A Visit from the Past

It was 3:00 PM on a beautiful summer afternoon in July.  Chris Lewis and his best friend, Michael Bland, were walking to a nearby ice cream parlor together to celebrate Chris’ new job as an assistant manager at a marketing firm.  This was his dream job, and when he found out that he had been selected for the position, he called Michael right away and decided that they would celebrate with ice cream, one of their favorite treats to indulge in.

They arrived at the parlor and walked inside, with Chris trailing slightly behind him.  The lobby area was brightly lit, which made the relatively small building feel cozy inside.  The freezer on the left side of the store was filled with ice cream cakes, ice cream sandwiches, and cupcakes, also made with ice cream inside.  The smell of freshly-made waffle cones wafted from the back of the store to the front where Chris and Michael stood.  There were three people ahead of them in line, with several families talking and laughing with each other in the dining area of the lobby.

Shortly after Chris got in line behind Michael, he looked up at the person who was helping to move along the line, and to his surprise, it turned out to be Nicole Taylor, with whom he had gone to high school over eight years ago.  Instantly, Chris started having flashbacks of her, the girl who still held a very special place in his heart to this day, and wondered if she still remembered him after all this time, even after how he had treated her in the past.

The first time that Chris had noticed Nicole was when he was a junior in high school and she was a sophomore.  She was petite with medium-length, light brown hair and light brown eyes to match.  She also didn’t appear to be superficial like all of the other females that he interacted with on a regular basis, those who thought that he was attractive and hung out with him for the sole purpose of boosting their own popularity status.  Ultimately, none of them truly cared about wanting to get to know him on a deeper level.

On the other hand, there was something special and mysterious about Nicole that Chris couldn’t quite put his finger on.  She seemed to be very sweet and friendly, as well as easy on the eyes, which was always a plus for him.  Chris wanted to get to know her better, but he didn’t really know how to approach her because he assumed that she would likely never go for him despite having a significant number of females to choose from who would have jumped at the opportunity to go out on even one date with him, let alone try to be his girlfriend.

Chris wanted a real relationship with someone special and thought that Nicole could potentially be that person for him, if he could only work up the nerve to talk to her or even say hello to begin with.  Whenever she was walking in the hallways alone or with a group of her friends, he would sneak glances in her direction, wishing that he had the courage to initiate a conversation with her.  As confident as Chris usually felt around other females, he was always the complete opposite with Nicole.  He didn’t think that he would catch feelings for someone the way that he did for her, and although he wanted to explore those feelings and see where they might lead him to, he was always too scared to really give things a chance.  Plus, he enjoyed the constant female attention that he received, which led to his “ladies man” reputation.  He didn’t want to fully give all of that up and focus instead on only one girl.  However, the following school year would have a completely different outcome for him.

At the beginning of Chris’ senior year, he had begun talking to Lisa Matthews, also a senior, in order to try to get his mind off of Nicole, even though Nicole still occupied space in the back of his mind.  Lisa became a really good friend of his during the summer when they were both camp counselors.  Even when they weren’t working together, they still made time to hang out every day and realized that they had a lot in common with each other.  

Lisa was a good distraction from Chris thinking about Nicole periodically, and she was also very attractive (tall and slender, with blonde hair and blue eyes), but he was leery about the possibility of them dating.  He could sense that she was starting to like him as more than a friend, but he still wanted to try to get to know Nicole regardless.  If anything, the feelings that Chris had started to develop for Nicole last year had gotten even stronger over the past few months.  He wondered if the dynamic between them would change, even with Lisa by his side.

As the school year went on, however, Chris noticed that Nicole was slowly beginning to acknowledge him on a regular basis on her own.  She would either say hello to him in between classes, or they would have brief conversations with each other, usually before and after school for a few minutes, before parting ways.  Chris always had those initial butterflies in his stomach, but they would disappear soon after speaking to her, which he found relatively easy.  

He wondered what had made her decide to start talking to him all of a sudden.  Did Nicole like him back, or was she just being cordial with him since they had the same group of friends?  Either way, Chris was happy to finally start slowly getting to know about her.  Although he enjoyed being around Lisa, she didn’t make him feel the way he did with Nicole, who truly had his heart.  He contemplated whether to tell Nicole how he felt or to keep his feelings to himself and risk having all of the “what ifs” loom over his head.

Before winter break started, Chris was walking to his car one day after school.  Halfway there, he felt a tap on his shoulder, and when he turned around, it ended up being Nicole.  And then suddenly, the three words he had never thought he would hear from her mouth came out in a rush:  I like you.  She was looking down the entire time, unable to look him in his face, which was filled with shock.  Nicole sounded sincere, but was she really?

Until recently, Chris’ feelings for Nicole had changed significantly prior to her confession.  Several of his friends (not including Michael since he had attended a different high school at the time) had managed to convince him over time that she was self-centered, shallow, and the type of person who took advantage of others for her own benefit.  Chris listened to them because they had been his friends for years, while he had not fully considered Nicole to be a friend to him yet.  He trusted his friends completely and felt like they would never steer him wrong.  

In the meantime, Chris felt stupid for devoting so much of his time and thoughts to Nicole because he had started believing that she was different from other females who still tried to talk to him whenever they could; not as often as last year, but still regularly.  He thought that he could eventually trust her, but that was no longer an option for him.

So as Chris stood opposite Nicole, still in complete shock and at a loss for words, he waited until she finally looked up at him, waiting for an answer.  It felt like an eternity before he finally told her that he had a girlfriend, which was actually true.  She apologized to him with a look of embarrassment that was barely hidden behind a smile before she quickly walked away in the opposite direction.

After what his friends had told him, Chris had decided to shift all of his focus and attention on Lisa as a result, and throughout the rest of his senior year, he would purposely avoid and ignore Nicole whenever he saw her.  He even went as far as to talk about her behind her back to his friends, the same ones who were adamant about how he should stay as far away from her as possible.  Chris wanted her to feel the same pain and embarrassment that he had experienced, while not really caring about how his actions might affect her in the end.

And yet, despite how Chris had treated Nicole afterwards along with his steady relationship with Lisa (which had subsequently caused the entourage of females to die down upon realizing that he was taken, to their utter disappointment), Nicole still crossed his mind every now and then, but not as often since he had Lisa to focus on.  Their relationship had only lasted for the remainder of that year, with the both of them ultimately deciding that they were better off as friends, but they had continued to stay in touch with each other, even after graduation.

When Chris and Michael finally got to the front of the line, Chris pretended to be texting on his phone, giving himself a reason to look anywhere else but at Nicole.  He heard her greet both him and Michael.  Michael said hello back, but Chris continued to look down without saying anything, using his phone as a distraction.

About three years after Chris had graduated from high school, he randomly found out from Luke Reese, one of his now former friends who had told him to stay away from Nicole, that everything about her being self-centered, shallow, and a person who uses others was completely false.  That was a rumor which had been spread by him, along with several other friends of Luke’s, because for whatever reason, they didn’t like her at all, and they apparently hadn’t wanted Chris to even consider going out with Nicole because at the time, they would have dropped him as a friend and done everything in their power to damage his reputation.  So in order for Chris to keep his popularity intact, he had gone out of his way like a fool to intentionally hurt the one person that he still cared about to this day.

If Chris had not mistakenly chosen to listen to those so-called friends, who he was no longer in contact with, anyway, and had listened to his heart instead, Nicole would have likely been his girlfriend and not Lisa (who he doesn’t speak to anymore, either).  But now, as Chris stood opposite Nicole in this ice cream parlor, which now made him feel somewhat claustrophobic and didn’t give him that cozy feeling he initially had upon walking inside, he was unable to look her in the face in fear of her putting two and two together, if she had not already. 

Michael ordered his ice cream and walked over to the cash register afterwards where Nicole also headed to ring up his order.  When she wasn’t in Chris’ line of vision, he chose that moment to get a good look at her.  She was even more beautiful now than how she had looked before, even with her work uniform on.  The only difference in her appearance was that her hair was a little shorter than before and was a darker shade of brown instead of the lighter color that he remembered.  Chris knew that he would have to eventually acknowledge Nicole, at least as far as ordering his ice cream, but he still didn’t know how to apologize for the way he had treated her, or if she would care to hear him out; that is, if she even remembered him at all.

Soon after Nicole was finished with Michael’s order, Chris heard her footsteps getting closer to where he was standing.  He had gone back to pretending to be on his phone, as if his “conversation” was the most important issue at hand right now.  Once the sound of footsteps had ceased, he looked up at her again and met her gaze.  Those light brown eyes of hers.  After she greeted him once more, she asked him about his order and proceeded to make it after he told her.

There was a long and awkward silence between them at first, with Chris looking around the room, not really knowing how to initiate this much-needed conversation.  After about a minute or so, however, the words “I’m sorry” finally came out in a rush, with the rest of his apology following at a slower pace.  He told Nicole how much he had really liked her in the past despite being with Lisa and that the reason for his behavior had everything to do with what his friends had said to him and how they had influenced his actions in order to keep him away from her, and that he was crazy to have listened to them over following his heart.  The entire time that Chris spoke, he was surprisingly able to look deep into her eyes so she could see that he was sincere. 

Chris watched Nicole’s face as she stared back at him with wide eyes, speechless.  She looked very surprised at his revelation, and he even noticed a hint of sadness in her eyes, which meant that she definitely remembered him and was probably thinking about what they could have been; friends, maybe more, had his actions been different.  Chris hated even more how he had chosen to let other people dictate who he should be around just because they had their own personal issues.  There were moments where he saw the confusion and hurt on her face when he had stopped talking to her and stayed away on purpose, and even then, he had not cared about her feelings.  But he was remorseful now.  He asked Nicole if she could ever forgive him, and if there was a chance that they could start over again as friends. 

Chris listened to Nicole tell him her side of the story:  how much she had truly liked him back, and how, even after over eight years, he still held a special place in her heart despite his past actions and how they had made her feel.  She also said that she appreciated his apology and had already forgiven him for the sake of her having peace of mind and the ability to move forward with her life, though it had taken some time for her to do so.  And as far as the two of them becoming friends, Nicole gave a small smile and told him that it was a strong possibility and that she would be willing to see where things could go, but she wanted to take it very slow with him because she still had her guard up, not wanting to get hurt again. 

In the end, Chris was extremely grateful because Nicole had decided to give him a second chance so that he could now show her, not just tell her, how sincere he was.  As happiness and relief washed over him, he found it easier and more comfortable to be around Nicole in general, especially since she had made it clear that she had no animosity towards him.  It was a pleasant reminder of how simple things had been in the past before everything had transpired.  The awkwardness was also no longer an issue now that they were both more at ease.

After Nicole made and rang up Chris’ ice cream, they exchanged phone numbers and promised to stay in touch.  He said goodbye to her and left the parlor with Michael, grinning from ear to ear.  As Chris walked outside, the bright afternoon sun hitting his face, he thought about how happy he was for Nicole allowing him to be in her life again, and he made a promise to himself that he would never make the same mistake again.  Chris figured that today prior to getting ice cream was already pretty decent from him getting his dream job, but speaking to Nicole and allowing for them to move forward as potential friends was the true highlight of his day.