Hmmmm…

INGREDIENTS FOR BAKED ALASKA

You’ll need two quarts vanilla Ice cream.

Hmmmm…

One quart sounds more than enough, let alone two. What exactly is a quart anyway? It sounds medieval. I’d better find out fast. Siri will know. Is it sad that I’ve become quite fond of Siri these days and sometimes feel like flirting a little? But then he does have a nice voice.

Hey Siri.

Ah ha. (What can she be wanting now?)

You can make your own or buy it from a store if you prefer.

In my case, definitely the latter. Even if it does feel a bit like cheating! Will R even notice? Of course, he will! He’s a great cook, as well as a scientist. He knows about literally EVERYTHING. Beats me what he sees in me, but they do say opposites attract.

Egg whites for meringue.

Hmmm…

Never actually made meringues before. You reach a point in life where you either have or you haven’t. Maybe it’s the idea of separating the yolks from the whites that grosses me out. However, I’ve always been good with omelettes (R says my omelettes are to die for) and you can’t go making them without breaking eggs.

Hmmmm…

Maybe I should try a different recipe? But R has always raved about his mother treating him to Baked Alaska when he was a boy, etc. Not the best starting position, perhaps: you can never quite match up with those marvellous mothers of yore.

Hmmmmm…

Go on girl, give it a whirl. In for a penny, in for a pound. Remind yourself it’s all for a good cause and get cracking. Hopefully it will be worth the effort and by the end of the evening, the pair of us will be well and truly ensconced. Fingers crossed; the memory of the dish will be something to talk about for many years to come. It will be a case of do you remember the night when we…? Followed by knowing glances and lots of giggling.

Now, I really must go and locate that pink dress with the silver tassels and put my hair up in the butterfly clasp that always reminds me of the one Kate Winslet wore on The Titanic. Hopefully things will go better for me than they did for her, even if my life does sometimes feel like a sinking ship.

So long as it’s not one of those cheap plastic numbers I wear to work, I’ll be alright. Plastic again! I’m hoping my hair won’t stay confined for long. This time I’m gonna dial down the makeup as he likes it subtle. When I open the door, I don’t want him to mistake the gorgeous creature standing before him for a clown.

You will need 1/8 teaspoon cream of tartar to stabilise the meringue.

Hmmmmm…

There was me thinking tartar was the unpleasant stuff that gets embedded in teeth! Or is it what they use on roads? No, that’s tarmac. Definitely something sticky anyway and not inappropriate in my situation. I am stuck. Have been for ages. And so has he. Two friends set in our ways, terrified to step out of our individual comfort zones. Two lonely hearts needing to break out of our moulds. It’s not just the meringues that need stabilising.

Salt (a pinch will enhance the flavour but won’t make the result taste too salty.

Well, we all need a bit of flavour in our lives now and then. A little bit of salt goes a long way.

A cup of white sugar (if you happen to have a sweet tooth).

Hmmmmm…

Judging by our combined number of fillings, we both do. Still, seems a bit excessive.

Cake layer (you can use store bought white cake or make your own).

Definitely going for store bought. It won’t be authentic but too bad. The last time I made a cake, it went all soggy in the middle. Probably not helped by the fact I kept opening and closing the oven door to check it was alright. My daughter Trixie liked it, but then she’s seven! She loves helping me make cakes (fortunately her expectations are low) but this weekend she’s staying with her dad, so this one’s on me. I should have tried the recipe out on her in the first place. She’s a very accommodating little girl. Fortunately, she likes R, otherwise taking it further would be a no no. She finds him funny.

METHOD

1.    Gather all the ingredients.

Hmmmmm…

What does that even mean? Do I collect them up, toss them in the air and hope they land in the right place? Could be. That’s how I usually approach cooking.

2.    Line the bottom and sides of a mixing bowl with plastic wrap.

Where in heaven’s name will I find a plastic wrap in this house? Plastic and wrap don’t exactly sound like a partnership made in heaven. All I want is to be wrapped up in him.

3.    Pack the softened ice cream into the bowl, then flatten the top and cover with a plastic wrap.

The plastic wrap thing is getting way out of hand!

4.    Freeze until firm. Can’t quite get my head round that. (You can leave it overnight).

Why’s that in brackets? What will happen if it’s not left overnight? The more pressing question is what will I wake up to in the morning? Always a good question to ask in life to avoid later regrets. I wish I’d asked it more often.

5.    Pack the ice cream into a prepared bowl and freeze.

Sounds simple enough, so why am I still confused?

6.    Make the meringue.

Uh oh. You mean I’ve actually got to make it????? This is getting serious! I know who I’d like to make it with…

How do I do that exactly, or is it better not to ask?

7.    Beat the egg whites, sugar, cream of tartar, and salt into a mixing bowl until stiff peaks form.

Hmmmmm…

Sounds both saucy and scary, but it might be a way to unleash the hidden dominatrix R’s always teasing me about. Stiff peaks? Probably best not go there.

8.    Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place cake in centre.

Eh? What’s this about parchment? Sounds like I’m going to have to delve into the past here. Might be an idea to brush up on my knowledge of the history of ancient mummies and tombs somewhere along the line.

9.    Remove ice cream from the freezer, discard wrap, and turn ice cream out on top of the cake.

Hmmmm…

Turn it out???? At this point, I think I’m definitely going to be adding some kind of liquor before adding the ice cream. Maybe Baileys? After all, we’ve both got sweet teeth. I’m going to need it.

10. Quickly spread the meringue over the ice cream, swirling in decorative patterns if required.

Hmmmm….

What’s the hurry? Also, I wasn’t aware there was any call for decorating skills here.  

Freeze for two hours. Confused again. I’m not crazy about freezing anything. The stuff in the freezer has been there way too long.

11. Preheat the oven to 220 degrees.

That, I can manage. Although maybe I should have cleaned the oven before cooking.

12. Bake cake on the lowest shelf in the oven until the meringue is lightly browned and crisp. Should take between 8 and 10 minutes.

I can do that too. There’s hope for me yet.

Slice and enjoy.

Mmm…

Sounds promising. If nothing else, he’ll have plenty to get his teeth into. We’ll just have to wait and see about the rest. Maybe I’ll ask Siri.