The Proposal

She dragged a finger through the sand again, watching the valleys she was creating intersect then crumble. “Did you hear me, Sarah? I said, ‘Will you marry me?’” Jake swallowed and looked around, all of their friends were starting to wander off sensing the awkward tension and wanting to distance themselves. Sam was shaking his head, a silent attempt to deter Jake from further embarrassing himself. Sarah still didn’t respond and began poking holes in the sandy highways she had traced around her legs. Jake snatched her hand and she finally looked him in the eye. “I don’t want to get married.” Jake could feel his mouth gaping open like a fish and snapped it closed. The last of their friends peeled away, letting the couple have a moment of privacy. “Why, Sarah? I thought you loved me?” She just shrugged, rolling the comment off her shoulders as if he wasn’t falling apart in front of her.

Jake dropped her hand and stood up. She turned back to the sand, not in embarrassment or sadness, but in genuine disinterest. He had the sudden urge to kick sand in her face, to make her hurt the way he was hurting, but he didn’t. Instead Jake stomped away, feeling his face burn and to his shame tears stinging his eyes. He really thought she would say yes. He had asked all of their friends to come watch him propose. Sure, he didn’t have a real ring yet, but he didn’t think she cared about that kind of thing. He thought she would find the twisted ring of grass and flowers romantic. He crumpled the makeshift ring in his hand before throwing it on the ground. He had put himself out there, heart full of love, certain she felt the same.

It was fast, but they had been together every day for months and had known each other since first grade. They worked side by side and sometimes Sarah would hold his hand at lunch so everyone knew they were together. Just last week Sam had announced to everyone that Jake and Sarah should get married. Jake could tell it embarrassed Sarah, but she hadn’t disagreed. How could he have misread everything so poorly?

No, he couldn’t be this wrong. He knew they were in love. He had never been in love before, but it wasn’t something you just made up for fun. It wasn’t make-believe. Jake wiped his eyes and turned back to beg Sarah to reconsider, to remember all the good times. He wanted to remind her of that moment she was moved to a desk near his, when they first began spending their free time together, when they first said ‘I love you’. But Sarah was gone. The sand was pockmarked from her fidgeting and he thought he could see her hair ribbon half-buried where she had been sitting, apathetic to his declaration while he took a leap of faith, laying his heart bare. Jake whirled around, looking for Sarah in the sea of faces. He recognized everyone there, but couldn’t find his Sarah until… There she was, her pink cotton candy dress still dusted with sand, her hand firmly planted in Sam’s. He was smiling down at her as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Jake fell to his knees, tears streaming freely now. When Jake had invited him to witness his shame had Sam known? Had they already been secretly together behind Jake’s back, or was Sam taking advantage of the moment? Jake’s hands curled in the sand and he began throwing fistfuls in his anger, his sadness. His other friends glanced over from where they were now walking in groups, gossiping about him and Sarah. He hated them all, he hated Sam, hated Sarah. He marveled out how quickly his love shifted into something ugly full of rage. He didn’t know what to do with all of these emotions bubbling up, overwhelming his rational thoughts. Jake kept crying and flinging sand at the world until he finally began to tire.

He didn’t notice when Kelly sat next to him, delicately arranging her rainbow skirt around her legs, waiting for him to calm down enough to see her. Jake took a few more sobbing gasps before realizing he wasn’t alone. “That wasn’t very kind of Sarah.” Jake laughed at the obvious statement but nodded his agreement. “I really thought she would say yes. I thought she loved me.” Kelly smiled sweetly at him and gently took one of his hands in hers. She uncurled his fingers and carefully wiped away the sand before linking her fingers with his. “I’ll marry you, Jake.” Jake looked at her in shock and saw she had slid the crumpled ring of grass onto her finger.

Kelly had been waiting for Jake to notice her for over a year. She had watched him and Sarah get together, had watched them laugh and hug while she sat in silent agony. Kelly had been Jake’s friend since kindergarten and had loved him ever since he shared his goldfish crackers with her. He had been the only one to help her when she fell in the hallway, dropping her crayons and crying in embarrassment. He had knelt next to her and offered comfort, just as she now sat comforting him.

She pulled him up to his feet and hugged him tightly, not caring what people might say. Sarah had hurt him and already moved on to Sam, Jake deserved to be happy too. She knew he might not feel the same way. Kelly knew she might feel the same rejection Jake had just experienced, but it was worth the risk. She held her breath and stepped back, watching Jake’s face transition from confusion and into something close to joy. He nodded with a smile and reached out to link their fingers again. The bell rang and just like that, Jake’s heart began to heal. He felt lighter as he and Kelly walked hand in hand out of the sandbox and back toward the classroom. After all, the heart of a second-grader is a resilient thing.