Technomancer 16: Opportunity

Screw this, Masa thought, puking her guts into the toilet in her mother’s workshop. Carefully, she held her dark hair back as more came. When it was over, she wiped the corner of her mouth with an old rag, relieved the bathroom was far enough away that her mother would not hear.

Picking up an empty bucket from the water barrel, she filled it and threw the water into the open toilet tank before flushing. The room smelled rank with stale piss, but at least the commode was only shared by three and not the mess which had frequented the Canteena in Nuevo Laredo where over fifty had shared five stalls. She collapsed onto the seat, rubbing her temples and waiting for the world to stop circling her.

Another couple of weeks had passed and still nothing. No fuel. No car. Masa was running out of time and could not convey a sense of urgency without revealing the secret she kept from everyone but Arion. And they would all know soon enough. The child was growing quickly and there would be no hiding it in a few weeks. Almost as if prompted, the baby moved within her in the form of butterflies. She touched her torso, feeling nothing but dread.

Where was the smile Loretta and the other women had when they felt the same inner peace? Instead, her thoughts were drawn to troubling questions. What would life be like for the child? What would the birth be like? And what if she could not find Leron? The thought of raising a child alone in this world terrified her.

She left the bathroom, passed through the kitchen, and into the main workshop where her mother worked over the table in one corner. Upon it sat pipettes, Bunsen burners, and what appeared to be distilling equipment, but she wasn’t too sure about the last. It was where the woman spent most of her time. Her greying hair rested on her shoulders and muttering to herself in English.

“Anything?” Masa asked, trying to figure out where Arion was hiding. She looked around the room and wondered if he was outside or beneath one of the vehicles.

“No,” replied her mother, writing something in her notebook. “Nothing has changed since we met up two months ago, and standing over me, staying the night or anything else will not make this move any faster. If anything, it does the opposite.”

“But the tests…One of the vehicles was working,” Masa said, sitting at the table. She rested her head on her hands, wishing the queasiness would leave.

“Not well enough,” argued her mother, “The last thing we want to is to end up in the middle of the desert.”

“They’re speaking of the fuel reserves in San Antonio, surely there must be something we can purchase here in the market?”

“Not with the money I make,” said her mother. “The farmers buy up every drop and fight over it so the price keeps going up.”

“She’s right, Masa. Leave her alone. If you really want to help, you can make dinner,” Arion said from beneath one of the old cars.

Masa glared at the car, willing it to melt on top of him. The way he was so eager to put her in the kitchen or lock her away at the Monterrey group only served to fuel her anger. He might have apologized for what he said in Nuevo Laredo, but his actions still spoke of what he intended.

A grating sound came from the wheels of the mechanics' trolley and Arion appeared from beneath the car, covered in rust, grease, and sweat. He climbed to his feet and placed the heavy spanner on the table. He had taken to helping her mother with the regular work on vehicles so she could focus on biofuel. Masa was surprised to find him so knowledgeable on the topic though he did argue that he only knew the basics. “I’m going to need more parts if you want this old rust bucket to function.”

“There’s more in the other room,” said her mother.

“I’ve exhausted all of those putting together that cart for the farmer,” he responded, sitting down and wiping the sweat from his brow. “Masa, we’re going to need to return to the camp soon. Loretta will want to check on you.”

“I don’t understand why,” said her mother, “You both have been spending more time here than there. You might as well just stay at this point.”

Arion opened his mouth to speak, but Masa glared at him and he shut it again. In silence, he returned her glare with interest, his eyes darkening beneath his short brown hair. The sheen of sweat on his tan skin was appealing, but she ignored it, instead focusing on the late afternoon light coming in through the windows. Before Arion could say anything else, Masa said, “Loretta thinks of me as her daughter and worries when we are away too long.”

Her mother went silent. The pen in her hand stopped moving, and Masa could tell she had hurt her deeply. Things were still not great between them, but Masa was certain that the little ground her mother thought she had gained was precious. Her comment only served to remind the older woman of their rift. “If you say so,” her mother said.

Masa left the two of them and despite her feelings on the issue, she yielded and made dinner in her mother’s kitchen. She drank water to ease the smell of the food, but it did little good and she longed to escape the room and its stench. She and Leron had only been together twice and now this? It was more than she could bear. Perhaps it was a lie to believe everything would be better once she got to Leron, but it was all she had to keep moving forward.

While she cooked, Arion walked in behind her and began cleaning up in the sink. The smell of sweat and grease became stronger as he approached, wrapping his arms around her, and touching her belly. “I can’t believe your mother hasn’t noticed,” he said and chuckled. He breathed in deeply and began kissing down her neck.

Masa struggled to unwrap his arms from around her. “Arion. Please don’t.”

“If Leron hasn’t returned on his own by now, it's likely he can’t. It's too late for you to go searching for him. You’re too far along and it will be dangerous. Your mother hasn’t made much progress beyond her initial discovery, and you cannot make it on foot as you are now. Besides, he’s probably dead.”

“I won’t believe that.”

“I’m here now. I’ll treat your child like mine.”

Masa stared at him, fighting against what she knew was probably the truth. He was here now and would look after her. She knew he would. “Arion, I don’t love you. You know that.”

“Liar.”

Masa growled and stormed out, leaving Arion with the food. She sought the escape of the roof above her mother’s mechanic shop, but the energy to climb the ladder was gone. In tears, she leaned against the wall, sliding down it in defeat. She hid her hands and wept. It was all going so horribly wrong and she felt powerless to do anything. She prayed to any deity who would hear her to make a way for her to get to Leron.

“I’m sorry,” Arion said, from the direction of the door. “I just can’t help myself sometimes.”

Masa sniffed and wiped her eyes. She looked up and nodded, waiting for him to continue. He sat beside her, passing her a bowl of beans and pork. The smell made her stomach turn, but she took it and forced herself to eat. 

Arion sighed, “I’m always saying things I don’t really mean. It's only because I love you and it's killing me watching you chase after a ghost. It's hard to be a man and alone. We…ah…” He laughed and hung his head in shame. “We have needs.”

“I know,” she managed in a whisper. “He has to be alive. I can’t give up on him. He would never give up on me.”

Arion chuckled, “That would be just like him. You were the only thing that kept him going in that cell. Sometimes I wish I had been the one you met first. You might have loved me more.”

“You should move on, Arion. There are bound to be more single women in Laredo somewhere,” Masa said and began laughing, “You just need to go out and look. Go find yourself a rich farmer's daughter or something.”

“Perhaps,” he mused, scratching the stubble on his chin, “I want to wait for you. Tell you what, I will still go with you to San Antonio. If we find him, I'll go find someone else. If Leron is gone, please reconsider?”

Masa sat in silence for a time while she finished her dinner. “Okay,” she said at last.

Arion wrapped his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. The exhaustion soon took her and she passed out. She woke up on the floor on a mattress and Arion had his arms around her. She groaned inwardly, pulling them off her, and went to the bathroom. He really just wouldn’t give up.

When she had completed what had become her normal routine, she went in search of her mother and found her outside, smoking beside the door. Masa did her best not to inhale and watched as her mother tapped the ash onto the ground. “I need more corn, tortillas, and eggs,” she said, tossing her a bag of coins.

“I’ll go, but can we talk?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll get what you need, but Arion and I are going to return to the Monterrey group and head north on foot. We can’t keep waiting around here like this. We should have gone a month ago.”

“I don’t understand why you’re in such a hurry. Why can’t you just move on?” her mother said. “That young man has been here with you all this time and you keep chasing after this other man. Leron? He’s just another man. They come and go and let you down. Look at me and your father. He got carried away with his dreams and stole you from me.”

“Leron wouldn’t do that.”

“Whatever you say, hun.”

Masa rolled her eyes and left, taking the coin purse and a bag for the produce. It felt good to be out in the morning sun and have some fresh air, and even better to be away from Arion and her mother. She pushed through the tiredness, continuing in the dry morning heat.

The streets were empty in the mornings before the crowds emptied off the highway from further away and into the market. Above her, the familiar signs of long-gone fast-food places filled the sky in every direction.

Women with small children shopped at the different stalls, trying to beat the afternoon rush. The children screamed with excitement and Masa hesitated, resting against one of the empty booths while she drank from the canteen at her waist.

As she watched, a smile slowly formed at the corners of her mouth. She imagined her own child running between the stalls, screaming in delight at all the different things being sold. A smaller version of Leron. She could teach them everything she knew and sing the songs she recalled her own mother singing to her as a child.

This was what made the women of the Monterrey Group smile at their own bellies and what they had fought so hard for. A future filled with simple things. Even in the darkest world, you as a mother could present a world filled with wonder and delight for your children. And homemaking she supposed was a part of that, too. She could see herself following Loretta, balancing motherhood and fighting to protect her people.

Continuing on her way, she hummed Estrellita, and enjoyed the rise and fall of its sweet melody while she rubbed her belly. She knew where she was headed and relaxed into the familiar routine.

The rumble of engines caused her to pause and look up. Outside the grocery stall were three army trucks. She had not seen a truck for the Texas military since they had passed on the highway in a rush toward San Antonio. Masa had longed to run after them, but they were moving too fast. Here, they sat almost as if they were waiting for her. She thanked whatever deity had answered her prayer and made a beeline for the stall, not wanting to miss her opportunity.

Masa peeked into the tent and saw several of the soldiers inside, browsing and discussing a trade with the owner. There had to be more of them. She looked up and down the street. A few of the soldiers were at stalls nearby and one had been left to guard the trucks, but he was speaking on a cellphone. She was surprised it was working. Weren't they all destroyed? Taking the opportunity, she snuck between the second and third truck whose back was well hidden from the view of the street, and peeked into the back. Large wooden crates filled the back – just the right size for a woman. Another coincidence. She climbed into one, settling herself into the dried kidney beans inside, and relaxed into them, pulling the lid over top.

Perhaps it was too good to be true, but it was the best chance she had. She no longer had to deal with Arion’s attention or her mother’s attitude. Finally, she was going to San Antonio.

****

Arion woke up and stretched, scratching the back of his neck. Sitting up, he crossed his legs and cleared his throat. Masa might be angry, but there was nothing quite like sleeping next to a woman. The warmth of her body against his had excited him and he had struggled to control himself. It had been so long. He wondered where she had disappeared and grinned, thinking of how to tease her this time. No doubt she would be angry with him for his sleeping with her. What she didn't appear to realize was that her outbursts only fueled his attraction to her. He loved a spicy woman.

Climbing to his feet, he headed toward the kitchen in search of breakfast, but a quick glance at the clock had him growing worried. It was almost noon.

“Where’s Masa?” he asked.

Masa’s mother, Janine was already working beneath the car he had struggled to repair the day before. She must have found something that would replace the broken part. She slid out from beneath the vehicle, wiping her hands on a rag. “I sent her to the market first thing this morning. Why? What’s the time?”

“Noon,” he panicked, heading for the door. “I have to go find her.”

“She probably just went exploring,” Janine said from behind him.

Arion turned at the door. “No, you don’t understand,” he said, “She’s pregnant. We have to find her.”

Janine’s eyes went wide.

Arion didn’t wait a moment longer, he left out the door at a run towards the market, passing by the people coming off the highway. He struggled through the crowd. Janine caught up to him in the mess, taking hold of his shoulder and forcing him to face her. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn't she?" She demanded.

Arion faced forward, pushing between people, “She didn’t want it known yet.”

“Is it yours?” Janine asked, her tone filled with an excitement that made him want to crawl beneath a rug. He did wish it was.

“Hell no, it's why she’s so desperate to go north. It’s Leron’s.”

They made it into the market and began searching the crowds. It took them hours to make it through all the stalls, but she wasn’t anywhere to be found. It occurred to him, that whatever Masa had been sent to pick up would have defined where she would have gone. He had been in such a panic that he had forgotten all his training.

“What did you send Masa to pick up?” he asked.

“Corn, tortillas, and eggs.”

Arion recalled the grocery stall where Masa often went for supplies. He raced towards it with Janine close behind. They arrived just as the man was packing up for the day. Arion described Masa and asked if the man had seen her, but he said no. “Have you seen anything out of the ordinary today?”

“Just some soldiers from San Antonio. They arrived this morning, bought supplies, and left. I think they said they were headed back to San Antonio after checking on the southern border.”

“Damn it,” Arion growled, tightening his fists. He longed to break something but managed to keep his anger contained. This was not the time to bring the market police down on top of them. He began heading back in the direction they came and towards Janine’s shop.

“Wait!” cried Janine, running after him. “We can’t stop now. We only just started.”

Arion turned to glare at her and a look of knowing crossed her face.

“You know where Masa is,” she said.

“I know where she is headed,” he grumbled, “This was bound to happen. You were stalling.”

Janine folded her arms and laughed. “And you were doing nothing about it.”

“I should have. We have to go after her.”