Weather Report

So, here we are again...

You are probably a little shocked right now. And you are probably wondering why anyone in my situation would be smiling right now. I cannot help myself. It is good to see you again. You are the one that I really did want to see. I know that sounds strange - pretty odd hearing myself say it now - but it is true. And it is a nice day for it, too. They said it would be sunny and maybe partly cloudy, but I do not see a cloud in the sky worth bothering myself over right now. Do you? As you can probably imagine, I pay a lot more attention to the weather now.

No, don't do that. Don't run. We are in a very public place and I really have no plans to hurt you. But I am carrying this. See? I don't think I would feel too bad about using it. And yes, it is the same one you gave me... Okay, not 'gave', but you did let me see it before...well, you know. Please. Sit. You can see kids are running around and their parents are not too far away. Might just be you they worry about the most if you start running away!

Okay, that was probably taking it too far. Just wanted to make sure that you gave me a chance to explain things before you tried something stupid; something really stupid. Look on your face makes me think it is still possible... Anyway, let's go back a bit...

There was you, Curtis, Rob, and that damn Devlin. Should just call him 'Devil' for the moment. And me. You had invited us to go camping with you over a long weekend and you made it seem so perfect with the cabin and the weather we knew was supposed to be wonderful. I did not check that time. I just knew that it could be one thing or something that I did not... Sorry, I am getting off track with all this.

I guess that I knew you for about three years by that point. Same school, same classes; I think that the real reason I said 'Yes' to the trip was that we were all about to graduate from the same program. But it was you that I knew and trusted, not the others. I did not really know them. Curtis and Rob I only got to know a week before we all left (different classes; same school?). Not their fault things went the way it did. Not yours, either. Definitely not. But that Devlin. Such a perfect name for him...

It really is a beautiful day. So much sunlight in the summer you forget about the autumn and winter you know has to come. Wish I could forget them, too. But here I am!

Sorry. Little loud with that. Been a while since I have had such a personal conversation with someone so close. Even the school has not had a chance to find out about what I am up to...or even if I exist. But they will. Everything in its time, right?

Well, that was a beautiful cabin. You did not lie about that. What you did not know was that it was also the worst time of the year for us to go camping, even with four walls and a roof. It was November. The school gave us a long weekend and we all wondered what to do with it. No one wanted to get started on studying for finals. No one I knew had a cabin. So, you had a plan. We could pack enough food, gear for the cold (not snow!), and whatever else you could bring for the trip. So, I was in. We all put in what we could, paid in for gas money, and left.

I always wondered about skis and snowshoes. For the last six months, I have been wondering about why there were none that we could use at the cabin. You told us that your family would bring them with them, but not leave anything behind that could be stolen. I understood that. But there was this... Sorry, I'll put it away.

We got there late in the morning and unpacked. You showed us the set up (cots and a fireplace if the heating shut down) and then you suggested we rest and go out the next day. Seemed like a good idea. We did not really bother asking about wi-fi or even if you had a radio up there. Very naive of us. Very stupid, too. But we were up in the middle of nowhere and it was such a beautiful day for that time of year. And after a night of sleeping up in the mountains, we thought we could do anything we wanted.

And then, it began to snow.

What I mean is that...it hit us like a great white hammer just as we were walking out on our first hike through the woods. We were heading down hill when the sky just opened up and blinded us. Yes, you remember that, don't you? We could not see in front us beyond a few steps. Nothing to see except the snow that would not let up. And it wasn't the snow that we should have worried about when we got hit. No, that was not what we had to worry about...

I did hear you, y'know? That's why I am seeing you first. I heard your yells for me. I knew that you were worried. And then I heard Devlin. Little bastard. Did he really convince you all to just turn around and head back without even trying? You tried, yes, but Curtis and Rob were just...

You might still be wondering about what really happened to me. Well, all I did was slip and fall down a very slippery wall of rock. That's it. Remember I was at the front of the line and you told me that you wanted to lead us, but I just would not listen and wanted to take it all in? Why did I do that? I was cocky, I guess. It was so beautiful up there...until it wasn't. So beautiful.

I heard you the next day, too. You went out with Devlin - where were Curtis and Rob - and looked for me. Devlin was begging you to give it up and just leave, but you would not do that. 'Not until I see a body is he dead,' you said. Very true. And for some reason, when I heard you say that, I knew what had to be done. What still has to be done.

You can survive in the snow better than in the cold. I learned that as a kid. Temperature changes and body heat go a long way when you are wondering what to do next in the middle of a forest. I almost yelled out and gave away my spot, but I stopped. Devlin stopped me.

'He's gone. Forget him.'

That really is coldblooded. You were never that cold. You could not be. But you really did not do much when you left, did you? I read about what the press said about me: 'Boy abandons studies and goes missing'. I even read what Devlin said to some reporter who should have smelled the BS a mile away: 'I never thought he would go like this'. Really, how could he not tell he was having his chain yanked by that prick?

So, I waited, I planned, and I found this. You did show it to us in the cabin. I expected another rifle but this was just dandy. Nice and snug under my clothes, even in this heat. I really did not want to involve you in all this, but you are involved. You should know that what happens next is not your fault. You at least tried to help. Curtis and Rob? Well, I'll think about them. Devlin is the one I want. Did you know that the school hired him for post-graduate teaching? Unbelievable.

Now, I won't be calling on you after this... I know that you still live in town, but I cannot see a point where I will be in your orbit again. Orbit? Did I say that? Strange. All this talk about weather and how we cannot control what is to come has me using language I never thought I would use. And it is getting too late in the day.

Enjoy the weather. It does not last.