Written By Jerrit Montgomery
my mind is racing pass thoughts of old friends in school neighborhood the old life im living behind as my dad drive on a long journey from one state to another state to live our new life in Louisiana not long after passing the welcome to Baton Rouge Louisiana we pulled up in front of a large white house my mom and dad gave me the door key while they stay back to loosing up the luggage as i walked into our new yard i notice the big old house next door with the strange looking little boy walking towards the backyard like he's the only person on earth i continue walking through the gate i saw i don't know but whatever it was it was big.as time pass and used enough time staying to myself i want to meet my neighbors so i walked next-door the kids i thought was strange wasn't strange after all just had no friends looked about 13years of age Mexican or Indian and always wearing dirty clothes i whats your name?he respond with a finger pointing at his feet i asked? shoe. he shook his head yea. i ask your real name? he shook his head.No.he wispers Alexander.i said hey Alexander can i be your friend he smiles.with a nod of his head yes.i ask him if you don't mind me asking why do the call you shoe?he invited me inside walking down a long hall to the last door we walked into the room he stopped with his finger on his lip wisper quit then spoke words i didn't understand what i thought was a puppy he grabbed me as i begin to run when i noticed it was a shoe looking puppy but i quickly realized it wasn't dangerous i asked Alexander what is that in the backyard? he smiles and said that's Leroy my rhinoceros
in a state of shock looking around the room then i looked at Alexander with so much confusion and fear in my eyes wondering who are what is Alexander until i asked but i didn't know what to think anymore.walking across the room upon a black and gold book with a picture of all types of unusual animals colored in yellow heared Alexander speak standing right behind me and again fear swung through me because i didn't hear foot steps its like he's appeared out of nowhere i started shaking vehemently. who are you?and all he was you shouldn't fear if you really want to be my friend just because im unusual you fear what you don't understand well.i am Alexander born of a old unknown ancient Egypt bloodline blessed with a power.now you know do you still fear.i begin to calm down a little bit.as i asked did you ever show any of this to someone besides me.if not why me?no i have not because i know they would not want to be my friend.jerry i been waiting on you your blood smells pure which let me know you are opened minded enough to take time to understand.so can we keep it secret? i only want friend i calm completely down seeing that he is harmless.and with a smile said yea we are friends as he walked me to the backyard to see Leroy i was so amazed never being this close to a rhinoceros he with his old man face smiling said go on touch im shaking my head no before he could finish his sentence but he talked me into touching Leroy tough skin as me and my new friend Alexander laugh and enjoyed the moment as i think to myself Alexander seems pretty cool Alexander sit on the steps we sit and talk then i think to myself its getting late and his parents pops in my head cause me to ask Alexander were are your parents?who lives here with you?Alexander put his head down and said i live here alone my parents died along time ago back home we were attacked by the shadow keepers. I asked who is the shadow keepers?he continued. the shadow keepers is the god of black magic village were i once lived my parents on Tuesday night left the village to go over by a friend for a time of enjoyment with intoxication on the way back must have been really intoxicated time must have slipped their mind and walked through the gate at 12:01 forgetting every Tuesday night 12:01 is the night of the gods every one who lives in the village must return to the village 15 minutes before 12:01 because that's the time the village worship the gods then the gods have a meeting as my parents was walking up to the gate no one was in sight i looked out the window to see my parents walk through the gate and dropped to their death i and my little sister ran out to our parents dead i could not cry all i felt was revenge holding my dead mother in my arms watching my baby sister crying her heart out that's when the shadow keepers appeared for my parents shadow and my baby sister out anger attacked but was not killed we both was cursed not to ever return back to the village so here i am new friend.i asked but wheres your baby sister? Alexander stood up and said follow me as he stepped inside walking the long hall.singing in that unknown chant and with speed come running the shoe looking dog im looking shaking my head thinking that's a strange unusual looking pet until Alexander said Jerry meet cherry meet Jerry.my face hold a weird smile looking at the unusual creature my eyes cought Alexander again asking where's your sister turning my weird smile into a blank face after hearing your looking at her cherry is my sister im lost for words standing in a daze as Alexander continue when attacked she double cursed this and forbidden to enter the village i respond with nothing and i finally said im sorry to hear that i would never have thought something like this was going on here on this planet Alexander whatever it is anything you need just ask i will do my best to help glancing at my watch its getting late buddy i need to be getting home my parents might begin to worry see you in the morning shaking Alexander hand give cherry a head nod and start heading towards the door mind blown from all i have heard it's unbelievable thinking the weird guy with the unusual pet that turn out to be his sister are pretty cool
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2 comments
Valuable comments already made by 2 readers. Story not understandable as English is poor. One wonders why an occasional stop and a few interrogation marks have been randomly used. Was the blogger wanting to use the stream of consciousness style? Story categorised as American, friendship and science fiction. This categorisation doesn't seem to fit. CRITIQUE CIRCLE
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Good idea; however, you need to place some periods in these sentences to prevent run ons. Keep up the good work though.
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