A lot of pain

Trigger warning: suicide

Susmita Shah is a Brahman Hindu lady. Her family members are acute in their religious beliefs. She is reading Humanity in a college. Today is her first day in her college. To everyone this day comes with new experiences but to Susmita it comes with not only experiences but also emotions. This emotion is captured between two people. In word which is called love. They fall in love at their first sight. But their love is different from others. Susmita loved a Muslim person named Abdullah. They loved each other but never reminds about the outcome of their love. As a Hindu family her family will not allow their love for each other. Besides, her family had a huge reputation in the society so if she marries a Muslim person she and her family will be a matter of laugh. So she can’t break his long family tradition by marrying a Muslim person. But her love for the guy forced her to break all family and religious tradition. One day her father somehow managed to know about this matter. From then she was forced to not to attend her classes anymore. Her mother said to her to not to go with the guy because they dream that she will be a doctor in future and tried to explain that if she goes with the guy, their dream will be ruined. Besides, her father arranged her marriage with a Hindu guy. So her lover hit a plan to flee away far from their family and they will start a new life. So on his Marriage day they fled far from their family. She marries the Muslim person but while marrying the guy a pain attacked her much. Because being a Hindu lady she is adopting a new religion which is very different from his religion. Besides she is breaking his family tradition and reputation by marrying a Muslim guy. Today is her first day after marriage and she is doing her Fazar prayer with her husband. An untold pain attacked her. She knew that according to her religion she will be punished because of what she did but love is blind .That’s why she left all and her religion. After some year they give birth to a child. Now, their child is enough grown up to learn some important things. She is now teaching her child about their religion. When doing this she feels a lot fain because once her mother also taught her this but not the same religion her mother taught her and she dream to teach her child. Now she realized that her decision of breaking the long family tradition will hurt her all the life. But she can’t imagine that her pains will be much dipper in the future times. Some years passed. Now they have two children. One is a girl named Maya and other is a boy named Amir. Now, their girl is enough grown up to go to school. They admitted her into a school. Now, their happiness and sadness lies between their children’s happiness and sadness. They tried their best to fulfill their dreams. Like the proverb “Time and Tide wait for none”, time goes. Now, Maya is in a college and Amir is reading in a high school. They were passing their time happily when an incident happened. Like her mother, Maya fall in love in her college. But the difference between her mother and her is that she loved a Muslim guy. Like her mother Susmita tried to explain her that after so much hardship we are able to fulfill all your dreams and we hope that you will be a very good government employee. Susmita pleased her to not to go with the guy and not to destroy their dreams. But Maya says, “When you can do this why can’t I do this?” Susmita have nothing to say because Maya is not lying. She also did the same thing when she was in her age. Maya then goes with the guy. After that Susmita realized that how much painful it could be when your child destroy your dreams. She realized that her father and mother have the same pain as she has. So, she felt very guilty and wanted to say sorry to her mother and father.  So after so much hardship she reached her city and tried to meet her family. But when she goes there she came to know that her father and mother felt very much shame and that’s why they suicide. She felt very much pain after hearing that. She cried very much after that. Then after sometime her husband died and now she has only her son with her. But he is busy in her work and Susmita began to feel alone. This time she realized the importance of having a family which she left. In her last time he realized that how much alone she is now. She is leading her life with so much pain and sadness. Soon this sadness made her weak by emotions. She can’t understand what she should do. But she has only one dream now which she shares with her child Amir. She says, “Please when I will leave all of you, you will bury me near my mother and father” Amir promised his mother to do that. Susmita feel very sad day by day and this sadness forced her to do suicide. But before her suicide she goes to her daughter and said that she give them the permission to lead their life because she don’t  want her daughter  to feel guilty like her. Then she killed herself. After her death Amir tried to fulfill his mother’s last dream what she says to him. But when she went to her mother’s city to get permission to bury her mother there, they refuge to do that because of what her mother did in the past. So Amir managed to bury her mother to another place. Susmita’s dream can’t be fulfilled at the end of her life.

                                   (THE END)