NOTE : THIS IS MY FIRST STORY I'VE EVER WRITTEN AS AN AUTHOR, I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY FEEDBACK
May 1885: Prologue
Curtis Brimstone, an aboriginal elder protested and revolted against the European settlers who wanted to take their tribe’s land. The Europeans didn’t budge but decided to send a message with a warning to those who come in their way. Curtis was killed, his body him burnt to a crisp, and his ashes were stored for display in an hourglass as sick showcase of dominance.
PRESENT DAY: 2024
I’m close to finishing up with my shift for the day at the library, where I work as a janitor. I love to work undisturbed on my own, listening to music or podcasts on my headset.
I can’t wait to see my daughter. It’s been a year since the divorce and these months have been crazy & eventful.
Normally, during this time I would be the only janitor on duty. On this day when life threw a curveball at me, I was working in the afternoons to the early evening shift.
When I was busy with my routine of wiping the storage shelves, something new caught my eye. There was an hourglass on one of the dusty shelves.
The hourglass looked unreal, as if it were a prop in some historical movie or tv show. The base & handles of the hourglass were coated in a brown speckled gold colour, and the sand inside was a shiny gold with blue sparkles. I picked the hourglass up, wiped it clean with a cloth, and put it back safely on the shelves after flipping it around. I watched sand begin to trickle downwards slowly.
Suddenly I felt a slight pressure in my ears for two seconds and everything around me went dead silent like I was floating out in space. The sound of crickets chirping outdoors abruptly stopped. I immediately thought that I suffered a sudden hearing loss, but that didn’t make sense as I could hear the sand trickle in the hourglass and my own breath.
When I looked to my right, I could not believe my eyes. A random housefly was stuck mid-air, with static wings as if someone had paused a video and I was in it. I wondered if this might be one of those unexplainably weird, lucid dreams.
I decided to do a reality check. I reached out my hand to touch the disgusting fly and then it started floating in the air and bounced off of a bookcase. When I looked up, I saw the ceiling fan had stopped moving even though I was 100% sure it was running at a slow pace a few minutes ago.
I was convinced ‘the time’ had been stopped forever and my brain was getting stressed.
Then suddenly everything turned back to normal. The fly fell to the ground and flew back up again. The ceiling was spinning as it should.
I heard a voice of my boss “Wake up dude, we need to close for the day soon! You know that, right?”.
I gave a start and apologised. I realised I was standing in place motionless which must have made me look creepy. It was almost 10 pm. I had to finish up quickly and lock up.
What had happened a few minutes ago was taking over my mind and I couldn’t stop thinking about that.
When I headed to the locker to fetch my bag, I passed the hourglass and it had a very bright glow. When I touched it gingerly, it felt warm.
I had a sneaky suspicion about the hourglass, wondering if it possessed the power to stop time. Curious and sceptical at the same time, I decided to take a risk and sneak the hourglass away by slipping it in my bag.
I was sure there weren’t any witnesses around as I was the only there at that time. I sprinted out of there, forgetting my car keys.
I quickly turned back, went to my locker for the car key and took off immediately. I couldn’t wait to get back home and investigate the fancy hourglass.
As I drove home, my mind still raced with thoughts about the hourglass, still blown away by what I’d stumbled upon as these things happen only in fiction.
It was past 11pm when I reached home. My daughter was probably already put to bed by the babysitter. When I entered, it seemed she hadn’t gone to sleep yet and came running towards me. She seemed very happy to see me probably because she wasn’t used to me coming later than my usual time.
“The last hour was tough…It looked like she really missed you” exclaimed the babysitter with relief. “Thank god! You finally reached home…”.
I quickly put her to bed and went to my room to examine the hourglass. When I opened the bag, it still gave off a bright shining light and I decided to test my theory right away.
When I flipped it, I felt nothing different and everything around me seemed normal. At first, I was incredibly disappointed and was almost ready to abandon the hourglass.
Then, as I picked up the object to take a closer look, the bright glow had disappeared after 3 seconds.
“Does this need to cooldown or something like that?”, I wondered.
But when I flipped it again. To my amusement, It worked!
“I KNEW IT!”.
I tested it out by peeking outside and low & behold, everything froze in time and then I stood there waiting to see how long it lasts, and unsurprisingly it lasted 30 seconds.
Instead of going to bed, I considered testing my ‘cooldown’ theory. The hourglass had the bright glow yet again and lasted for 35 minutes, which made me think “Not too bad”, and further motivated me to use it for my own needs.
I chose to investigate it further in the morning with a fresh mind as I had a long day.
The next morning, I went through the routine of waking my daughter up, getting her to eat breakfast and then dropping her at school.
I took the hourglass with me outdoors to test it out, being careful not to accidentally activate it. I walked to the main road, and all the cars passing by, probably at 80 kmph and then decided to stop time by flipping the hourglass.
Every single car and human on the road instantly froze in. I walked casually in between all the stalled cars and I could see various expressions frozen on every person’s face.
But now, I have to wait for 35 minutes for it to be recharged.
I had a devious thought. I gazed over to my right and found a convenience store. I wanted to take what I wanted from the shelves and run out of there in seconds. But my hourglass was still recharging, so I had to wait a while, but in the meantime, I entered the store, waved to the cashier. I began surveying the store, planning all the things I needed to run off with, some for myself and some for my daughter. The store was empty, and I was the only customer at this time.
But as I was looking around, something unexpected happened. A man entered, with his hands inside his pockets. He approached the cashier and pulled out a knife.
“OPEN THE FUCKING REGISTER, NOW!” he threatened the cashier by pointing the knife towards his throat. The cashier started shaking in fear.
“HURRY UP!” yelled the robber.
I was shocked at what I was witnessing, I have never experienced this right in front of me. I was hiding behind a shelf, so the robber didn’t seem to see me as he was way too focused on the cashier.
My instinct at that moment was to stop the robbery, but I was just a nobody, just a random cleaner working in a library earning minimum wages.
The hourglass had still not recharged, and I didn’t know what to do. I tried to distract the robber as long as I can by dropping items & pushing objects at the back of the store. I was sweating profusely.
He was sure distracted as he turned around and warned me to get out of hiding. “COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU’RE HIDING YOU SON OF A BITCH, you can’t escape”
When I saw that my hourglass was finally usable again, I flipped it and stopped time. The guy froze in place with a furious expression. I ran up to him, took the knife from his hand, placed it in front of the cashier. I then took a metal rod lying around, smacked the robber on the head and then ran off from the store.
The robber was on the ground unconscious. The cashier looked confused, not just about the guy on the ground, but also with the knife lying in front of him.
I left him on his own to call the police.
A random man came up to me and asked “Are you okay?”, I answered as quickly as possible “Oh Yeah! I’m fine” while gulping.
“WOW!, what d'you have there, is it yours? It looks BEAUTIFUL, looks straight out of an old movie!”, he said looking at the hourglass.
I did not want to tell him about its power, but when I was about to tell him about where I found it, my mind went blank. I just couldn’t answer, as I couldn’t remember where I found it for the life of me! It almost felt like I had been bewitched with a curse not to speak of it.
“That’s alright, what’s your name, by the way, I’m Brock, nice to meet you.”
When I was about to answer, I realised I couldn’t remember my name, I stuttered & hesitated in front of him.
“Okay, you don’t seem to be in a mood to talk. I can go if you want me to leave you alone, that’s alright” Brock looked at me confused and left, probably weirded out by my body language & behaviour.
I thought at this time, I was probably having a brain fart. I normally forget stuff occasionally but not like this! I did not remember one single detail of the hourglass or about myself!
“What’s happening to me?”
I considered that I could have lost my mind and needed to rest for a while. I then needed to get ready to pick my daughter up from school in a few hours. I decided to turn back and return home, but I felt something weird.
I didn’t know where I was. I knew my address but I somehow forgot the route to walk there!
For some reason, it felt like I was in a new street and I started to carefully look at street signs/names to find my way home. It took me longer to reach home than it would in a normal day. I occasionally had to ask several people on the street for directions.
I thankfully found my way home, I’m shocked that I didn’t forget my address after what had happened just minutes ago.
Nearing my house, I saw a woman on top of a tall ladder, probably to fix something on the roof. I noticed the ladder slightly shuddering, and looked like it was about to collapse. I was too far away to save her in time as the ladder was about to break.
I glanced at my hourglass, and it took me so long to reach my home that the cooldown was complete. It was ready for use, then I noticed one of the ladder legs shattering and I immediately flipped the hourglass quickly and ran to her, picked her body up from mid-air and placed her on the ground lightly.
I kept my distance away from her and pretended like nothing happened. 30 seconds later, she came to, and saw me. She called me out “SUP! Ray, what are you doing out here”
I replied “Wait what! What’s my name” while staring into her eyes with an intrigued expression.
“Stop kiddin’ around Ray”
“Do I know you?” I asked because I had never seen the woman before.
“Alright, Is this a prank? If it is, then very funny, you’ve always been a great comedian” she remarks sarcastically.
“TRUST ME, Miss, I don’t remember YOU and also, is Ray my name? Raymond?”
“Okay this is getting too far, did someone drop you one your head or something? I’m your next-door neighbour, your daughter’s BABYSITTER. If you don’t remember this, you need to go to therapy or else you’re bullshittin’ me.” She seemed pissed off.
“A Babysitter?” I whispered to myself
I pretended that I was kidding and walked away, but in reality, I did not remember her face, nor the fact that I hired a babysitter.
I entered my house with my keys, thankfully I still remembered that. I was frustrated, I had no clue what was going on today.
When I had a moment to reflect and think, ever since I’ve had my hands on the hourglass, weird things have been happening to my memory, it’s like I’m unable to remember them even if I want to.
At the moment, I was contemplating getting rid of the hourglass by breaking it completely, but I was afraid to pull that stunt, as I imagined that would come with huge consequences and I even doubted if the memory problem would be restored/fixed.
I had planned to probably go to a doctor if this gets any worse moving forward.
I looked at the clock and remembered that It was almost time to pick my daughter up from school.
I decided I didn’t need the hourglass with me for this journey, I left it my home and I walked to my car.
But as I walked to my car, a hand touched me on my shoulder, I never got startled as hard as I did here and when I turned around, It was an elderly woman who looked like an aboriginal lady straight from the 1800s.
“Miss, are you okay? Need any help”
She started speaking to me cryptically like one of those shamans from movies.
“Mister, You should know, the hourglass you have holds great danger. A Trapped soul should not be in anyone’s possession” she says in a creepy tone smiling
“Can you stop talking in riddles, Miss. Who are you? What does it mean? Actually, What’s with this hourglass I wanna know”
“It’s not a riddle my dear, you, your daughter & everyone you love will soon be in in grave danger.”
“What do you mean?” I was so stunned that I fumbled over my words
“This hourglass you see, is not just a toy. It’s an object that holds power but comes with consequences. The substance inside the hourglass isn’t sand. They are the ashes of our elder ‘Curtis Brimstone’ who was burnt by the Europeans and his ashes stored in that hourglass. It is cursed.”
“Holy shit! A Curse!, am I really cursed.”
“Yes, of course, my dear, but there’s an easy way to remove the curse forever & get back your lost memories.”
“My memories! I thought so, ever since I have been using the damn hourglass, everything has been getting extremely weird. I abruptly forgot certain things that I used to have a memory of. It’s been a fun ride but I’m ready to get rid of It…” I almost jumped with joy
“But…” She says Interrupting my celebration “What now?” my face turned from smiles to miserable yet again.
She lightly laughs and clarifies “The curse I’m talking about isn’t just the memories. It’s also connected to Curtis which means, when someone uses the hourglass more than 3 times, they get hit with the curse. You won’t feel any pain, but your memory fragments will slowly start to slip away until everything is deleted as It’s happening now and then eventually, your mind and personality will get replaced with those of the new reborn Curtis. If you choose to get rid of the curse, then unfortunately, it would take the life of all your loving daughter as she would perish, not only her but everyone you love & love would DISAPPEAR”
I was completely lost for words, speechless and fell onto my knees. I begged the lady “This can’t be, PLEASE! Tell me there’s another way?”
She kicks me away and tells me “The only choice you have is to either sacrifice the ones you love or decide to live alone. Just to let you know, the curse will take effect in 35 minutes. So, make your decision, your time starts now.”
When I stood up and tried talking to her, she was nowhere to be seen.
I walked to my house in mental pain and disgust. I couldn’t think to save myself and so that others including my daughter would perish, I’m not that kind of person.
I took a piece of paper and wrote down the address of my daughter’s school as I still remembered it. I handed it to my neighbour who according to her is a babysitter I hired.
“Pick her up from school” I told her
“Oh, okay do you have some work” she asked me kindly
Instead of answering her question, I said “Take care of her, tell her that Dad will always be in her heart”
“Come on, is this another one of your jokes, what does this mean, I always take care of her when you’re not home buddy” She laughed thinking it’s another one of my jokes
“It’s not” I went towards my car “You’ll understand it soon enough”.
I said nothing and got in the car, I only had under 20 minutes. I had a picture of my daughter & me in my wallet, I looked at her face one last time, with slight tears rolling down my eyes.
I wasn’t planning to stay near my house, I remembered the name of the place on the hills which me and my daughter would visit every Sunday because It was so beautiful to look at. I’ve always said it looked like heaven.
I arrived in time, just before the sunset which looked like a beauty and I took the cursed hourglass with me, then placed it next to me.
With Only a few minutes to go, I sat down at my favourite spot in front of a beautiful sunset view and reflected upon everything.
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3 comments
I love the concept. One way to spice up writing is when you go back to edit, get all the senses involved. Smell and taste are overlooked the most. Just take a couple of parts of the story and mention how things smell or taste. When you read back through, those parts will really start to pop! Great job! Keep at it!
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thank you for the feedback😊
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Well done! It's a really good story. I particularly like the dialogue as it breaks up the writing. Make sure you keep writing and submitting.
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