantic guy. Unlike Jane, he almost never believed in love.

There had been a girl in college, Will had told her, but unfortunately it had ended. Jane hadn't wanted to ask him any questions on the subject: she told herself that he would open up - Jane didn't want to rush him.

"I really thought I loved her," he had confessed to her at another time. It was perhaps two in the morning for Jane, but she was not sleepy and listened in silence. "Then came the invitation to my brother's wedding. I called him the same day, to congratulate him and tell him that I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world."

Will had paused. A melancholy laugh came from his lips and he shook his head. Jane smiled at him: it was one of those smiles that are made when you don't know what to say, but you feel the same emotions that the other person feels.

"I asked him how he felt when he was with his girlfriend," Will continued. "And from there I realized that I knew nothing about love."

Jane still remembers what happened next.

She had just said goodbye to Will when, turning off the lamp on the bedside table and slipping under the covers, she started to cry.

After his brother's wedding, Will had broken up with the college girl. After her, there had been a coming and going of girls who had never left their mark on him. Will had confessed to Jane that he no longer hoped to find the perfect person for him.

Jane had been crying for the rest of the night. She had gone to work with red and swollen eyes, mentally and physically tired. Her boss had asked her what had happened and if she preferred to take the day off, but Jane had preferred to stay in the office anyway.

That's when I really realized my feelings, she realizes. They moved in silence, like a shadow.

"I never would have said that," Will's voice repeats.

"What do you mean?" she asks, and this time she speaks aloud - but still her eyes are closed.

She smiles, because she already knows what Will is going to tell her. Jane hears the rain and feels happier than ever. It is still light as a cloud.

"You showed me things from a different perspective, Jane" her name, on Will's mouth, makes her breathless. "And I'd like to visit you"

Jane opens her mouth to reply, but he doesn't allow her to talk - not yet. She watches him while he bits his lip, while he runs a hand through his hair and then while he laughs heartily.

Then, in a whisper, "Did I ever tell you that you are beautiful?"

Now Jane can't breathe for real.

"Beautiful as a rainy day," Will seems unable to hold back, and Jane certainly doesn't want to stop him. "If you allow me, I would like to kiss you and breathe that scent of rain that you like so much. If you allow me, I would like to tell you that I love you and that, this time, I am the one who would like to be able to sell everything and run to you. "

Jane doesn't know whether to laugh or cry, she thinks she has forgotten how to speak.

"Tell me," she says, holding back the tears of joy. "Do you have list of baby names?"

Then Jane finally opens her eyes. She is no longer afraid that Will will slip out of her hands like water. Jane looks out the kitchen window: it is still raining and puddles have formed in her garden.

Jane is so happy that she decides to run and change and when she goes back downstairs she puts on a pair of yellow boots. She opens the door to the garden, covers her head with the hood of her jacket and runs outside to have fun. And while jumping into one of the puddles, she imagines Will at her side.

"One more week and Will will be here!" Jane exclaims with joy, and throws herself towards another puddle.