Impatient Ambitions

"What do you want me to do?" I screamed, throwing a pillow at her. She picked up the pillow quickly and threw it back at me.

"Just do this one little thing for me, please?" she pleaded, giving the puppy eyes tactic a try. My cold unforgiving eyes repelled the attempt at making me give up.

"Why should I do it?" I shouted. My arms folded across my chest as I stared her down. She humphed and replied, "Because I said so."

When I met Ana, she was this sweet little girl. Every day, we'd meet up after school and share an ice cream together. The sticky drops from the cold bonded us together, making us inseparable. But then Harry came along. He swooped her off of her feet and rode off with her into the sunset, leaving a poor soul behind. Every night, I cried myself to sleep, imagining her bubbly voice and deep blue eyes connecting with mine. I jealously watched as Harry overtook her, constantly giving her attention and kisses. They'd go to every track meet, football game, matchup and get compliments about how good they were together. For a while, it seemed that no end was in sight. Another season went by and then finally, things started to move. Harry focused more on his collegiate soccer ambitions and spent less time with Ana. Since he was so rich, Ana began to become impatient and promptly left him, looking for someone else to spoil her. Me, who at the time had no idea what I was in for, quickly stood up to the plate.

I bought a strawberry cone and sat down. It was a cooler day, so I slipped on a sweatshirt and found a nice bench in the sun. Birds flew all around and squirrels chittered just feet away. In the distance, Ana was approaching the ice cream place, money in hand. I quickly got up and moved to a closer seat, ignoring the sudden drop in temperature. At that point, I was bound to do anything. She received her treat and began pacing towards me. I scooched over and motioned slightly for her to sit. She smiled and sat down.

"Hey, Michael," she said.

"Hi, Ana," I replied, blushing with each word.

"It's been a while, hasn't it." she grinned, moving closer. I chuckled nervously and nodded. "You know, ever since Harry stopped buying me things and moved on," she complained. She rolled her eyes and moved her hair away from the front of her body.

"Yeah, I guess it has been," I concluded. She giggled and my stomach went from 10 to 1000. I awkwardly shifted and laughed with her. She smiled and asked me the last question I was expecting.

"I'm just gonna say it: Want to go out?" she asked confidently. I stuttered over my words and my brain exploded. My voice seemed to fail me and I stared helplessly at those damn blue eyes. All I could muster was a squeaky "yes" and off we went, hand in hand.

Thus started the paychecks.

At first, it was small. Coffee here and there, a trip to the mall perhaps. But then it grew. Pretty soon, we were hanging out every day, going out to places, and watching Netflix before... personal time. Anyways, as the relationship grew, so did my debt. Day after day I spent enough money to make a millionaire cry, just to please my cute blue-eyed girlfriend. I still was blind to her impatience and ambitions, and that was my weakness. As long as I bought her something, she would return it with affection. And that seemed to satisfy the relationship.

Until today.

Today, I wanted to rip those pristine blue eyes and put them on a person who actually deserved them. Because boy, oh boy, is she not pristine on the inside. How could she be so ungrateful? I bought her shit day after day, and sometimes she didn't even use them! Why is she doing this? How could I be so blind?" These thoughts raced through my head as I locked myself in the bathroom, listening to Ana destroy things in anger. My eyes were puffy from tears and I was sweating. I wanted to just end it right there and then, to purify me of my wrongdoings. The thought of just doing it was enough to get my adrenaline moving. To be free of impurities, to just be carefree! Adrenaline rushed through my veins. I knew what to say. My feet clomped down the stairs hastily, and Ana stopped her racket. I turned her around and kissed her.

"That's for being beautiful," I started. "But I can't handle it anymore. The fuss, the greed, the ungrateful bitchiness." My hand opened up and I touched her cold, hard face. The same feeling as cash. Tears welled up in her eyes and she held her hand to her cheek. I was about to add another one-liner, but the effect of what I did hit me. I slumped to the ground and cried, not only for myself (for once!) but for her as well. I held my knees and cried a deep cry as she helplessly watched, perhaps thinking herself about what the consequences of her actions were. She looked around the room as tears also rolled down her cheeks. She stared down at her bleeding hands and clenched them in anger not directed at me but at how she reacted.

"She'll never change," I concluded earlier that day. Nothing I've ever done has proven to fix her. Only God can manage to repair her sins and wrongs. However, I was hit yet again with a surprise as she paid me 200,000 dollars. The same amount as the sum of my total spendings that month. Her blue eyes sympathetically looked at me, this time belonging to the person I had hoped to know. The one whose face doesn't feel like money, the one who doesn't want everything in existence.

The one who cares for the other.